


To Be of Service

by Asher_Ephraim



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Sex, Aromantic Hux, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Choking, Consensual Non-Consent, Double Penetration, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fisting, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Force Choking, I just tagged my career, M/M, Medication Therapy Management, Mental Health Issues, Poor Dopheld Mitaka, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Religion, Roleplay, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Kylo Ren, Virgin Hux, Voyeurism, bottom Mitaka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2018-09-28 10:16:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 64,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10091852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asher_Ephraim/pseuds/Asher_Ephraim
Summary: When Lord Ren chokes Mitaka in a fit of rage, he’s surprised by the lieutenant’s response to asphyxiation. Mitaka knows exactly what he likes, and he intends to teach Ren how to give it to him. Eventually Hux becomes caught up in their games as well, despite his utter lack of experience or even interest in such things until now.





	1. Awkward Conversations

A gloved hand shoots out, palm toward Mitaka. His back slams into the wall across the room, his breath knocked out in a single gust. When he tries to suck in more air to replace what he’s lost, he finds he cannot. Lord Ren is saying something, surely threatening words, but Lieutenant Mitaka doesn’t listen. Instead he’s trying to keep his body from responding in its typical way to suffocation.  
         _Please stop_ , he tells himself. Not now. Not like this. This interaction is about violent retribution, however misdirected. Ren is furious and he wants someone to suffer; Mitaka just happens to be a convenient target. But thinking that doesn’t help. Instead it sends his mind spinning through remembered encounters.  
          _Take your punishment. It’s only what you deserve. Besides, you love every moment of this._  
         His lips form around the silent word “Fuck” as he feels himself hardening very quickly indeed. Surely Ren won’t notice—he has to be too upset to pay attention to Mitaka’s inappropriate physiological reaction to this particular stimulus.  
         Eventually Ren speaks a single word. It’s “Lieutenant” and it sounds almost like a question.  
         Mitaka can’t be certain, but he thinks he hears confusion in the mechanically modulated voice. He forces himself to look straight into where Ren’s eyes must be, if the knight is in fact human. The grip eases up. Mitaka’s feet hit the floor.  
         “You…” Ren doesn’t seem to know how to continue. “You surprise me, Lieutenant.” He releases Mitaka entirely. “Leave.”  
         The lieutenant doesn’t need to be told twice.

 

That evening finds Ren pacing his quarters. He should be focussing on how Organa’s fleet had managed to slip through their blockade, on how to prevent such a failure in the future. But instead it’s the dark-haired lieutenant he’s thinking about. His wide-eyed expression, the racing heart, the adrenalin rush, and of course, the unmistakable thrum of pleasure.  
         The knight has Force-choked innumerable individuals. Those people have, in turn, displayed a wide range of responses, up to and including death. Also on the list are: terror and dread, tremors, loss of consciousness and bladder control, seizures, and panic attacks. But never this. Not even once.  
         Even though his own experience in this field is admittedly limited, he’s aware that there are people who enjoy that sort of thing. He just never imagined that such a person would enjoy it in this type of situation. Certainly not someone like Lieutenant Mitaka. And not with him doing the choking. After all, he basically assaulted the man. Alright, he  _did_  assault the man.

 

“Mitaka.”  
         The lieutenant jumps slightly in his chair at the sound of his name spoken in that modulated voice. He forces himself to turn around, knowing exactly what he’s going to see. Lord Ren. His damn helmet and his stupid robes and those terrifying powers…  
         “Yes, My Lord?”  
         “Might we have a moment alone?”  
         Mitaka can’t help it: his eyebrows shoot up as far as they’ll go. What could the knight possibly want to discuss with him? “Sir?”  
         He follows Ren into a small conference room, nerves jittering throughout his body and mind.  
         When the door swishes shut behind them, Kylo Ren turns to face him. His hands reach up to his neck and with a pneumatic hiss, the catches of his helmet release and he lifts it off.  
          _Oh. Oh, my_ , Mitaka finds himself silently saying.  _This_  is entirely unexpected. He thinks Lord Ren may actually be younger than he. And that face. Young and human and very expressive. Dark eyes peer directly into his own.  
         “I… wished to apologise, Lieutenant.”  
         He blinks.  _Really_? “My Lord?”  
         “For the incident yesterday.”  
          _That’s what we’re calling it?_  He nearly laughs. An incident is when you trip over a power cord, or drop your rations on the canteen floor. Being attacked by a goddamn sorcerer because you’d delivered unwelcome news is… Well, it’s the sort of thing that makes for a rather hostile work environment.  
         “For choking you,” the knight clarifies unnecessarily.  
         Mitaka may or may not be blushing slightly. “Yes. Apology accepted. Thank you, Lord Ren.”  
         But the knight still looks confused, or concerned. “Wait,” he blurts out as Mitaka turns to go and reaches for the door panel. The lieutenant freezes in place.  
         “Yes, My Lord?”  
         “About that.”  
          _Fantastic. He’s going to bring it up, isn’t he?_ Still, he waits patiently for Ren to bring it up, feeling his face begin to flush in the meantime.  
         “Your… reaction. Is that… typical for you?”  
         Now he’s certainly bright red. “Are we actually discussing this, Lord Ren?”  
         The knight crosses his arms over his wide chest. “I’d like to. I admit I’m rather curious.”  
         Curious? Lord Ren is sufficiently curious about Mitaka’s sexual proclivities to directly ask about them while they’re alone in a conference room? “This is really neither a good time nor place, My Lord.”  
         Ren frowns. “Well, then when and where?”  
         It seems as though the knight is unaccustomed to people skirting his questions. Mitaka wishes he were higher ranking so that he could safely roll his eyes the way General Hux does. Instead he has to respond more or less politely. “My shift ends at 1900. We could speak then.” Why is he saying this? It isn’t as though he owes the man answers, much less a conversation.  
         “Do you drink alcohol?”  
         “Sometimes. When my schedule permits.”  
         “There’s a private lounge for senior officers.”  
         Mitaka immediately shakes his head in protest. “I’m not—”  
         Ren cuts him off. “But I am. I can invite you.”  
         “Oh.” He pauses to think. “That would be… nice.”  _Would it?_

 

Mitaka had agreed to meet Lord Ren outside the lounge at 2000. It gave him time to put some food into his stomach before he added alcohol to the mix. Although he wasn’t able to eat much with his nerves pestering him at full-force. Now he stands by the door and breathes, feeling terribly out of place. More than anything, he hopes General Hux won’t be present. He has no idea how he’d explain this to his superior. _Ah, you see, sir, Lord Ren Force-choked me and now we’re going to be discussing why that gave me an erection._  
         Right when he’s thinking that he ought to go ahead and ditch this plan, the Knight of Ren comes sweeping down the corridor. Seeing the man in full regalia, Mitaka’s pituitary gland decides to dump a significant quantity of adrenaline into his bloodstream, and he can feel his hands shaking where he’s clutching them behind his back at parade rest.  
         “Lieutenant. Glad you agreed to meet.” With a wave of his hand, he bypasses the security panel. Mitaka knows the man has a clearance card somewhere in his robes, and is both impressed and annoyed that he’s using his powers in such an unnecessary and trivial way.  
         Lord Ren steers them to a small private room past the bar. It’s serviced by its own dedicated bartender droid. Mitaka is certain the droid costs more than a year of his wages, and thinks,  _It just sits here waiting for orders_. Not unlike himself, really.  
         They take their seats in a corner booth. Lord Ren orders himself a drink—something multisyllabic that Mitaka doesn’t recognise—before turning to his companion. “What would you like, Lieutenant?”  
         He shrugs, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin as well as the lounge. Speaking to the droid, he puts in his own order. “I’ll have a whiskey. Neat.” Until arriving here, he planned on having an ale. But Lord Ren’s proximity, his unmasked state, and the threatened topic of conversation have the lieutenant deciding he requires something a good deal stronger. “Thank you, My Lord.”  
         Ren frowns slightly. “You don’t need to use titles while we’re here. I think they’ll get in the way of conversation.” The drinks are placed in front of them, and the knight takes a thoughtful sip off his. “Again, I apologise for causing you pain and… discomfort.”  
         “I’ve already accepted your apology.” There’s a pause where he’d usually add,  _My Lord_. “But I imagine you don’t frequently say you’re sorry to the people you choke.”  
         Ren’s brows knit and he stares down into his glass. “No. I don’t.”  
         “So why me?”  
         “Because you intrigue me.”  
         Mitaka frowns and takes an experimental sip. “I’m hardly worth your interest.” The whiskey is top-shelf, the sort the lieutenant would usually only have access to at a wedding.  
         Now Ren is frowning as well. The two of them must really look like they’re enjoying this conversation, Mitaka thinks grumpily. “Why do you say that?”  
         “I’m just a junior officer. Granted, I’m very good at my job. But it’s all I do, sir.” Wake up, breakfast, work the bridge, eat, sleep, repeat.  
         “I doubt that’s true. I have a suspicion you get up to some rather interesting activities when you’re off-duty. I seem to recall asking you a question about those hobbies.”  
         Right now, the lieutenant decides the best course of action is to knock back as much of his drink as he can in one go. “Yes?” he asks, throat and face burning. It’s a waste of quality whiskey, but at least his blush could be blamed on the rushed intake of alcohol.  
         “Was that the first time you’ve been choked?”  
         “No, sir.” He can’t help but smile thoughtfully as he recalls the first time. He’d been eighteen, fresh to the Academy. And the boy he was with had just grinned and said,  _Let me try something. Tell me if you don’t like it._  Instead of saying anything of the sort, Mitaka had unexpectedly climaxed with a fist around his throat.  
         “And it wasn’t during a fight, was it?” Ren’s smile is somewhere between shy and lascivious.  
         “No, sir,” he mumbles, sounding miserable. This is just about as awkward an interaction as he imagined earlier. He turns to the droid and orders a second, much-needed whiskey.  
         Ren waves his very large hands, almost toppling his own drink with his gesture. “So, your response has been conditioned…”  
         Desperately, Mitaka fiddles with the collar of his uniform. “Please, sir. I’m really not comfortable—” He stops, closes his eyes, and chooses to go ahead and talk. “Fine.” He raises his own hands in defeat. “Yes, I like being choked by lovers. So, it was a bit awkward to have you do that to me.”  
         The knight purses his lips and tilts his head. “Not interested in me, Lieutenant?”  
         Mitaka can’t tell if Ren is teasing, genuinely hurt, or flirting. It makes him stumble in his response. “It’s... well… Not exactly professional.”  
         “Some might say it wasn’t professional of me to attack you.”  
         “Granted. Also, I had no idea what you looked like at that point. There’s actually a rumour on-board that you might not be human.” He clears his throat. “So I didn’t know you were attractive.”  
         At this admission, Kylo Ren smiles broadly. “You find me attractive, then?”  
         “Well… yes. Your hair’s very nice, too. I don’t see much of that sort of thing, it not being regulation and all.” The drinks are loosening his tongue and dulling how much he currently cares about that fact.  
         The knight sips at his drink and changes the subject a little. “Tell me, what else do you like? In addition to your asphyxiation kink?”  
         “Ah. Several things, actually.” Lieutenant Mitaka straightens in his seat and decides to negotiate. “But for each item I share with you, I’d like you to tell me something in return.”  
         Ren nods. “That’s fair. You’ve already told me something, so let me see… I didn’t have sex until I was nineteen.”  
         Mitaka smiles, pleased that Ren hadn’t chosen to start off with something self-aggrandising. “I also enjoy being restrained.” __  
“I’ve never fucked the same person twice.”  
         “I’ve never topped.”  
         “I’ve always wanted to spank someone.”  
         “I like that, too.”  
         Kylo Ren shoots him a glance. “I’ve always used condoms.”  
         “I haven’t.” Mitaka shrugs at this admission. “But I’ve only foregone them with other service members, and we have extensive medical clearances.”  
         “How much better is it?”  
         Mitaka groans. “ _So_  much better. Are you gay?” Because right now he’s thinking about Lord Kylo Ren, bare and taking him from behind. And he’d like to know if he should dismiss that image now.  
         Kylo blinks. “Yes. Sorry, I thought I’d made that clear. And you?”  
         “Oh, yes. Well, I sometimes used to make out with girls at the Academy. When I was drunk.”  
         “Tell me something, Lieutenant. What’s General Hux’s orientation?”  
         The junior officer sighs, letting his disappointment show. “I’m pretty sure he’s asexual.”  
         “Ah. Damn shame.”  
         “I know.” Immediately he gives Ren a panicked look. “Oh, Maker. I shouldn’t have said that. It was entirely unprofessional.”  
         The knight just chuckles. “I’m pretty sure this conversation passed the professional mark some time ago. Believe me, it won’t get back to him. You’re the only non-Force user I’ve willingly spent any sort of time with on this ship.”  
         “Thank you. I really appreciate—” Mitaka falls silent as he feels an invisible hand at his throat. It isn’t a choke, not quite, but it’s sufficient. “ _Sir_ …” he breathes, staring into Ren’s eyes. “What do you want?”  
         “I want you to show me what you like. Directly, and one-on-one.”  
         Mitaka braces himself against the table top. “You want… me?”  
         Ren leans over and whispers into his ear. “Yes. And I’d like to learn to give you exactly what you want.”  
         The lieutenant gulps against the pressure. “Now?”  
         “Yes indeed now.” It sounds like a growl and Mitaka half-melts, half-collapses forward onto the table. “Well?”  
         “Please.” The hold around his neck vanishes and he hears Kylo stand up from his seat. The lieutenant pulls himself together enough to sit up. “Where do we go?”  
         “Follow me,” the knight orders cryptically and replaces his helmet.


	2. Show Me What You Like

Mitaka obeys, trailing Lord Ren by three respectful steps as they exit the bar and make their way to the deck that houses the senior officers’ living quarters. Mitaka has never been here.  
         Ren’s rooms are sparse, but so is Mitaka’s own. The knight sets his helmet down on a table near the entryway and turns to the lieutenant. “So, how do we go about this?”  
         Mitaka bites his lower lip impatiently, reminding himself that Ren is new to this and they can’t just launch into things. “Well, we need a safeword.”  
         The knight nods seriously. “What works for you?”  
         “I like using a colour-coded system. ‘Green’ for ‘Keep going’, ‘Yellow’ for ‘Slow down’ or ‘Ease up’, and—”  
         Ren easily guesses the rest. “‘Red’ for ‘Stop’?”  
         “Yes. And stop means everything. The whole encounter.”  
         “Have you ever used ‘Red’?”  
         A brief grimace crosses Mitaka’s face. “Yes, but I’d rather not talk about that now.” That conversation would be a perfect way to ruin the mood.  
         “Alright. What else should we discuss?”  
         “Activities. Do you have any toys here?” Ren shakes his head; Mitaka had been expecting this, but he needed to make sure. “Well, that makes things simpler. I am more than willing to start by sucking you off. Depending on your length, that can include deep-throating and face-fucking. You may hold me down if you’d like. If it gets to be too much, I’ll slap your thighs twice and you’ll need to pull out so I can breathe.”  
         The knight is stiffening just thinking about this. Obviously, if the lieutenant has the activity this well figured out, it suggests he’s skilled. “Understood. Anything else?”  
         “Oh, yes. I’d like you to fuck me. You have lubricant?” A quick nod. “Good. That’s a must. Do you have a medical clearance you’re willing to share?”  
         “Yes. Just a moment.” Kylo reaches out and a datapad flies across the room into his hand.  
         Mitaka gasps. “Heavens. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”  
         Ren smiles and pulls up his medical file. The most recent update was four days ago, and it’s all clear: No known infectious agents. “You?”  
         “May I log in on here?” he asks, and when Ren nods, he brings taps at the screen to call up his own records and share them. Two days previous, same results. Handing the datapad back, he states, “In that case, you can have me bare.”  
         The knight almost needs to sit down with this apparently surprising piece of information.  
         “Additionally, you can slap or spank me as well, but no bruises above the collar and no bleeding.”  
         Kylo Ren blinks a few times; he hadn’t even been imagining something that would draw blood. “Understood.”  
         “Please feel free to choke me. But not to the point of unconsciousness.” He gives a quick smile. “I think that’s it. Oh, except one more thing. What should I call you?”  
         It’s apparent that the knight doesn’t really understand what he’s asking, because he awkwardly answers with, “My name is Kylo Ren.”  
         And now Mitaka finally feels free to roll his eyes. “Thank you, yes, I know that. Would you prefer me to refer to you as My Lord? Sir? Ren? Master?”  
         Ren’s eyes darken in comprehension and he reaches a hand out to stroke Mitaka’s lower lip with the thumb. “‘My Lord’ or ‘Master Ren’ will do just fine. What shall I call you?”  
         Mitaka parts his lips and briefly sucks at the tip of Ren’s thumb through the glove. “Dopheld. Or slut, whore, or bitch.” After a quick smile, he returns to mouthing the finger.  
         The knight gasps and presses his thumb further into Mitaka’s mouth. The lieutenant’s tongue swirls around it. “Greedy little thing, aren’t you?” Ren observes. Mitaka nods. “Well, then. Get on your knees for me.”  
         “Gladly, Lord Ren.” Without another word, he sinks to the floor and tries to figure out how Ren’s robes come apart. This part is much easier with other service members, but at least he doesn’t have to think about potential charges of fraternisation. The knight ends up pulling the heavyweight cloth over his head, ridding himself of several layers before he’s standing in a sleeveless undershirt and leggings. Mitaka sighs at the bulge in front of him, then licks his lips and undoes the single button. The leggings come down, followed by the briefs below. “Oh. Wow.” He’s tempted to make a comment like,  _No wonder you’ve never had the same person twice—they were all too sore afterwards._  Instead he reaches up and cups the man’s balls, then leans in for a suckle at the head. Ren’s dick twitches as it hardens in earnest.  
         A low growl escapes the knight’s throat as Mitaka licks up and down his straightening length. “Quit playing around and suck it,” he orders.  
         If his mouth weren’t full, Mitaka would compliment Ren on his orders. He certainly seems to be growing comfortable with his new role; perhaps he just hasn’t had the right opportunity to explore it. Until now. Mitaka works him over thoroughly, jerking him lightly as he bobs his head. A hand comes to rest on his head, and the lieutenant takes him deeper. A quiet hiss of satisfaction follows.  
         “I want to hold you down.”  
         — _Do it_ , Mitaka thinks.  
         “Alright, then.”  
         The lieutenant realises that Ren has read his mind. This is strangely comforting in this situation, as it means he can use his safewords even when he can’t speak. But he doesn’t have much time to appreciate this development, because Ren is grabbing his head with both hands and forcing him down quickly. He splutters. Ren pauses.  
         — _Keep going_ , he insists.  
         Ren shoves him down until he hits the back of Mitaka’s throat. The lieutenant gags, expelling saliva from the sides of his mouth, but he doesn’t attempt to back off or break free. “Oh, fuck,” Kylo drawls. “This is the best head I’ve ever received.”  
         — _Just wait until you have me over the edge of the bed. Then you can fuck my throat properly._  
         Lord Ren moans at the image. He bounces Mitaka’s head some more, then pulls him off. The lieutenant looks up, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. “What a good little cocksucker,” Ren murmurs, a smile playing on his lips. He’s probably never had anyone to say this sort of thing to, and he looks like he’s appreciating it now.  
         “Thank you, My Lord.” Mitaka’s voice is a bit hoarse. He coughs to clear his throat.  
         “Now I’d like to fuck you.” Ren holds his palms out to help the man off the floor. He points him towards the bedroom and swats the seat of his trousers to get him moving in the right direction.  
         Dopheld Mitaka is floored by the sight of Lord Ren’s bed. It must be thrice the size of his own, and the comforter and pillows are most definitely not regulation issue. He starts undressing while Kylo folds down the duvet to reveal the sheets, which appear to be some type of silk. Then he comes over to where Mitaka is standing, puts a hand under his chin, lifts his face, and kisses him.  
         The lieutenant isn’t expecting this. Many of his partners never kissed him at all, and those who did were rarely gentle about it. Kylo Ren is something else—insistent but sweet. Playfully, he swipes the tip of his tongue over Mitaka’s lips, then eases between them.  
         “Mm,” Dopheld hums into Ren’s mouth, remembering why people enjoy kissing in the first place. It’s making him ache for more.  
         Finally, the knight breaks away to lie down on the bed. “Join me,” he says, patting the mattress beside him. Rather timidly, Mitaka sits next to Ren. He reaches over to pull the knight’s undershirt over his head and—  
         “Oh, my,” he whispers at the sight of Ren’s chest. So wide, so masculine. He feels very small in comparison. “You’re stunning.”  
         “Thank you. I’d like to see you as well.”  
         Mitaka frowns, but he removes his own undershirt. Glancing at Ren’s face shyly, he shrugs.  _Here I am, for what it’s worth._  He’s always been slight, even though he continues regular resistance work. At best, he could pass for a swimmer. Kylo Ren, on the other hand, looks like an artist’s anatomy model. Underneath his full-body robes, he’s all angular lines of defined musculature.  
         Ren pulls Mitaka on top of him. As though sensing the man’s concerns about body image, he kisses his forehead and whispers, “Such a pretty boy.”  
         The lieutenant’s eyes widen at the unexpected compliment. Ren trails a fingertip across his collarbone, then takes a detour towards a nipple. He pinches it lightly between thumb and forefinger. Mitaka bites his lower lip. “More, please, sir,” he asks quietly.  
         “Of course.” With that, both of Ren’s hands are on his chest, each twisting a nipple. Mitaka squirms and can’t help but rut against him. “You must like this,” Kylo observes. He flicks at the reddening nubs. “Now take those pants off if you want me to fuck you.”  
         Mitaka’s hands dart to his buckle, whipping it off and tossing it to the floor.  
         Kylo chuckles. “So eager.” He reaches around Mitaka’s hips and helps pull his trousers down. Then he hooks his fingers inside the waistband and yanks his briefs past his ass. Gripping it in both broad hands, he squeezes. “Nice. Now turn around and show me.”  
         Standing up briefly to remove what little remains of his uniform, Mitaka returns to the bed, back toward Kylo, straddling his outstretched legs. He bends over and hears the knight breathe out in quiet admiration.  
         “That’s lovely. What happens now?” He could guess, but he wants to hear Mitaka say it. Tonight is all about the lieutenant demonstrating what he wants. It’s an evening for Kylo Ren to learn to please him… and obviously be pleasured himself in the process.  
         — _Fuck me._  
         Like a schoolteacher, Ren instructs, “Use your words, Lieutenant.” Unlike a teacher, he’s currently massaging the man’s buttocks.  
         Mitaka sighs in frustration. “Get the lube and finger me open. The put me in whatever position you want and take me.”  
         A drawer of the bedside table opens on its own accord and a bottle levitates toward them. Dopheld hears the cap open, a moment passes, and then there’s a hand spreading his cheeks and a wet fingertip against him. Savouring the moment of anticipation, he still begs, “Please, sir.” The first finger slides in easily. The next takes only slightly more effort. Mitaka places his palms against the mattress and pushes back, helping Kylo in his ministrations.  
         “Good boy. Do you need another?”  
         Honestly, Mitaka probably isn’t physically ready but he nods anyway. The third digit is indeed an intrusion, but he moans at the burn. “Thank you, My Lord.” He remembers how he used to feel shy about this, but his reservations have long since been fucked out of him. Mitaka fully accepts that he enjoys the discomfort along with the pleasure, and he’s no longer squeamish about it.  
         “Of course. I’m loving watching this.”  
         “Master Ren, I’m ready for you.”  
         The hand leaves his ass-cheek and Mitaka listens to Ren lube himself up. “Turn around, pretty boy.”  
         The lieutenant complies, hoping the fingers will remain inside him while he moves. Unfortunately, Ren decides to slip them out in the meantime. Mitaka whimpers. “How do you want me, My Lord?”  
         Ren cocks his head and pats his lap. “Ride me for a while.”  
         Using both his hands, Mitaka spreads his ass while he eases down onto Ren. The knight’s eyes widen in surprise at his speed. “Fucking hells, Dopheld.”  
         The lieutenant smiles, knowing he’s more than adept at this and guessing that Ren’s never had someone take him in this smoothly or quickly. Because Mitaka will only pause when there’s no pleasure mixed with the pain. Stilling for a short moment after he hits bottom, he slowly begins rolling his hips. Ren throws his head back and moans, a beautiful, feral noise. “Oh fuck. You were right.”  
         “My Lord?”  
         “This is so much better bare. Gods, your ass is so fucking hot. Tight. Perfect. Thank you.”           
         The lieutenant frowns. This isn’t how Ren ought to be talking to him, even though he’s glad the knight is enjoying his body.  
         Ren looks into his eyes, reading the disappointment. “Sorry. What should I say?” He strokes Mitaka’s cheek with a few fingertips, surveying his surface thoughts. “Ah. Go on and ride me like the whore you are.”  
         Good. Mitaka speeds up and Ren drops his hand so he can grip him by both thighs.  
         “There’s a good slut.” He enjoys the pace for a while before slapping the lieutenant’s ass in encouragement. “Harder, you little bitch. Fuck yourself on me.”  
         Mitaka bites down hard on his lip in concentration as he rocks steadily against Ren. The knight is the largest man he’s had in a while, just this side of too big. It’s perfect. “My Lord,” he pants.  
         “You like it? Having my bare dick shoved up inside you?”  
         “Yes, My Lord,” he enthuses. “So deep.”  
         “You’ve got a lovely ass. I’m going to have to pound you into the mattress soon.”  
         “Yes, Lord Ren. Please. Take what you want.”  
         “I will, you filthy whore. And you’ll love it.”  
         Mitaka nods energetically and begins bouncing. Ren holds him by the waist, helping him rise and fall. Soon the lieutenant places a hand over one of his and brings it up to his neck. “Please, My Lord.”  
         “Please what?” Ren honestly isn’t sure what to do, although he has the feeling he should instinctively know. Mitaka has him feeling a bit of a beginner. He’s never witnessed this sort of confidence in bed, and wouldn’t have guessed the young, nervous officer had it in him.  
         The lieutenant clarifies in an eager voice. “Choke me, Master Ren.”  
         Lord Ren breathes in and obliges. It’s really just a squeeze, but Mitaka’s eyelids fall shut and his lips part. “Good?”  
         Nodding minutely, Mitaka begs, “Harder, please.”  
         Ren’s brow furrows for a short moment before he remembers just how hard the lieutenant can take it. His grip clamps down and Mitaka’s whole body shudders. He wonders if the man can climax like this. “Don’t come yet,” he orders, just in case the answer is yes. Mitaka shakes his head.  
         — _I won’t. Not until you tell me to._  
         Not for the first time tonight, Kylo is surprised. “You’ll require permission?”  
         — _Yes. I need to please you more than anything._  
         Lord Ren nods. “In that case, I want you from behind.” They reposition themselves, Mitaka getting down on his elbows and knees, presenting himself obscenely. Ren smacks his ass a few times with his hands, watching it redden in response. He can feel Mitaka’s enjoyment, and although this rather astonishes him, it gives him pleasure as well. Pouring additional lubricant into a cupped palm, he wets Mitaka’s hole again. And then he breaches him from behind, faster and more deeply than before. The lieutenant’s back shivers and he moans.  
         “Good boy. Going to fuck you hard now.”  
         “Yes, please—oh, fucking… yes.”  
         Kylo smiles at Mitaka’s first obscenity of the evening, then slams his hips forward again and again. He’s pretty sure he’s never gone this roughly with anyone. He’s never been asked to and he’s always been cautious because of his size. But he monitors Mitaka’s thoughts.  
          _Yes. So deep. He’s so fucking deep. I’m getting fucked by Lord Kylo Ren. So good already. And he’ll only get better. I can coach him, he’ll be such a good dom. Yes._  
         And then a bright bloom of raw pleasure as the knight drags against his prostate. “Oh holy fucking hells, Master Ren, yes.”  
         “Right there?”  
         “Yes, My Lord.” Mitaka’s thoughts about training Ren fade as the man continues to pound into him, their balls slapping together.  _Is it good for him? Anywhere near as good as I feel?_  
         “Yes, Dopheld.” He waits for a cue to elaborate, then goes ahead and does so anyway. “You’re so good. Your sweet ass and your filthy thoughts. Such a dirty thing. I love it. Love it. You’re getting me very close.”  
         “Please choke me again.” Obligingly, Ren reaches out with the Force—but Mitaka shakes his head. “No, My Lord. With your hand.” Mentally shrugging at the specificity, Kylo wraps his fingers around Mitaka’s throat and squeezes. Harder than before. He listens as the lieutenant’s breaths become harsh, dragging through his constricted windpipe.  
         “Like that?” he growls into Mitaka’s ear. All the man can do is nod. “Good. I’m going to come soon.” Realising the lieutenant is waiting for express permission to please himself, he clarifies. “Touch yourself now. I want you to come when I do.”  
         — _Thank you, sir. Please give me your load. I need to feel it._  
         “Oh,” Ren remarks aloud. “You want it in you?” He hadn’t thought this far ahead; he’d just heard  _bare_ , shared his clearance, and jumped at the opportunity.  
         — _Yes, yes._  
         Mitaka’s insistence has him crashing toward climax. He loosens his grip on the lieutenant’s throat, giving him a respite before tightening it again. “Come for me, Dopheld.”  
         — _Yes, My Lord. Fill me up._  
         Groaning at the request, Kylo begins to do just that, spurting deep and copiously. Vaguely he becomes aware that Mitaka is in the throes of his own orgasm, shuddering against the knight.

 

They lay apart beside each other on the cool sheets.  
         “That…” Ren declares, “was incredible.”  
         “Thank you, sir. I certainly enjoyed it.”  
         The knight sits up and glances over at Mitaka, now curled onto his side. He can see the wet shine of his ejaculate between the man’s cheeks. “Oh,” he realizes. “I’ll be right back.” He leaves briefly and returns with a damp cloth. “I’m sorry, I’ve never had to think of clean-up before.”  
         “It’s quite alright. Thank you.” Mitaka reaches over to take the cloth without sitting up. He’s exhausted, but knows from experience it won’t last long. Lazily, he wipes himself off, starting with the evidence of his own release drying on his stomach. “It’s worth the mess.”  
         Ren lies back down, chest pressed to Mitaka’s back. “I’d like to do this again,” he murmurs, trailing two fingertips down Mitaka’s sweaty, bare spine.  
         “Please.”  
         “Earlier, you asked about toys. Do you have any?” he asks.  
         “Of course.”  
         “What sort?”  
         Dopheld turns around so he can look Kylo in the face while going through his list. “Handcuffs, blindfold. Gags. Spreader bar. Collar and leash. Riding crop. Flogger. Nipple clamps. Anal plugs and beads. And a ridiculous amount of lubricant to go along with all that.”  
         “Well, now. You really are a filthy thing, aren’t you?”  
         A shrug. “I’ve learned what I like, and that I’m more likely to receive it if I’m prepared.”  
         “Bring everything with you next time. I want to learn how to use it all.”  
         “That’ll take more than one night,” Mitaka points out.  
         “Good.” Kylo Ren wants it to take  _months_.


	3. III

Ren slings the equipment bag onto the bed as though it weighed less than a kilogram. It has Dopheld Mitaka wondering just hold easily the knight could pick him up and carry him around. Maybe hold him against a wall. Shaking his head, he returns to the moment, where Ren is unzipping the bag and pulling items out of it one at a time.  
         The knight holds the largest item up for inspection. “What is this?”  
         “It’s a spreader bar.”  
         “What does it do?”  
         “It’s for holding a partner’s legs open.” Mitaka lets the rest of sentence remain an unspoken thought:  _So you can do as you please._  He hopes the Force-user can hear it.  
         Kylo Ren nods in approval. “I think I can deduce the purpose of everything else in here. But I’ve never used any of them.” Reflecting for a moment, he concludes, “I believe I could mimic all of this using the Force.”  
         Mitaka smiles. “I’m sure you could, at least in theory. But wouldn’t you need to know what they’re supposed to feel like first?” A brief nod. “Also, there’s something powerful about their actual physicality. Take the collar, for instance. It technically does nothing by itself. The effect comes from its symbolism.”  
         “Which is?”  
         “It’s a mark of being owned, at least temporarily.”  
         “And you enjoy that?” The knight has spent most of his time as a conscious being trying to become his own person. What Mitaka is talking about, a willing concession of power, boggles his mind.  
         “Oh, I love it. Were I ever to marry, I’d prefer receiving a collar to an engagement ring.”  
         Kylo looks at this strange man contemplatively, then waves at some of the implements laid out on the bed. “Are you a masochist?”  
         “A bit,” he admits.  
         “I’m not sure if I want to hurt you. Probably not much, at any rate.”  
         “I’ll want it, sir.”  
         “But I…” he trails off, looking deeply concerned.  
         “Tell me something, Lord Ren. In your time as a knight, you’ve hurt a great deal of people, haven’t you?” A deep nod. “So you’re not squeamish about violence.”  
         “But unlike them, you don’t deserve it.”  
         Mitaka’s eyes narrow. “I don’t deserve to receive what I want?”  
         Kylo Ren realizes he’s coming perilously close to insulting the lieutenant. “No, not that. Just… I can give you control. Hold you down. Screw your brains out. I understand that. What I don’t understand…”  
         “Is that I often want a certain amount of pain to go along with it.”  
         “Yes.”  
         “I suppose I’m just wired that way. It isn’t as though I enjoy all pain, far from it. I mean, I don’t get aroused when I stub a toe. But with a partner, it’s all very different. When I’m turned on, pain doesn’t really register the same way. It’s just a different type of intense stimulation.”  
         “Oh. Would you mind if I read you—not deeply, that is, just surface reactions—at least the first time?”  
         “If it will help you trust me, go ahead.”

 

Kylo slaps Mitaka’s face. The contact makes a satisfying crack, and the knight thinks he did well, but he checks in on the lieutenant.  
         — _Decent start. You can do better._  
         This wakes something inside him, some competitive streak that doesn’t want to let people down, and when his hand returns the impact is stronger than he intended. Pink blooms on Mitaka’s cheek. The man feels the sting—how could he not? But he mostly responds with a light-headed warmth. “Thank you, sir,” he whispers.  
         And the knight feels a swell of pride at fulfilling Mitaka’s request. “I’d like to keep going.”  
         Mitaka lowers his eyes demurely and nods. Kylo slaps him several more times, feeling the heady rush of the lieutenant’s arousal mix with his own.  
         “What now, Dopheld?”  
         “Whatever you’d like that’s on the list, My Lord.”  
         There are so many items on their list, Kylo has no idea where to start. He blinks as he considers, feeling Mitaka’s growing anticipation of his choice. “I think I’d like to open you up with a few toys,” he decides. “So strip. And show off a little.”  
         This is something Mitaka doesn’t do particularly well. He usually just shucks his uniform off in an eager hurry to get on with the more enjoyable activities of the night. But he tries to comply with Ren’s wishes, taking his time undoing the clasps, maintaining eye contact the entire time. The knight looks… well,  _fascinated_  with him, and he doesn’t understand but he attempts to enjoy it. All the attention leaves him flushed by the time he’s naked.  
         “Good job. Up on the bed, pretty boy.”  
         At first Mitaka had almost begged Ren to replace those words with something more insulting, but he’s come to respond favourably. The knight will degrade him later, when he’s buried inside and screwing the holy hell out of him. Until then, Dopheld will make do with being pretty. Now, he leans forward on his elbows, presenting his willing ass to the knight.  
         Kylo Ren lets out a low whistle. “I’m going for supplies.” Of course, he could bring them over to the bed without moving, but he hasn’t yet decided what exactly he’s going to insert into the man. Thus he stands, heads to the desk, and rummages through Mitaka’s duffel bag. Immediately he selects a plug, but that will be for later. Right now, he needs to find something to bugger the lieutenant with, something large enough to be satisfying without Kylo having to worry about causing too much discomfort. He settles for a moderate-sized toy with an intriguing shape.  
         “Hands against the wall, Lieutenant.”  
         Mitaka doesn’t even glance his way, just braces his palms against the durasteel and waits patiently. Kylo has also brought the pump jar of lube over, and he’s spreading it onto the selected item as well as over his fingers. Using the Force to pull apart Mitaka’s cheeks, he places the tip of the instrument against him and pops it just inside.  
         The lieutenant hisses. At this point he has no idea what precisely is being eased inside him. Kylo pushes and the first rounded segment slips in. Mitaka grunts in concentration. The knight massages his lower back. “Good boy,” he soothes. “Such a sweet little slut.” He pushes the next widened portion inside, and Mitaka moans.  
         “Thank you, My Lord.”  
         “You’re quite welcome. Now relax. The next bit is rather wider.”  
         The lieutenant whimpers as Kylo works it up past the third flare.  
         “Take it like a whore and I’ll feed you my dick when it’s all in.”  
         “Oh yes, thank you, sir. I swear I can take it.”  
         “I know you can. Just two more now. But first,” he stops speaking as he begins pulling the implement out and thrusting it back in repeatedly. In response, Dopheld Mitaka pants quietly. “How’s that?” Ren asks him. “Colour?”  
         “Green. Oh, fuck. Green.”  
         He knows he’s doing things properly when Mitaka curses like this. “Good. You're doing so well. Ready for the next one?” Mitaka just nods and tries to relax, but the rest of the toy has him shouting while his legs tremble beneath him. Kylo rubs a cheek with one broad hand. “Good boy. Good boy. And now that you’re open, I’d like to keep you that way while you blow me.” Painstakingly, he slides the toy out and replaces it with the slicked plug. “Over the edge of the bed now.”  
         Mitaka turns around, sweat shining on his brow. He moves to reposition himself. Kylo stands up and lets his leggings fall to the floor. “Like this?” he asks, half-hard cock dangling over Mitaka’s face. The lieutenant nods and opens his mouth.  
         The knight eases in. “Gods, you filthy fucking cock-slut.”  
         Dopheld moans in agreement, but projects a directive towards his partner:  _More. All the way in._  
         “If you insist.” Kylo tilts his hips and gasps as he slides down past Mitaka’s mouth. “Oh fuck. I can see you swallowing my cock,” he moans, lightly placing a hand over the lieutenant’s neck. “I can watch it fill your throat… fuck.” He throws his head back, then something occurs to him. “How can you breathe?”  
         — _Can’t, really._  
         He goes in for a few more thrusts, then asks, “Colour?”  
          _—Yellow._  
         Kylo pulls out and Mitaka splutters as he gasps for air. The knight pets his hair. “I think I need to replace that plug with my cock now.” He helps the lieutenant up as the man continues to cough to clear his throat. “You actually like that?”  _Or are you just that eager to satisfy people?_  
         Mitaka nods. “Yes, sir. And it always seems to please.”  
         “It was fucking amazing, Dopheld.” He files a note away for later review: Dopheld Mitaka has never been on the receiving end of that activity. Someday, if all goes well, he wants the lieutenant to know what it feels like.  
         Dopheld smiles. “Please fuck me now?” he asks hopefully. “The plug isn’t enough.”  
         Kylo caresses Mitaka’s cheek. “I love how you know exactly what you want.” He leans down to kiss him. “And how sweetly you ask for it. Now lie down on your back.”  
         Mitaka smiles up at him, watching as Kylo applies lubricant to himself. Then he’s pulling the lieutenant’s legs apart and slowly easing the plug out. Mitaka hisses, but Kylo immediately works to fill the void with his own body. “Thank you, thank you, oh Maker.”  
         “Of course, Dopheld.” Reviewing the lieutenant’s desires, he adds, “Now I’m going to take you like the dirty whore you are.” He’s getting accustomed to saying things like this, and he’s really starting to enjoy it. Especially since Dopheld moans every single time. Because Kylo’s just doing it to please him, he’s not a sadist. Probably. Although now he’s ramming the lieutenant with everything he has, and he can feel small sparks of pain coming from the man below him. And he’s not stopping. Instead he’s keeping up his pace and depth, and he’s talking absolute filth into Dopheld’s ear. “Cheap fucking slut.” He grabs Mitaka’s wrists and pins them to the mattress. “Want me to take what I want? Because I will. Gonna pound your bitch hole ‘til I’m ready to fill it up. And when I do, you’ll love it. And you know why?”  
         Mitaka looks up at him, eager to answer properly. “Why, sir?” he pants, having difficulty putting words together.  
         “You know what you are. So, why don’t you tell me?”  
         “A filthy… fucking… slut, My Lord.”  
         “That’s right. Fuck, that’s right. And you feel so kriffing good. Take it, take it.”  
         “Fuck!” Mitaka shouts as Kylo drags against his prostate. “Right there! Please give it to me, Master Ren!”  
         And he does; he gives the lieutenant everything he’s got. He spends deep and long; it’s better than he remembered.  
         _We’re getting good at this_ , he thinks before he reaches down to bring Mitaka off.


	4. Ren's Handiwork

They’re back to asking each other questions and comparing notes over drinks. Although this time, they’re starting in Kylo’s quarters, since they know that’s where the evening will end up. Still, Mitaka would be hard pressed to call this a date.  
         “How many men have you been with?” Kylo asks.  
         “Full-on sex or anything?”  
         The knight considers this. “Full sex.”  
         Mitaka is glad Ren chose that question, because he isn’t sure he’d be able to add up all the men he’s blown. The last few times he tried he came up with vastly different numbers each time. (It’s difficult to keep the nameless ones from blending together, as there are only so many ways to say _Tallish man in cantina when I was somewhat-to-very plastered on shore leave_.) “Thirty two. You?”  
         “Seven. And you’ve never topped and I’ve never bottomed. Hm.” The knight recalls the vague way Mitaka had spoken about a particular topic, and he has to ask. “Have you ever received oral?”  
         “Yes.” The lieutenant blushes a little. “Though isn’t my favourite act. Tends to make me self-conscious. Have you ever performed it?”  
         “Yes, but I don’t think I’m very good at it. So I suppose that balances out. Have you ever been in love?”  
         Mitaka barks out a derisive laugh at the unexpected question. “No. Not really.” He’d been quite fond of his boyfriend at Arkanis, but luckily it hadn’t tipped over into love. Especially considering the way things panned out. “Have you?”  
         “I thought so once,” Ren says, staring into the middle distance. “But I was very young and foolish.”  
         “How old were you?”  
         “Thirteen.”  
         “What happened?” Mitaka imagines the other boy moving away, switching schools.  
         “He died.” Kylo glances away. “He died because I killed him.”  
         Dopheld spits back into his drink. “What?” _Alright_ , he tells himself, _it might have been an accident_. Then he remembers whom he’s talking to.  
         “I was shipped away to the Jedi Academy when I was ten. I lived there full time, year-round with the other students. But the entire situation was… untenable. Snoke helped me understand that. It became clear that I had to fully break with the system I was brought up in. To realise my potential.”  
         Very carefully, Dopheld takes a small sip and swallows it. “So…”  
         “So, once I built my own sabre and learned to use it, I cut them down. All the teachers but one and all my fellow students.”  
         “Including him.”  
         “Yes. By that point I understood it wasn’t love. Just an infatuation that had run its course.” Unbidden, the boy’s face appears in his mind. It hasn’t faded over the years at all. “I killed him last.”  
         “Oh.” This is all Mitaka can manage. He really has no grasp of how the training of Force-sensitive children works. From what he’s heard of the Jedi, though, he’s unsurprised that their organisation was a poor fit for Kylo. All that self-denial and emotional restraint. “I’m sorry, I suppose.” He’s only sorry to the extent that it upset (and continues to upset) Kylo.  
         “I had to do it.” The knight stares at his bare hands, turning them over repeatedly as though examining them for blood. “But that didn’t make it any easier. They say the first kill is the one you’ll always remember, the one that will haunt you. That isn’t the case for me. Everyone else’s death was simple. Then there was him.” He finishes his drink and sets the glass down. “Have you ever taken a sentient life, Dopheld?”  
         Mitaka bites his lip and stares into his own, now mostly empty glass. “Yes.” It isn’t something he likes to admit, or even think about—although he doesn’t have much control over when his memories decide to barrage him.  
         Kylo shoots him a glance. “Really?”  
         Dopheld knocks back the remainder of his drink. “You didn’t read it?”  
         “No. I don’t probe like that. Not unless I’m given permission, or it’s for an interrogation. So I had no idea.”  
         The lieutenant sighs quietly. Briefly he remembers why he’s not supposed to drink alcohol in the first place. Because beyond the recommendations of medical providers, he knows why this is dangerous. It loosens his tongue, relaxes his mind, makes him more likely to admit things he doesn’t even allow himself to think when sober. “You’re surprised. I understand. I know everyone sees me as unassuming and deferential. But I was first in my class at Arkanis.”  
         “Where General Hux went.”  
         “Yes, although our education didn’t overlap. You know what they say about Arkanis Academy?” Kylo shakes his head. “It’s where the First Order makes highly functioning sociopaths.”  
         “Whom did you kill? Another cadet?”  
         “Another four cadets, Lord Ren.” He watches the knight’s mouth open and shut uselessly at this information. “One was self-defence,” he explains. “The others were… in my way.” He shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t enjoy it. But I did it. That’s the way the galaxy works sometimes.”  
         “You continue to surprise me, Lieutenant.”

  
Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t take them long to move to the bedroom. Once there, Mitaka breaks off their kiss to inquire, “Which toy would you like to learn to use tonight, My Lord?”  
         Kylo’s palms feel warm and damp just thinking about it, his heart racing a little uncomfortably. It feels astonishingly similar to the first time he asked a boy if he could fuck him. “I want to try hitting you with something.” His fingers twitch toward the flogger.  
         Mitaka coughs politely and shakes his head. “Not a good starting place.” He reaches for his buckle. “Use my belt.”  
         “Are all submissives this confident?”  
         “No,” Mitaka says simply, pressing the belt into Ren’s outstretched hands. “Hold it by the buckle end unless you want me to come far too soon.”  
         The knight just shakes his head in disbelief at the things that get this man off. “Will it leave marks?”  
         “If you do it right.” With that, he opens the fasteners on his tunic and steps out of his uniform before stretching out on the bed, stomach down, smiling in anticipation. After their earlier conversation, he’s looking forward to a good deal of physical pain to distract him.  
         “Where should I… belt you?”  
         “Anywhere you please, My Lord.”  
         “Very well.” Kylo breathes deeply, gathering his courage. His concern isn’t about his own enjoyment—after all, he’s imagined this sort of thing for some time, even jerked off to porn depicting it. No, he’s just hoping he won’t disappoint Mitaka. The lieutenant knows precisely what he wants, and if Kylo can’t deliver… Well, he’s sure the man will go elsewhere. As he’s already disclosed, Mitaka is the first person he’s had sex with on more than one occasion, and he doesn’t want to fuck things up this early (or at all, in fact).  
         Mitaka clears his throat pointedly. “In your own time,” he prompts, a touch obnoxiously.  
         Conveniently, this motivates Kylo to hit him. So he reels his arm over his head and lets the belt strap fall across Mitaka’s back. The prone man lets out a short yelp and his shoulders twitch. Ren lands a few more solid blows before taking a break. In the meantime, he watches as blood rushes to the surface of Mitaka’s skin, displaying a map of previous impacts.  
         “Colour, Lieutenant?”  
         “Green, My Lord.” _Kriff, you’ve barely gotten started_.  
         The next lashes are brutal because now Ren has something to prove. He’s surprised by the noises Mitaka makes—not protests or shouts, but rather moans. It’s hard to read the man’s reaction from sounds alone, so Ren checks in on his mind. It feels… warm, welcoming. On edge but not anxiously so, more in anticipation than anything else. And there’s the unmistakable growing lust underneath it all.  
          _Fine_ , he decides. He can work with this. So he puts his back and shoulders into it. Eventually the lieutenant begins writhing on the bed, finally whimpering albeit quietly. One more crack of the belt, and Mitaka sounds like he’s weeping. Kylo waits to see if he says _Yellow_ , because something is telling him that the lieutenant is considering it. But only silence follows, beside the man’s panting and whines.  
         In the quiet, Ren realises he’s fully aroused. He decides to let the belt drop to the floor and come around to the side of the bed. He strokes Mitaka’s sweat-damp hair. Softly, he says, “I want you to get me off now.”  
         A smile breaks out across the man’s face, seeming to snap him out of some sort of reverie. A wet shine on his cheeks shows the man had in fact been crying. “Of course, Master Ren.” He shifts to sit up. “How would you like it?”  
         “Your mouth.” Ren has Mitaka kneel in the corner of the room and stands over him. The knight folds his arms around the back of the lieutenant’s head and holds him close. “Be good for me and take it all,” he instructs quietly, knowing Mitaka will. “There you go. You’re going to make me come so fucking hard. But when you do, don’t swallow. Just hold it in your mouth. Understood?”  
         — _Yes, Master Ren._  
         Ren clasps him by the hair and shoves his face down and pulls it back. “Love fucking your whore throat,” he growls. “Now touch yourself. And come into your hand.”  
         Mitaka obliges, beating himself off furiously while Kylo takes his pleasure from his mouth. When the knight feels the lieutenant begin to tremble, he pulls his cock out, leans over, and wraps a hand around Mitaka’s bare throat. “Come for me, my filthy little slut. Do it and then I’ll fill your mouth.”  
         As Dopheld catches his release in his palm, he stares up into Ren’s eyes and whispers, “Thank you, sir.”  
         “Open up, now. Stick your tongue out.” Kylo slaps the head of his cock onto the flat of Mitaka’s tongue a few times before squeezing his load out. “Gods, fuck,” he groans hoarsely, trying not to shoot too deeply.  
         High on his orgasm, Mitaka waits for his next instructions. Ren joins him on the floor, takes the wrist of the lieutenant’s soiled hand in his own, and brings it to his lips. Mitaka’s breath hitches as he guesses what the knight is about to do. With a quiet slurp, Kylo Ren sucks Mitaka’s ejaculate into his mouth and leans in for a kiss.  
         Mitaka runs his fingers through Ren’s hair as their tongues tumble into each other’s mouths, swapping fluids and tasting their own. It’s the filthiest make-out session Dopheld has ever partaken in. He doesn’t want it to ever stop, but eventually it has to. They both need to get some rest. For some reason, earlier in the evening Ren asked Mitaka to spend the night, and for another unexamined reason the lieutenant had agreed.  
         After moving to the bed, Ren spoons him, one arm thrown over him to curl against his chest. “You were so good for me tonight. Thank you.” The knight makes a trail of kisses across Mitaka’s jaw. “How did I do?” he asks, now nuzzling an earlobe.  
         “Quite well.” More than anything right now, the lieutenant is impressed with Ren’s skilled aftercare. Even to himself, Dopheld has trouble admitting that he needs this. So it’s a relief when a partner provides it without prompting. And Kylo Ren is a natural cuddler, which makes this very easy indeed.  
         “Did I go too hard with the belt?” When Mitaka shakes his head emphatically, Ren decides to question it. “Because it seemed to me that you were about to say _Yellow_.”  
         “Ah. Well, yes. But that would have been for your sake.”  
         “How so?”  
         Mitaka’s answer is cryptic. “You’ll understand tomorrow.” As comfortable as he is physically, Dopheld does not permit himself to fall asleep for several hours. At least lying awake is more pleasant here, with Ren’s body against his. Of course, he’d be more willing to risk sleep if he were alone.

 

When the alarm bleeps, Mitaka switches it off and checks his bio-monitor. A grand total of three hours, twenty two minutes of sleep. Restless forty-one times. He shrugs; it’s better than many nights spent alone.  
         Mitaka isn’t sure how to adapt his morning routine to Ren’s quarters, but he takes a quick shower, throws on fresh briefs and uniform slacks, and heads to the kitchenette for a mug of caf. At this point, he should probably inquire about a continuous caffeine pump, the way some diabetics require insulin. Taking slow sips of the scalding liquid, he returns to the bedroom where he expects to find Ren still fast asleep.  
         The knight is awake but lounging uselessly on the bed, looking obnoxiously comfortable. A slow smile spreads across his face when he sees Dopheld.  
         “Morning,” the lieutenant offers.  
         “Good morning. You look great with just the pants on. I’m sure the crew will understand if you say you lost your tunic in a sabacc game last night.”  
         Dopheld rolls his eyes. “I have more than one tunic, Ren.” He sets the mug down and turns to finish dressing. Ren stretches lazily, apparently taking full advantage of the fact that he has nowhere to be this morning.  
         Mitaka lets out a low hiss as his undershirt hits his shoulders.  
         When Ren turns his head to ask what the matter is, the question dries up on his lips. He can see for himself—a crisscrossing mesh of red welts and fresh bruises. “Fuck,” he states eloquently.  
         The lieutenant looks at him and flashes a quick smile. “Admiring your handiwork, Lord Ren?”  
         He stammers. “I—I must have bacta patches in the cabinet.” He stands and moves towards the fresher, adding, “I don’t know if they’re large enough.”  
         Waving to decline the offer, Mitaka says, “No thanks. It’ll clear up in a few days. In the meantime, I like having the reminder.”  
         “Are you sure? What if someone sees that?”  
         “I’ll make sure no one does.” Dopheld Mitaka is nothing if not discreet.  
         “What if you went swimming? Or had a medical appointment?” For a frightening moment he imagines a nurse asking Mitaka about domestic abuse and not believing his response.  
         “Then I’d take you up on the patches. Believe me, I know how many people would find this horrifying.” Fastening up his tunic, he assays Ren’s expression. “Tell me honestly, does it horrify you?”  
         Gravely, the knight shakes his head. “No. As a matter of fact…” He glances away. “I think it’s rather pretty. The evidence of my power on your body.”  
         Mitaka’s face brightens up. He’d been afraid Kylo Ren might be having moral qualms. “I’m glad you feel that way.” Checking his chrono, he downs the rest of the caf. “Later,” he suggests, and takes his leave.  
         Lord Ren briefly considers jerking off, but instead he decides to immediately return to sleep.


	5. What We Are/What You Saw

“Are we together?” Ren asks in a hushed voice, stealing a sidelong glance at Mitaka. They’re seated next to each other on the knight’s couch. It’s after dinner but they haven’t yet made their way to the bedroom. Something has made them pause here instead.  
         “I… I don’t know. Would you… _like_ us to be?” Mitaka asks in return, hearing fear and strangled hope in his own stilted question.  
         “Ah. Perhaps. Would you?” Ren knows he’s passing the credit, but he isn’t ready to answer.  
         Dopheld shrugs noncommittally. He excels at non-commitment. “You brought it up,” he points out, not sounding particularly mature.  
         As if sensing his train of thought, Ren asks, “When was your last relationship?”  
         “You mean other than arrangements for purely sexual reasons?” Mitaka waits for the nod. “Arkanis,” he states. “Five years ago now.” Is that accurate? Has it been that long? Obviously he hasn’t spent much thought on it.  
         Ren’s brow creases. “What happened?”  
         “Frankly, Arkanis happened.” Noting Ren’s nonplussed expression, he continues. “He died. Probably murder. It usually was.” Keeping his sentences short helps him maintain distance. If he and Ren aren’t even dating, he certainly isn’t willing to lose control of his tear-ducts in front of him. And the lieutenant has become quite adept at keeping his old injuries walled off, at least during the day cycle. “How about you?”  
         “I haven’t had one. Except Torin.”  
         “When you were thirteen?”  
         “Yes.” Kylo is infinitely grateful that Mitaka hadn’t confirmed by asking, _The one you ran through with your sabre?_  
         The lieutenant sums up both their histories by saying, “So neither of us has the best track record.” Giving a drawn-out sigh, he swallows his fears into his stomach (where he can immediately feel them begin to threaten nausea) and adds, “But I’d like to try.”  
         Kylo’s pensive expression melts into one of open relief. “Oh, thank gods. Same.” He gathers Mitaka into his arms, squeezing him rather too tightly for comfort. But the lieutenant is more than a little masochistic, and thoroughly overwhelmed at the moment. “I want you to call me Kylo when we’re not playing.”  
         Mitaka gazes up at the dark eyes surveying him. “Of course. If you’d like, you can call me Phel.”

 

“Ren, where the bloody hell have you been?” Hux hisses through clenched teeth. “My job description does not involve tracking you down to make sure you show up for things.” He’s standing in the doorway of Ren’s quarters, gripping his tablet in one gloved hand. The screen is facing outwards, displaying the cycle’s schedule. “We had a project planning session which you informed me you would attend. I believe you said you wished to be _involved_ in these sorts of things. As it turns out, that meeting was today. Three hours ago.”  
         “I… apologize, General. I lost track of the time.”  
         Hux blinks, trying to come to terms with two unexpected pieces of information at once. First, the fact that anyone could lose track of three standard hours in the middle of the day cycle without being critically ill. Second, that Kylo Ren is apologising to him. “Care to explain what you’ve been up to? Don’t answer that, I’m sure you’re going to say you’ve been meditating.” Honestly, he’s beginning to suspect that Ren takes naps instead.  
         “I, well, to be perfectly honest,” the knight stalls.  
         “Kylo, did you see where I put my datapad down last night?” someone unseen asks from the room.  
         Hux starts. The voice is unmistakable. “Is that Lieutenant _Mitaka_? Here?” There’s no disguising the shock in his voice.  
         Ren’s eyes widen in panic. “No. No! Well.” A pause as he seems to accept the fruitlessness of his denial. “Yes. Yes, it is.”  
         The general places the toe of his boot inside the doorway, preventing Ren from attempting to shut it. “Tell me something, Lord Ren. You don’t happen to be working on a mutiny in there, do you?”  
         The knight shakes his head wildly. “Of course not!”  
         Hux frowns and decides to involve the third man. “Lieutenant!” the general calls out, and can almost feel Mitaka snap to attention at the sound of his voice. “Come to the door, please.”  
         Kylo can tell Dopheld is hesitating, so he waves him over.  
         Mitaka peers at Hux from behind Ren’s imposing frame. At least he’s clothed, although his tunic is hanging open to reveal his undershirt and his belt is probably resting on the nightstand. “Yes, General?”  
         “Care to explain precisely what you’re doing in Lord Ren’s rooms?”  
         “Ah. Well. That. You see. Is.”  
         “Preferably using words that have meaning,” the general prompts, his voice somewhere between gentle and stern.  
         The lieutenant turns an even brighter shade of red before launching into a panicked explanation. “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s only when I’m off duty and we don’t discuss anything of a military nature, sir, it’s really just recreational and I didn’t plan it at all but it isn’t technically fraternisation because he’s not in my official chain of command.”  
         Hux raises an eyebrow. He looks overwhelmed by Mitaka’s run-on sentence, but he takes it apart piece by piece to examine it. “Wait, fraternisation, you said?”  
         Dopheld Mitaka nods miserably and silently.  
         Slowly Hux puts it all together. “You two are… having sexual relations with one another?”  
         They both nod.  
         “Oh. I see. That’s… unexpected. And you’re sure there isn’t even the tiniest hint of a mutiny brewing?”  
         “None at all, sir.”  
         Hux shrugs. “Hm. Well, Lord Ren, I still expect to see you at this evening’s strategy briefing.”  
         “Of course, General.”  
         Once the door shuts, Kylo turns around to give Dopheld a look of chagrin. But the lieutenant is doubled over on the couch, head in hands, visibly trembling. “Dopheld?” Kylo asks quietly. He walks over a places a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”  
         “No, I am assuredly not alright,” Mitaka mumbles through his fingers. “What I am is on the verge of a bloody panic attack.”  
         Kylo sits beside him and runs his fingertips through the lieutenant’s hair soothingly. “It’s fine. You said yourself, it’s not really fraternisation.”  
         “I’m not sure that’s true, though!” Mitaka cries out, then leans into Kylo’s shoulder. He even headbutts the knight a little in frustration.  
         “Do you really think Hux is going to do anything about it?”  
         Mitaka worries his lower lip between his teeth. “I… have no idea.”  
         “Then perhaps you should speak with him privately.”  
         To that, Dopheld gives Kylo a look of fearful hopelessness.

 

Mitaka hasn’t slept in his own bed for the past five night cycles. He hasn’t slept much in Kylo’s bed, either, but he does awake feeling more rested than usual. It probably has something to do with the comforting warmth of having someone solid at his back, with an arm wrapped around his waist.  
         Now, he’s focussing on breathing steadily and trying not to worry about what General Hux may or may not think about his current situation. Kylo has already been asleep for over two hours, having passed out shortly after climax.  
          _Is it fraternisation?_  
         Technically, Kylo Ren operates in a grey area. He has no commission, but he is co-commander of the flagship, although he doesn’t have anything to do with the daily activities of the _Finalizer_ (other to get in Hux’s way and Force-choke the odd trooper or officer). It’s possible that Mitaka could be slapped with a warning for his involvement. The problem is that he isn’t sure what he would do in response.  
         Would he stay with Ren despite official censure? There are couples on board who’ve ignored those slaps on the wrist for years. Some have even gotten married, and at that point the reprimands generally cease. It would be terrible for morale if the Order demanded divorce in such cases. Working and living full-time in close proximity will undeniably lead to relationships, and the personnel department mostly focusses on curtailing abuse-of-station cases.   
         Is Mitaka serious enough about this to countenance demerits on his record? He isn’t certain he’s serious at all. Except…  
         Except he’s spent the past five nights here. Except they’ve decided they’re together, whatever that means.  
         Dopheld sighs heavily and flops onto his back, temporarily dislodging Kylo’s arm. It will all depend on Hux, his response and opinions. Considering the fact that the general has never been seen to have romantic or even sexual interest in anyone, Mitaka may be in trouble. Although, it’s possible that Hux is simply very good at being discreet, or that he’s concealing a less-than-socially-acceptable paraphilia. The lieutenant must be downright exhausted, because he finds himself chuckling as he scandalously imagines the general attracted to non-humans.  
         Mitaka smiles, turns to his side, nestles back against Kylo Ren. And falls asleep.

 

Arterial spray hits the rain-slick paving stones in a revolting patter. He releases his grip around the boy’s chest, allowing him to fall to his knees before collapsing forward.  
         He blinks at the blade of his knife, coated bright red.  
                   _I did this._  
_I did._  
_This._  
         He stares down at the blood pooling under Gildan’s body. And wakes with a scream.  
         “Phel. Phel. _Dopheld_.”  
         The words are insistent, pulling at the edges of Mitaka’s consciousness. He opens his eyes and blinks once, twice. It’s Kylo’s voice, but he’s confused. What is the knight doing here? Dopheld doesn’t know him yet. So how is he speaking?  
         “Breathe.”  
         The lieutenant leaves the bed to stand in the middle of the room, face in hands. Trying to remember when he is. Not Arkanis. Not anymore. Stuck somewhere in between.  
         “You had a nightmare.”  
         At Kylo’s words, Dopheld turns around. “Yes,” he admits.  
         The knight leaves the mattress as well and stands beside him for a quiet moment. “I’ll make you some tea.”  
         Dopheld nods. _Thank you_ , he projects, not trusting his voice to be steady. They sit on the floor, facing one another, holding their steaming cups in their hands. Mercifully, Kylo doesn’t pry. He seems to understand the Dopheld isn’t in the proper frame of mind to discuss anything, least of all what awoke him.  
         After half an hour, they return to bed, Kylo to sleep and Dopheld to lay beside him.

 

Steeling himself, Lieutenant Mitaka presses the buzzer to General Hux’s office. It’s just before his shift, and he needs to address this issue before it gets out of hand. But knowing it’s necessary doesn’t make him any more comfortable.  
         “Yes?” Hux asks over the intercom.  
         “It’s Lieutenant Mitaka, sir. I was hoping I could have a word with you.”  
         With a pneumatic hiss, the door slides open. Mitaka sucks in a breath and enters. He wonders how long Hux has been here, because there are three empty caf cups lined up on one edge of his desk. Or perhaps the general doesn’t sleep much, either.  
         “Lieutenant.” Hux gestures with his stylus. “Have a seat.”  
         Dopheld is wringing his hands; luckily they’re held behind his back. He wonders how he’ll be able to hide this once he sits. But he sits anyway. “General, I wanted to discuss what you saw in Lord Ren’s rooms yesterday.”  
The general doesn’t even look up from his datapad, just continues swiping down the screen. “What I saw was you asking him the location of your tablet. It’s hardly a court martial offense.”  
         “Yes, but… You know what it means.”  
         This is when Hux looks up and tilts his head to the side. “I’m not sure I do, Lieutenant. Look… I won’t pretend to understand the topic much at all.”  
         Considering this, Mitaka looks at his hands clutched in his lap and frowns.  
         “That being said, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of your duties or in any way interfere with our work here, I genuinely don’t care. Even if it is fraternisation, which I’m not certain is the case. So I’ve decided it isn’t.” He gives a wry smile. “And perhaps it will even improve things.”  
         “Sir?”  
         “Well, don’t people say that regular intercourse can even out a person’s moods? Because I would _love_ Lord Ren to show a bit more stability in that regard.”  
         Mitaka can’t help it; he laughs. Soon Hux joins him.  
         “See? I may be mostly asexual, but I do have a modicum of humour about it.”  
         The lieutenant notes the use of the word _mostly_. He stores it away in the Semi-Impossible Hopes drawer of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rather disjointed chapter, just trying to tie threads together a bit. Although finally introducing our third player. And no smut. Scout's honour. We will return to our regularly scheduled pornographic shenanigans in the next installment of Grown Men Unable to Express Their Emotional Turmoil.


	6. Festivities

The announcement is broadcast over the PA system in Hux’s clear, clipped public voice.  
          _“All non-essential personnel are welcome to any of the following lounges this evening between the hours of 1600 and 0230 for complimentary refreshments to celebrate the completion of Phase I of our newest and grandest project. Those who must remain on duty during this timeframe are invited to a second celebration during the next day cycle between 0530 and 1100.”_ A list of sites follows: for troopers, medical staff, engineering, NCOs, junior COs…  
         The only personnel not mentioned are the senior officers. Everyone understands that Hux will be hosting a private party for them, as well as the visiting dignitaries shuttling in from various corners of First Order Space. Few are bothered by this division of events; even fewer would wish to celebrate with the top brass were they in fact invited. Many of them are known for stodginess, stuffiness, and an inability to ever truly enjoy themselves.  
         At the canteen, Major Kamen stops by Mitaka’s seat. “Going to the festivities?” she asks, placing her tray next to his but remaining standing.  
         “Yes, I suppose so.”  
         “Are you bringing a date?”  
         Mitaka spits back the mouthful of caf he’d just taken.  
         She continues pitilessly. “Because if not…”  
         He shakes his head. “I don’t have a date, no. But I’m… taken.” The words sound entirely foreign in his mouth.  
         Kamen gives him a look of feigned shock. “Really. _Dopheld_. No need to let me down gently, you know. I’m a big girl and can cope.”  
         “It isn’t that,” he stammers, suspecting she’s enjoying his discomfort. “I really am. Seeing someone.”  
         Folding her arms across her chest, she prods further. “Another crewmember?”  
         “Ah. Sort of.”  
         Major Kamen peers at him suspiciously. “It isn’t that odd new radar technician, is it? The blond one?”  
         His eyes widen. “Wait. You _knew_ I was gay? And you still asked me out?” The woman has a crueller streak than he’d guessed.  
         She chuckles and finally takes a seat. “I had my suspicions. You’re too pretty to be entirely straight. But am I correct?”  
         “No, it isn’t that… kid.” Mitaka knows exactly to whom she’s referring, and he’s actually half-insulted by the insinuation. As though he’d be interested in someone so gawky and patently uncomfortable in his own skin as… Mitt, is it? No matter.  
         The major stirs her soup, waiting patiently. “Well?”  
         “May I share a confidence and trust that you’ll keep it?”  
         She rolls her eyes. “Of course, Dopheld. I’m not a gossip. I’m just curious.”  
         He finds a sudden fascination with straightening his lunch tray. “It’s Kylo Ren.”  
         Kamen’s spoon flips across the table, sending soup into the air. “What. The. Kriffing. _Ren_?”  
         Silently, Mitaka nods at his food. _The Kriffing Ren_ indeed. It isn’t a bad title for the man; he’ll have to let Kylo know sometime.  
         “Are you just fucking, or…?” she lets the question hang with a playful tilt of her head.  
         “Well, that’s how it started. Now we’re apparently dating.”  
         She blinks. “What’s he like? Frightening?”  
         “No, not particularly. He’s young. I mean, he’s my age.”  
         “Oh. Huh. I just assumed he was older. Does he use his powers?”  
         Guessing her meaning, he still blankly asks, “Does he use his powers when?”  
         “You know.”  
         Mitaka blushes. “Sometimes,” he admits.  
         Kamen just laughs. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed, Dopheld. We should have these conversations more often.”  
         He narrows his eyes. “You’re a monster.”

 

“Lieutenant Mitaka, I’d appreciate it if you were to stop by the celebration this evening.”  
         “Of course, sir. I was planning on attending the open bar at the junior officers’ club.”  
         Hux shakes his head. “No, I mean the _main_ celebration. In the Command Lounge, from 2100 to 0230, or until the alcohol runs out. Which, considering the guest list…” He puts a gloved finger up to his lips as he silently calculates consumption rates.  
         Mitaka stammers. “Sir, I’m… I’m flattered, really, but—”  
         “Have you ever been? It’s quite nice.”  
         Even if the lieutenant hadn’t seen the place himself, he would’ve assumed it was nice. Such things are supposed to be. “Yes, sir, once. With Lord Ren.”  
         “Please join me. On a personal level, I’d like to have someone who isn’t a blustering fool to speak with.”  
         “I…” He gives in. “Thank you, sir. I’ll make an appearance.” Now he just needs to determine how short a time he can spend at the party without offending the general.  
         “Shall I collect you first? We can go together.”  
         “Oh.” Mitaka’s brows knit even as he nods. It seems he’s managed to secure a date without intending to. Wouldn’t Kamen be terribly amused.  
         “I’ll stop by your quarters at 2055. Wear dress. Oh, and Lieutenant.”  
         “Yes, sir?” he asks, hand hovering above the door panel.  
         “Put in a requisition for ten more bottles of red wine, six white, and another four litres of whatever grain alcohol Corellia specialises in. I used to know its name, but I’ve managed to block out the memory.”  
         Mitaka nods, salutes, exits… and wonders what the kriff he’s getting into.

 

“Good evening, Mitaka. Are you ready?”  
         “I suppose so, sir.” The lieutenant hasn’t had much occasion to put on his dress uniform in the past few years, and it feels uncomfortably formal. At least he’s never really gained or lost weight, so it still fits. But looking across the threshold at General Hux, he sees the redhead wears parade blacks as though he was born to fill them out. _Parade_ , he realises with a dawning horror. “I thought you said dress, sir. Not—”  
         “As host, I’m expected to make an extra effort. Your attire is perfectly adequate.”  
         Mitaka sighs, telling himself that this is Hux’s version of a compliment. He distracts himself by returning to his visual survey of the general. The lieutenant has never had the opportunity to see him up close when formally kitted out.  
         Yes, some very thoughtful design had gone into the First Order uniforms for senior officers. Hux’s outfit is carefully tailored to engender a balanced mixture of awe, fear, and lust. Gazing at the man now, Mitaka only feels awe and lust. Perhaps he’s missing the specific receptors in his brain that would otherwise tell him to beware. Either that, or those fright receptors have been reassigned to sex detail.  
         Hux holds out his arm bent at the elbow. “Shall we, then?”  
         “Sir, am I to be your… date?”  
         “I don’t see anyone else here to do so. Unless you’d prefer not to tempt Lord Ren’s wrath.” He says this last bit with an eyebrow raised, as if in a dare.  
         Mitaka gives Hux a small, crooked smile. “Lord Ren is away on a classified mission, sir. Something terribly important and sorcerous, no doubt.”  
         Hux chuckles. “No doubt he is. So at least promenade with me to the lift.”

 

The doors to the lounge whish open. A protocol droid announces their arrival in crisp tones.  
         “Please welcome the host of tonight’s festivities, General Armitage Hux of Arkanis, Commander of the Unified Forces of the First Order.” There’s a beat while it adjusts to unexpected data in the form of Mitaka’s presence. “Accompanying him is Lieutenant First Class Dopheld Mitaka of Salient I.”  
         The few guests already in attendance turn to greet Hux and nod at Mitaka. Nearly flawlessly, they act as though it’s perfectly natural for their top general to appear with his adjutant as plus-one. In turn, Hux politely inclines his head to each person in sequence before placing a hand on the small of Mitaka’s back and guiding him toward the bar.  
         Dopheld bites the inside of his cheek to contain his surprise at how much Hux seems to be enjoying the entire “date” charade. Curious, he wonders if the general has ever been on a proper date. Tonight’s play-acting may be the closest he’s ever come. Mitaka frowns at the thought, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on its sadness because Hux has ordered a neat whiskey and turned to him with an inquiring tilt of his head.  
         “Bourbon, please. Rocks.”  
         They click their glasses together and begin to sip.  
         Hux spends most of the following hours in Mitaka’s vicinity. Although he circulates among the crowd as necessary, accepting congratulations and making small talk, he always returns to his lieutenant.  
         When Mitaka’s halfway into his third bourbon, he smiles up at the general who has just wandered back to him. “Sir, may I be so bold as to inquire about the nature of this project we’re all getting toasted for? I mean toasting?”  
         Hux smiles conspiratorially. “You were top of your class. Tell me what you’ve gathered so far.”  
         “It isn’t a station. Or a new class of starship. Or fighter. I suppose it must be a weapon, then.”  
         “Very good, Lieutenant. Go on.”  
         Mitaka notices that Hux’s hair is coming slightly loose and looking redder in the low light, a fact that is making it difficult for him to concentrate. “Nothing transportable, though. It’s a massive investment, requiring far too many resources for that. To be perfectly honest, General, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were trying to outdo Krennic and fashion something more powerful than—” He stops dead in his tracks as he catches sight of Hux’s flush of pride. “You _are_.”  
         In response, he’s met with a grinning flash of teeth. “That’ll be quite enough, Lieutenant. We mustn’t go about making wild accusations in public.” With that, he downs the remainder of his drink and takes a seat. “You really are clever. Not just a pretty face.”  
         “You’re enjoying pretending this is a date, aren’t you, sir?”  
         “Lieutenant,” Hux announces instead of giving a proper answer, “I believe that I am the most intoxicated I’ve been since the night I made General.”  
         “Sir, the fact that you’re saying _intoxicated_ instead of _drunk_ suggests to me that you are in fact still in command of most of your faculties.”  
         Hux nods. “I am always in command of most of my faculties. Except.” His face becomes suddenly serious. “Except my body sometimes.”  
         “General, is there something I should know about the state of your health?” Mitaka is suddenly worried that this project is Hux’s last hurrah before being claimed by some horrible and untreatable disease.  
         “No, no! Not at all! Just. Hmm. I suppose I can share a bit of a confidence with you?”  
         “Of course. You already know my major secrets.” (Homosexuality? Check. Kylo Ren? Also check.)  
         He chuckles and leans in. “It’s… well, it’s about my sex drive.”  
         “Sir?” Mitaka asks, startled.  
         “I do have one, you know. It’s milder than most, and I’ve never… engaged with anyone else, but… I still have… sometimes…” His voice fades.  
         Mitaka leans in as well to ask, “You get erections, General?”  
         Hux narrows his eyes at Mitaka, assessing his level of mockery before his expression softens. “Yes. And I don’t really know how to make them…” He wiggles his fingers. “Dissipate.”  
         “Do you not masturbate, sir?” He probably ought to feel horror or at least embarrassment at the question he just asked General Hux of all people, but it felt natural.  
         “I fail to see the benefit from doing so.”  
         “Oh. Well, there really isn’t one. Other than most people find it to be an enjoyable activity. Do you not?”  
         “It feels… Physiologically pleasant, granted. But I rarely indulge, and when I do, I can’t help but spend most of the time thinking that I’m wasting my time and energy.” With a flick of a finger he orders another drink. “Don’t you?”  
         “Frankly, sir, no. I prefer being with a lover, but I still regularly indulge myself.”  
         “Even now that you’re seeing Ren?”  
         Mitaka has to remind himself that Hux isn’t joking, that he actually doesn’t grasp the concept being discussed, which is why they’re discussing it. “He isn’t always around when I’m aroused, General. He will continue to go on these missions, you know.” As soon as it’s out of his mouth, he realises that this sounded like an invitation to do something while Ren’s off-ship. Desperately, he hopes Hux won’t interpret it that way. Not that he doesn’t _mean_ it, but he’s worried about making the man uncomfortable.  
         Absently, Hux taps at the rim of his glass in thought. “May I ask you what is likely a very personal question?”  
         In anticipation, Dopheld reddens a bit and gestures for a refill of his own. “You may, sir.”  
         “What do you think about? When _you_ touch yourself? Because to be honest, I’ve never thought of anyone specific. Do you only picture Ren?”  
         “No.” This _would_ be an extraordinarily personal question and one he wouldn’t be comfortable answering in another context. But he thinks he understands that Hux is only asking because he’s curious in an academic sort of way, and he’s flattered that the general is comfortable enough to broach the topic at all. “Not exclusively. I just let my mind provide stimulation. Sometimes it’s him, memories and imagined activities. Sometimes other lovers I’ve had. Or ones I haven’t but wish—” He stops cold before he talks himself into an embarrassing corner.  
         “Oh, men you’d like to have intercourse with? Or women, if you like them as well?”  
         “No, just men.” No need to mention the make-out sessions with female friends those years back; he doesn’t feel the need to have a conversation about exploring one’s orientation before settling into it conclusively. “But yes. Fantasies.”  
         “Are they always men you know?”  
         “Usually, sir.”  
         “Ones you work with, perhaps?”  
         He bites down on his lower lip before nodding tersely, the whole while attempting to determine what sort of look Hux is giving him. It’s highly possible the man is simply tipsy.  
         The redhead grins and keeps prodding, as though he’s enjoying having Mitaka in an awkward position. _Just like Kamen._ “I’ve heard others mention that Petty Officer Thanisson is attractive. Do you find that to be the case?”  
         Mitaka lets out an equivocal noise. “He isn’t bad looking, but he’s not my type, sir.”  
         “What is your type, then? Tall and moody?”  
         “Not necessarily. Confident and powerful. Tall certainly doesn’t hurt, though.”  
         “Ah. Like Ren and I.”  
         “Exactly, sir.” _Blast_. Now he’s gone and done it. All he can do is hope that the general is in fact too intoxicated to pick up on it. Of course he has no such luck.  
         “You’re attracted to me, Dopheld? May I call you Dopheld?” And Maker help Mitaka, because either he’s hallucinating or General Armitage Hux _winks_ at him.  
         The next words are out of his mouth before he can hold them back. “You can call me anything you’d like, General.”  
         An eyebrow arches instantly. “Is that so? Well, now that I know fraternisation isn’t a barrier for you…” He says it with something resembling a leer.  
         “Sir, _please_ don’t flirt. It’s going to cause irreparable harm to my ego if you don’t follow through.” He sighs. “And I know you’re not… wired that way.” _The way I’m not wired to want women._  
         Huffing, the general asks, “Did I not just confide in you that sometimes my curiosity is piqued? As it happens to be at the moment, with you?”  
         Mitaka’s mouth falls open. “General, sir, if you mean that, I’m up for anything.” Seriously. He’d get on his knees and blow the man here and now, consequences be damned.  
         “Even if it turns out that I’m terrible at it or don’t much enjoy it?”  
         He nods. “I’d just love the opportunity to try to please you.”  
         “Should we adjourn to my quarters?”  
         “Now?” Mitaka glances around.  
         “Why the hell not? The party will continue in our absence. No one came here to spend leisure time with me, after all.” Hux stands and collects his coat from the back of his chair before holding a hand out to help Mitaka up.  
         The lieutenant hisses into his ear, “Everyone will suspect.”  
         Shrugging nonchalantly, Hux replies, “Let them. It’s my Phase I project gala, after all. If I can’t get tipsy and leave with someone young and pretty, what’s the bloody point?”  
          _Maker_ , Dopheld thinks. _He really has gotten into the spirit of this._

 

It’s odd, coming to this deck but entering the room on the other side of the hall.  
         “Lights, 70%,” Hux announces as he hangs his greatcoat on a hook by the entryway.  
         As the illumination rises, Mitaka gazes at the room in which he’s currently standing. The layout of the general’s quarters appears to be the mirror of Ren’s, but the décor is astoundingly different. To begin with, there’s actually décor. Either Hux has an excellent eye for design, or he’s hired a professional. Mitaka guesses it’s the former, considering his involvement in the development of the Resurgent class destroyers as well as the great care he takes with his own personal appearance.  
         Turning to him, Hux asks, “Can I get you a drink, Dopheld?”  
         “Ah, no thanks.” Mitaka figures he’s just tipsy enough to not make things horribly awkward.  
         “Will this cause issues between you and Lord Ren?” Hux inquires softly, resting a hand lightly on Mitaka’s shoulder. “Because I wouldn’t want—”  
         Immediately, Dopheld shakes his head. “It shouldn’t. You’re on our list.”  
         Hux tilts his head to one side and asks, “Your list?”  
         “Yes, sir. People we’re permitted to play with, without requiring any sort of clearance beforehand.”  
         “Play, you call it?” His voice is quiet, almost shy, his gaze half-averted from Dopheld’s.  
         The man standing in front of Mitaka is someone entirely different from the confident general celebrating his professional accomplishments just minutes earlier. Now Lieutenant Mitaka is the one with the upper hand, in the form of experience and knowledge. He intends to treat Hux lightly, gently even. “Yes, sir.”  
         “Hm. I notice you said ‘our’ list, Dopheld. Not ‘my’ list.”  
         “That’s correct. Kylo is also attracted to you.” He doesn’t volunteer the fact that the aforementioned list consists of a single name. The general isn’t need-to-know on that particular piece of information.  
         Hux shakes his head in bewilderment. He hasn’t spent much time imagining anyone being attracted to him, and in the course of a single hour he’s discovered that two of the people he interacts with the most would in fact like to… What, exactly? He has to ask. “So what acts are you interested in with me?”  
         Mitaka actually blushes at the question. “I was thinking I’d offer you a blowjob to start.” He looks sheepish. “Sorry, do you know what that is?”  
         Hux nods but looks sceptical. “You want to put my penis in your mouth. I truly don’t see the attraction there.”  
         “If you like it, you’ll understand very quickly.”  
         “But for you, I mean?”  
         The lieutenant smiles shyly and glances at his shoes. “Oh, that’s my thing, sir.”  
         “What is?”  
         Feeling flushed, Mitaka takes the liberty of unfastening the top hook of his own collar. “Pleasing men.” He wonders if the general is continuing to talk in an effort to avoid starting something. Perhaps he thinks Mitaka is going to attempt to kiss him.  
         “Hm,” Hux hums thoughtfully, processing this information. “It certainly fits in with what I’ve seen of your personality professionally.”  
         He nods. “I know.” And he’s not ashamed of that consistency. Especially when his obliging demeanour attracts potential partners who can guess exactly how it will translate between the sheets. (Or on the floor, or against a wall.)  
         “So, how does this work? Do I stand, sit, or lie down?”  
         Mitaka shrugs. “It’s up to you. But sitting works well.” He can see Hux’s legs trembling as he struggles to stay upright; it’s an awkward but sweet image. However, Mitaka wants the general to be as comfortable as possible in the hopes that it will increase the likelihood of further… interactions. “Especially for less experienced recipients.”  
         “Virgins,” Hux translates for him.  
         “I didn’t say that, sir,” he answers diplomatically, gesturing to the couch. “Please have a seat.” Hux nods and complies. The lieutenant kneels at his commander’s feet. “Would you mind if I removed my tunic? It’ll make movement less restricted.”  
         “Of course not. I want you to be comfortable.”  
         Mitaka unbuckles his belt, unfastens his shirt, and pulls it off. He places these items of his uniform on the cushioned seat beside his commanding officer. “Would you care to remove your belt, or shall I?”  
         The corner of Hux’s mouth twitches in amusement. “Go ahead, Lieutenant. I’m in your capable hands.”  
         Dopheld’s fingers tremble a little as he touches the man’s buckle, suddenly aware of what it is he’s actually about to do. Or at least attempt to do, since he understands this may not go as well as he’s hoping. Once the belt is taken care of, he reaches down to undo the general’s flies. Taking a deep breath, he unhooks the fasteners. Hux raises his hips so that Mitaka can pull his trousers down past his knees. Then his fingers are slipping into the regulation briefs and…  
         “Oh, General,” he breathes in happy astonishment. The man is already half-hard. And his size is nothing to be shy about.  
         Hux looks away and coughs demurely into a fist. “All this discussion… As I said, you’ve piqued my interest.”  
         “It would seem so.” He finds the courage to wrap his right hand around the base of Hux’s cock, nestled in a small tuft of red hair. “You’re gorgeous.” For some reason, he hadn’t considered that the man’s pubic hair would be red as well, and the discovery has him aching.  
         The general arches both eyebrows. “It’s a penis, Lieutenant. You have one of your own, I’m sure.”  
         Mitaka shakes his head. “This,” he insists, giving the shaft a light stroke, “is a beautiful dick, sir.”  
         “Mm. If you insist.”  
         Almost hesitantly, Mitaka leans forward and licks up the length. It twitches against his tongue. He tilts the shaft toward him and runs his tongue over the head. The skin is warm, soft, and tastes a touch saltier than Dopheld was expecting. It reminds him that he’s become accustomed to Kylo, and that he rather misses a bit of variety.  
         “That… almost tickles,” Hux gasps.  
         Pulling off for a moment, the lieutenant asks, “Is it alright?”  
         “Yes. Please continue.” Dopheld Mitaka smiles to himself and pops the head in his mouth, working his lips around it. “Ah,” the general sighs as Dopheld begins to hollow his cheeks, creating waves of suction. The lieutenant angles Hux’s member and begins to take it in further, sucking the whole time. “Maker,” the redhead moans. “Dopheld. That’s _lovely_.” He cants his hips upward in a shy, shallow thrust. “Sorry,” he murmurs when Mitaka lets out a sound like “Mmph.”  
         Again, Mitaka sits back on his heels to speak. “Don’t apologise, sir. I can take a good deal more than that. Kylo Ren likes to fuck my throat.”  
         “One can do such a thing?” Hux asks, startled by the concept.  
         “Oh, yes.”  
         “May I touch your hair, Dopheld? I think I’d like that.”  
         Mitaka nods enthusiastically. “Please, sir. Do whatever feels natural.”  
         Hux chuckles at the instruction. “I’m thirty five and I’ve never received fellatio. _None_ of this feels natural.” A low groan escapes his mouth as Mitaka suckles at him again. “Ah, but it does feel fantastic.” A thought occurs to him. “What happens when I finish?”  
         “Sir, I’m not looking for reciprocation from you.”  
         “I meant before that. Practically speaking. Where do I ejaculate?”  
         “Into my mouth, of course.”  
         His brow furrows. “That’s alright with you?”  
         “More than alright. It’s rewarding,” Mitaka attempts to explain, stroking Hux with his hand while he speaks. “Tells me I’ve done my job properly.”  
         Hux shakes his head in astonishment. “Strange man. Very well.” He buries his fingertips in Mitaka’s hair as his noises become thoroughly unrestrained. He doesn’t use words, he just grunts and moans. It isn’t much longer before he’s tugging at the lieutenant’s hair with both hands and tilting his hips up repeatedly. A keening noise escapes his mouth and his climax bursts across Mitaka’s tongue and hits the back of his throat.  
         It seems like the general comes for a full minute, a long pent-up release finally exiting his body in thick pulses. Dopheld sucks and swallows the whole way through it. When Hux’s dick begins softening, still giving pathetic little twitches, the lieutenant sits back on his heels and looks up. The redhead’s cheeks are flushed, his eyelids drooping heavily. If Mitaka didn’t know any better, he’d guess the general had just been well and properly fucked.  
         Eventually the man is able to speak. “Thank you, Dopheld. That was most satisfactory.”  
         “You’re welcome, sir. Any time.” He stands up, retrieves his tunic and belt, and exits the general’s quarters. He’s annoyed that Kylo is out on a mission, because he’s bursting with gleeful pride and desperately wants to share.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional tag for inebriated but consensual oral sex.


	7. Jitters

Luckily, Hux has the next day off. It’s been years since he had more than two drinks in one sitting, and although he could function, he’d rather not have to.  
         He sleeps in, all the way to 0815. But he doesn’t really rise then, he only abandons the bed for the short time it takes to retrieve a cup of caf and his cigarettes. He stretches, arms bent behind his back, and smiles at the thought of Dopheld Mitaka. Settling back down against his pillows, he slips a cigarette between his lips. Lighting it and taking his first inhalation, something more than tabacc hits him.  
          _Fuck. Shit._  
         He has to set his cup down to review last night as a dull panic begins to set in.  
          _You invited your adjutant to the Command Lounge. Plied him with alcohol while his boyfriend was away. Flirted for hours. Asked him back to your quarters._ Sucking in a deep drag of smoke, he comes to the final step.  
          _And took advantage of him._  
 Laying a hand over his eyes, he reminds himself that Dopheld had said it wouldn’t cause problems with Ren, that Hux was on their List. It still doesn’t seem fair. After all, Hux had satisfied his curiosity—more than that, a neglected part of him admits—and what had Dopheld received?  
         A mouthful of ejaculate and a “That was satisfactory, Lieutenant.”  
         Hux had used him, like a prostitute, except he hadn’t even paid.  
        _I’m so bad at this. I shouldn’t have bothered trying at all._  
         Guiltily, the general kicks himself out of bed, uses the sonic, and goes about putting himself together. He just hopes Dopheld isn’t in too bad a state.  
         Pressing on the door chime, Hux bites his lower lip.  
         The door opens, revealing Dopheld in standard-issue workout attire. “Oh. Good morning, sir. I was about to head out to train, but if I’m needed—”  
         “No,” Hux says quickly, shaking his head. “Nothing official. I simply felt I shouldn’t delay my apology.” The lieutenant certainly seems fine, but Hux has to make sure.  
         Mitaka blinks. “I’m sorry, sir?”  
         Here Hux sees it, a startled worry blooming on the man’s face. “No, _I’m_ sorry. About last evening. I apologise for taking advantage of the situation, of my rank, of your graciousness and openness… And adding alcohol to the mix was also a poor choice, but doesn’t excuse—”  
         “Sir,” Dopheld stops him, a palm held up with a clear meaning. “Please stop. You have nothing to apologise for. I had a lovely evening with you.”  
         Now it’s Hux’s turn to blink. “You’re not angry?”  
         “Not at all. Personally speaking, I enjoyed the experience. And if you did as well, I’d be happy to repeat it some time.”  
         Hux’s breath comes out in a gust. He hadn’t known he was holding it. “Thank you. I thought I’d ruined everything.”  
         Dopheld gives him a forgiving smile. “You know, sir, caf is a good fix for morning-after jitters.”  
         “That’s… a thing?”  
         The lieutenant nods. “Care for a cup?” He steps back to let the general in. “I was a wreck after my first few times. Of course, that was partially due to the fact that the only thing I knew for certain about homosexuality at the time was that it meant I’d die alone, shunned by the society I was actively undermining.” He sets two full cups down on the tiny table by the kitchenette counter.  
         “Hm. I wonder, does this mean I’m homosexual as well?”  
         Mitaka shrugs noncommittally. “It’s difficult to plot anything with a single data-point, sir. After all, the first orgasm I had with someone else was with a girl. Unexpected and awkward, but a climax nonetheless.”  
         “Well, the one you gave me last night was the best of my life.”  
         Dopheld’s mouth opens at this statement. Even knowing that Hux has never been with anyone until now, it’s still touching to hear. “My pleasure. Although I didn’t have the opportunity to use many of my skills.”  
         Hux’s face flushes. “Bloody hells, what else can you do?”  
         “I’d be glad to demonstrate whenever you’re interested. I understand that may not be often, but let me know.”  
         “I come here to apologise for using you, and instead you offer more.”  
         With a good-natured chuckle, Dopheld asks, “Did you expect me to be a guilty mess today, sir?”  
         Hux’s mouth twitches as he decides how best to answer. “I… well… I thought that might be the case.”  
         “Oh, General,” Dopheld murmurs with a slow shake of his head. “You have no idea what a happy slut I am.”  
         The redhead’s eyes widen. “You call yourself that?”  
         “Yes. It’s accurate and I feel no shame in it.”  
         “Ah. I suppose I figured that considering your… history…”  
         Mitaka’s hand twitches while holding his mug, sloshing caf onto the counter. “Sir,” he warns. “Please don’t bring that up unless I do.”  
         This was what Hux was expecting to see: the determined set of Mitaka’s jaw, the edge of raw nerves detectable in his voice. The general has caught sight of it before, but he’s never been in a position to attempt to comfort the young officer. Hux reaches over to place his palm over Mitaka’s other hand.  
         Grimacing, the lieutenant pulls back. “No. Please don’t touch me. It’ll make everything far worse.”  
         Frowning, Hux puts his hands in his lap. _He was fine until you showed up._ “It appears I owe you an apology after all.”  
         Shaking his head, Dopheld explains, “You do not. I just know my likely reaction to a sudden gesture of kindness.” He presses fingertips against his forehead and breathes in deeply. “I can keep it in,” he reassures himself. “I can manage this.”  
         “I know you can. I have every confidence in you, Dopheld.”  
         With a bleak smile, Mitaka silently returns to his caf.

 

At lunch, Kamen sidles up to Mitaka’s table and sits beside him. “I heard you attended the High Command party.”  
         Mitaka inclines his head. “Guilty as charged.”  
         “With General Hux,” she clarifies.  
         “Again, yes. He was the host, after all.”  
         She shakes her head in disbelief. “How’d that go? Horribly awkward?”  
         “Not at all. It was lovely.”  
         “Dopheld. Did you get trashed and cheat on Lord Ren?”  
         He gives Kamen an injured look. “Of _course_ not. I don’t cheat.” Although Kylo is only the third person Mitaka could have cheated on, this is a firm principle for him. In the absence of permission, Mitaka simply would have declined Hux’s invitation, albeit with a strong and pervasive sense of disappointment.  
         “Did our General attempt to take advantage?” she asks with a smirk.  
         “No.”  
         “I figured. He’s like a droid. Probably doesn’t even have genitals.”  
         Mitaka can’t help but let out a derisive snort. “Don’t be ridiculous.”  
         “Oh, really? And what would you know about that?”  
         A smirk follows. “I don’t kiss and tell.”  
         In a horrified voice, she states, “Lieutenant Dopheld Mitaka. You said you don’t cheat.”  
         Shrugging, he simply explains, “It isn’t cheating if one has explicit permission. Not that anything happened. Because it didn’t. And if it _had_ , I wouldn’t dream of talking about it.”  
         “You and I are having drinks tonight,” Kamen announces. “Over which drinks you are going to tell me everything that didn’t happen between you two.”

 

Forty-six hours after the party, Kylo Ren returns to the Finalizer. Mitaka accompanies Hux to the landing bay, but of course he isn’t able to greet the knight properly. All he can do is salute and give a hint of a smile. Then Kylo vanishes to report to the Supreme Leader. An hour after dinner, Mitaka is brushing his teeth when his comm buzzes on the sink.  
        _**KR:** Join me in my quarters if you’re free._  
         Dopheld smirks at the message. There’s no need to ask; he never has plans. But he supposes Kylo is attempting to be diplomatic over the comm system. He smiles at the thought that the knight most likely wanted to say, _Get your ass over here and blow me._  
         Scurrying as quickly toward Ren’s quarters as he can while maintaining a veneer of professionalism, Dopheld’s pulse surges in anticipation. He thumbs the buzzer, the door slides open, and then he’s inside with Kylo’s arms wrapped around him. It feels even more comfortable than he remembered.  
         Looking up into Kylo’s face, he murmurs, “Welcome home, My Lord. How did the mission go?”  
         “Plenty of blood but not enough answers.” He sighs. “At least I’m back with you.” Leaning down, he kisses Dopheld’s cheek.  
         Before they can get carried away with their lips, Dopheld blurts out, “I have a present for you.”  
         “Oh, yes?” the knight asks, head cocked in curiosity.  
         Dopheld takes one of Kylo’s gloved hands and raises it to his cheek. “It’s a memory. From two nights ago.”  
         Giving him a quizzical look, Kylo places a fingertip against Dopheld’s forehead. The lieutenant replays key selections from the beginning of his evening with Hux.  
          _Celebrating with the general. A private conversation over drinks, flirting followed by an invitation—_  
         At the image of Mitaka kneeling at Hux’s feet, Kylo’s eyelids flutter open. “Dopheld,” he murmurs, gazing with wonder into Mitaka’s eyes. “You… well done. Now show me everything.”  
         Mitaka does. By the end of the scene, Kylo has turned him around, slung an arm across his chest, and begun grinding against his ass. “Good boy, Dopheld. What a perfect little whore you’ve turned out to be. Well, I think I need to reward you for your initiative with the general.”  
         “Thank you, My Lord.”  
         Gesturing to the couch, Kylo instructs, “Take a seat.” Then he settles cross-legged on the floor in front of Mitaka and reaches up for his flies.  
         The lieutenant’s face reddens in understanding. “Oh. You needn’t do that.” He tries to brush Kylo’s hands away.  
         “I want to. I missed you.”  
        _Oh dear, then._ His body goes rigid as those two large hands pull his trousers open, then drag them down alongside the briefs. Kylo leans in and just his breath between Mitaka’s legs has the officer twitching. Then Dopheld tries to relax as Kylo licks and nibbles at his inner thighs. “Oh!” he moans softly when lips seal around him. “My Lord,” he mumbles when Kylo hollows his cheeks. Torn between gratitude and horror, Mitaka struggles not to rut against Kylo’s face.  
         Turning his gaze up to check on the lieutenant, the knight sees him rosy-cheeked and flustered.  
          _—Is this alright?_  
         Mitaka squeezes his eyes shut, attempting to force himself to just feel, not to think. Not to worry, overanalyse, or panic. It doesn’t work. He doesn’t deserve this sort of undivided attention—he should be doing something to show Lord Ren just how glad he is to have him back. “Yellow,” he blurts out, thoroughly ashamed of himself. He can’t even enjoy a blowjob; it’s pathetic.  
         Kylo sits back on his heels, lightly massaging Mitaka’s legs above his knees while he looks at him with mild concern. He’s remembering how a while ago the lieutenant had admitted that this isn’t his “favourite act”, that it makes him self-conscious. Kylo wonders why; Mitaka has a lovely dick and he deserves to be treated nicely. And although the knight knows he isn’t the best cocksucker in the quadrant, not everyone can be Dopheld Mitaka.  
         “I’m sorry, Lord Ren. I just can’t… focus.” The lieutenant sounds like he’s about to cry. “I hate to be a disappointment, sir.”  
         All of a sudden, it occurs to him that Mitaka might not be able to find this rewarding, that his mind is getting in the way. “What would you like from me, Phel?”  
         “Maybe we could both… at the same time?” Dopheld suggests.  
         Kylo realises this is still a compromise for Mitaka, that the man would much rather just blow him per usual, without distractions. They climb onto the bed together and Kylo pulls his robes over his head, tosses them on the floor haphazardly. Then the knight reaches over to remove Mitaka’s undershirt and takes a few moments to play with the man’s newly exposed nipples. It surprises him how much the lieutenant likes this, because Kylo’s never gotten much enjoyment out of it himself. He supposes his own nipples must be far less sensitive than Dopheld’s. Flicking them roughly, he says, “You know, since you like this so much, you should consider having these pierced.”  
         “That’s… ah… against regulation, sir.”  
         “Of _course_ it is. Such a pity.” He pinches and twists both nubs at once and watches Dopheld bite his lip and squirm. “I wonder what that conversation would be like, if Hux found out. Would you tell him it was under my orders?”  
         “No! Maybe. I… I have no idea, My Lord.”  
         Kylo’s hands finally let up. “Fine. I’ll stop tormenting you for now. Turn around and lie on top of me.”  
         Mitaka hasn’t done this in years, not since the Academy—or more accurately, not since figuring out how much of a submissive he really was. Kylo’s lips and tongue are distracting, but bearably so. Dopheld can focus on pleasing the knight as best he can in this strange position. They lay together like partners, mouths working hungrily between each other’s legs.  
         But they are partners now, aren’t they? Dopheld wonders if either of them knows what that actually means, figures probably not. He wonders which of them is going to come first. Probably Kylo, since he’s not really the type to delay things unnecessarily. And Mitaka has a lot more experience with prolonging his own release—he’s learned to love dancing on the edge.  
         The knight does indeed climax first, but Mitaka isn’t far behind. The way Kylo moans softly around his dick has Dopheld spurting between Kylo’s lips. After swallowing each other’s fluids, they both recline on the pillows, catching their breaths in quick pants.  
         As Kylo spoons him, the lieutenant rather darkly wonders which of them is going to die first. Probably him. He has no illusions about his place in the galaxy and has always thought of himself as rather expendable. Kylo, on the other hand, is either monstrous or heroic. Both all at once, to be honest.  
         He’s pleased with the way his life is currently progressing, though. He never would have let himself dream of a single night with someone like Ren. Or Hux, for that matter. Certainly not both.  
         Mitaka nearly drifts asleep in Kylo’s arms before pulling himself back from the edge, remembering the inherent risk and not willing to take it. _Vigilance_ , he reminds himself. _Eternal bloody vigilance._ As he waits for Kylo to fall into a deep sleep of his own, Dopheld weighs the idea of a prescription sleep aid. He doesn’t want another crutch, he’s wary of anything that might be habit-forming, and yet. Something will have to give, and if it’s not his pride, it may very well end up being his sanity. Dopheld Mitaka isn’t a physician, but he’s seen both officers and troopers develop sleep-deprivation psychosis. Curling as far away from Kylo as possible, he allows himself a few fitful hours of napping.  
         They talk about Hux over breakfast. Well, Mitaka’s having breakfast and Ren is once again skipping the most important meal of the day.  
         “Do you think he’ll come to you again?” Kylo asks.  
         Dopheld swallows his mouthful of oatmeal. “Perhaps. If so, I have a feeling it will be a while.”  
         “I suppose we’re in for the long game with this one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What we've got going on here:  
> \- Morning-after jitters from someone who's never had the occasion to feel them before  
> \- Skirting around the topic of trauma and its fallout  
> \- The use of "yellow" in the colour-coded safeword system (due to emotional discomfort)
> 
> (Also, I'm rather proud of myself for including "sense of a foreshortened future" before I even properly read up on PTSD.)


	8. VIII

Two months pass before Hux approaches Mitaka for a nonprofessional purpose.  
         “I know Lord Ren is currently on board, but I was wondering if you might be willing to… assist me again. After our shifts end this evening.”  
         “Of course, sir.”  
         A look of relief washes over the general’s face. “Thank you. I’ve been in a bit of a state the past few days.”  
         With a shy smile, Mitaka explains, “For future reference, sir, you don’t need to let it go for days.”  
         Dopheld arrives at Hux’s door twenty minutes after leaving the bridge. The general smiles and wordlessly hands him a tippler of brandy. Apparently they’re developing a pattern to these meetings of theirs.  
         This go-around, Mitaka takes his time. Now that he knows the man enjoys it, he’s able to lavish attention on Hux. He even deep-throats him a little, causing the general to lean his head back against the top of the couch and moan beautifully. And this time, Dopheld asks the redhead for one small consideration.  
         “Sir, may I touch myself?”  
         “You’re enjoying it that much, Dopheld?”  
         “Of course.”  
         Hux tilts his head. “By all means, then,” he says with a shrug. “I’d hate to think I were using you.”  
          _I wouldn’t. Not at all_ , Mitaka thinks as his comm bleeps, and he pauses to fish it out of the tunic lying discarded on the couch.  
                   _ **KR:** Where are you?_  
         The lieutenant rolls his eyes and types out a response that he knows will have Ren leaving him alone for at least an hour. He also takes the opportunity to take another sip of his brandy.  
                 _**DM:** With the General._  
         Even so, Dopheld decides to be cautious and silence any non-urgent alerts. As he does this, he catches Ren’s response.  
                   _ **KR:** Very good. Report back when you’re through, Lt. Mitaka._  
         “Anything I should be concerned about?” Hux asks. “Something on fire?”  
         Mitaka shakes his head. “No, sir. Just Lord Ren checking in on me. Usually I’m in his quarters by now.”  
         Hux asks with a smirk, “On your knees?”  
         “Wherever he wants me, sir.”  
         “But I can keep you here a bit longer?”  
         “Until you’re finished with me, General. I have explicit orders to please you.”  
         The redhead takes hold of him by the hair and guides him back down. “Make up for the time you lost talking to him.”  
         All Dopheld can do is nod up and down Hux’s dick while he thinks, _Yes, sir_.The man is certainly comfortable giving orders.  
         “You’re very good at this, aren’t you?” Another nod. “That’s what I thought. How is Ren?” Mitaka makes an equivocal noise. “That’s interesting. I suppose I’ve lucked out, then. Having you as my guide to introduce me to all this.” He reaches into his greatcoat and pulls out his cigarette case. “Mind if I indulge?” Mitaka shakes his head; he’s found he doesn’t mind the characteristic odour of burning tabacc, possibly because he’s come to associate it with Hux. The general lights up and inhales. “Tell me something, Lieutenant. How many men have you… ah, fuck… pleasured this way?”  
         Mitaka glances up at him, wondering why the man is insisting on attempting to have a conversation with him during all this. Maybe it’s in order to last longer this time. He shrugs.  
         The general pulls an ashtray over and taps his cigarette into it. “Come, now. Don’t be embarrassed by your experience.”  
         The lieutenant pulls off. “I’m not, sir,” he explains while stroking the general with one hand. “It’s only that I lost count some time ago.”  
         Hux arches an eyebrow. “Indeed? Could you provide an estimate?”  
         A second shrug. “A few hundred, perhaps.”  
         “Would you consider yourself to be promiscuous, then?”  
         “I suppose so, General.” He returns to work with his mouth, not particularly concerned about terminology. The hard cock in front of him is consuming his attention for the time being.  
         The general hums in satisfaction. “Does Ren mind?” Mitaka shakes his head emphatically. “So he enjoys the fact that his boyfriend’s a precocious little slut?”  
         Dopheld can’t help but moan at Hux’s phrasing. Although he himself rarely uses obscene language, it rarely fails to arouse him when a partner does so. Especially when certain words—like _slut_ —are used to describe him.  
         “And you like that word,” Hux notes. “Does he call you names while he fucks you?”  
         Mitaka has to take another break to answer. “Yes, sir.”  
         “‘Whore’?” Nod. “‘Bitch’?” Nod. “What else?”  
         The lieutenant smiles. “I’m also partial to ‘come-dump’ and ‘cock-slut’.”  
         Hux tilts his head in consideration of these terms. “‘Come-dump’?” he questions.  
         “Yes, sir. Meaning I’m just two warm holes into which to conveniently unload one’s ejaculate.”  
         “Oh. So you like the idea of being used.”  
         “I do indeed.”  
         “Would you like that from me?”  
         Mitaka’s eyes darken at the offer. “If you think you’d enjoy it, of course, sir. I only want to be of service.”  
         “Hm.” He sucks in a drag of nicotine. “Alright, then.” His voice is sharp and cold when he orders, “Take it all the way down, Lieutenant. _Now_.”  
         Dopheld feels a chill of excitement run down his spine as he manoeuvers his head and neck into proper position before promptly swallowing Hux’s dick down to the root and hollowing his cheeks.  
         “Fuck,” the redhead groans, stretching to extend his arms across the back of the couch. He sinks back into the cushions. “Bloody hells. Such a whore.”  
         Mitaka nods as best he can while bobbing his head up and down Hux’s considerable length. Luckily the general isn’t as thick as Ren, so his gag reflex hasn’t kicked in because he doesn’t feel like he’s choking. But his throat will be sore—and he wonders how it will feel if Ren fucks his face later tonight. Probably delicious agony. Hux interrupts these thoughts by putting one hand on the top of his head and holding him down just as he’s about to rise again. He splutters. Hux moans and Dopheld struggles to stay down longer. He realises he should have told the general about his usual signal to request air. Drawing a quick breath in and out through his nose, Dopheld cringes when he unfortunately expels strings of mucus from his nostrils. How much of a turn-off is this going to be for Hux? Hurriedly wiping his nose with the back of his wrist, he realises he shouldn’t have worried, because the redhead’s eyes are closed and he’s bucking up into Mitaka’s mouth, chasing friction and heat.  
         “Mitaka. Fuck. Don’t do anything differently. Just keep… Oh, you dirty slut.” The words feel foreign in his mouth, but at least it sounds like he means them.  
         The insult tips the lieutenant over the edge and he comes into his hand while Hux slams his head down, simultaneously fucking upwards. And then Hux is far beyond words, simply grunting as he empties down Mitaka’s throat. The lieutenant doesn’t even need to swallow.  
         Hux pets Dopheld’s head for a few moments while they come down. Then he stands, stretches, and pours two more servings of brandy. Handing one to Mitaka, he asks, “What exactly do you do together? You and Ren?”  
         He smiles and graciously accepts the fresh drink. “Would you like to see for yourself, sir?”  
         “You’ve taken vids?”  
         “Yes. I’ll have to ask Lord Ren, but I can’t imagine he’d take issue with sharing a few.”  
         “You two aren’t very traditional, are you?”  
         “No, sir. And I wouldn’t want to intimidate you.”  
         Hux crosses his arms over his chest and gives Mitaka a pointed look.  
         “I really don’t mean that as an insult. Some of the things we do would startle most average people.” He kicks himself. “I don’t mean to say that you’re average. I just. I mean. You’re not…”  
         “Calm down, Lieutenant. Think about what you intend to say before trying again.”  
         Mitaka gazes up at the ceiling and breathes. “I don’t want to turn you off, sir. Lord Ren and I explore a lot of kinks, and it’s hard to predict how one will react to any of them before witnessing it oneself. That’s all.”  
         “Good job, Dopheld. That was far less insulting. How about this: you share with me what you’re comfortable with, and I promise not to hold it against you if I’m not interested. We can keep going as we have been.”  
         “Thank you, sir.”

 

Throughout his shift, Hux’s thoughts return to the thumb-drive in his coat pocket.  
         What exactly do the two of them do together that would startle people? Hux’s eyes narrow as he wonders. To be honest, he hasn’t watched much pornography. Back when he was younger and still concerned about such things, he’d made a survey of various genres, thinking that perhaps he just hadn’t stumbled upon his orientation yet. Straight was ruled out first. Then gay didn’t do anything, either. He even checked out some non-human options in his increasingly desperate search.  
          _I’m broken_ , he’d thought. _Everyone around me is sex-crazed and I’m… boring_. Telling himself he must be a late bloomer, he pushed his concerns away. But sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years of age had passed and all he’d done was turn down dates. By the time he entered the Academy, Armitage Hux could count the times he’d masturbated to completion on one hand.  
         Now he wonders if perhaps the issue also involved difficulty with imagination. Until very recently, he’d never grasped the attraction in receiving fellatio. But now that it isn’t just a theoretical activity, it’s quite different. He hopes to watch Mitaka go down on Ren, to study the act as a bystander.  
         Eventually he has the time to sit on his bed and bring down the projector screen. There’s a glass of red wine breathing on the nightstand. He hits Play.  
         As it turns out, his obscene prayers are answered immediately. The vid starts right off with Mitaka on his knees, Ren standing nude before him. The knight’s body is… well, objectively speaking, it’s beautiful. Pale skin, defined musculature, narrow waist.  
         “Going to suck me off?” the knight drawls.  
         Mitaka nods and leans forward, mouth open, tongue at the ready. The general cocks his head as he notices that his lieutenant isn’t precisely nude; he’s wearing a collar. Is Mitaka going to act like a domesticated kath hound? (He sincerely hopes not.) Or… a slave? Something powerful hits Hux in the stomach at that thought.  
         “Good boy.” Without any warning that Hux can see, Kylo Ren grabs Mitaka by the hair at the top of his head and shoves him down. The general is surprised by the lack of any indication that the lieutenant is choking, despite the knight’s substantial size. Holding Mitaka in place, Kylo hammers into his mouth. At this point, he must be well down the man’s throat.  
          _This is what throat-fucking looks like_ , Hux realises, and there’s a responding throb in his crotch. He’d thought that was what he’d done to Mitaka the last time, but now he understands that was just a warm-up. What Kylo Ren is doing is truly violent; he’s not taking the lieutenant’s pleasure or even comfort into consideration. Also, he’s doing this like it’s the most natural thing in the galaxy, and Mitaka is not only not resisting, but helping. His tongue peeks out from his mouth to press against the knight’s scrotum, even though his back is shuddering (either in desperation for air or a disregarded impulse to gag). Ren lets go of his head, but the lieutenant stays down for a good long moment before backing off to breathe. Then he coughs, expelling saliva into the crook of his arm, and Hux should really find this off-putting, but instead he’s fascinated by the man’s commitment to please. Mitaka leans forward and sucks on Ren’s testicles, making a low hum of enjoyment.  
         “You’re a filthy little slut,” Kylo growls.  
         And although Hux knows his lieutenant reacts in a very particular way to power, it’s quite another thing to watch him respond as an uninvolved observer. Mitaka’s nodding earnestly and smiling, his untouched cock jumping wildly in his lap. “Yes, My Lord,” he answers, eyes politely downcast.  
         Seeing as how Hux has plenty of power himself, he wonders if Mitaka would look at him like that. Or had the lieutenant already done so, while Hux was too busy enjoying the physical sensations the man was causing him?  
         Focus returning to the vid, he watches while Ren helps Mitaka to his feet and positions him on the bed, propping him up with a large pillow under his hips. Summoning a small bottle with those obnoxious powers, the knight slicks himself up. In the meantime, Mitaka waits on the mattress with ass held high.  
          _To think this all happened next door to my quarters. What was I doing when Ren was preparing to penetrate my lieutenant?_  
         Ren is smiling as he places a wet finger against Mitaka, sending a subtle shiver up the man’s back. “Beg for it,” he orders.  
         “Oh Maker, Lord Ren,” Dopheld Mitaka wails. “Please have me.”  
         “Where and how, my dirty whore?”  
         “Please take my arse. And hard.”  
         Without warning, Kylo reels his hand back to slap a cheek. Mitaka gasps lightly. “Alright,” Ren agrees. “I can do that. Since you asked so prettily. How hard do you want it?”  
         “As hard as you care to give it, My Lord.”  
         “Good. Because tonight I want to use you very roughly indeed before I fill you up.”  
         What he said is disgusting, it’s probably not altogether healthy, but Hux feels his face flush. He’s always appreciated wielding power, and never really stopped to consider how others reacted to it as long as they followed his leadership. Now it seems that certain individuals—Mitaka included—can find it intensely arousing. The man yearns to serve in every area of his life, from bridge to bedroom. He wants to be useful, to please.  
         And Hux is completely unsurprised that Ren wants to use and be pleased. He supposes the balance works well for the both of them. He hopes so, at least for Mitaka’s sake, because he doesn’t want to see the lieutenant end up hurt. It wouldn’t be good for his team.  
         Possibly, it might upset Hux a little as well. Pushing that strange thought away, he watches Ren manoeuver behind Mitaka. It’s… interesting. Not particularly arousing, but fascinating in a mechanical sort of way. Because the lieutenant’s body is so much smaller than the knight’s. The camera floats between them, its lens aimed downwards. With his cheeks spread apart, Mitaka’s hole appears tiny, and Hux can’t really believe that Ren’s dick will actually fit in there. The member in question is not only long but wide, much thicker than either Hux’s or Mitaka’s.  
         The knight’s fingers are damp with lubricant, and as he slips one inside, Mitaka sighs and pushes back.  
          _He wants this. It actually feels good to him._  
         Ren adds another digit and twists his wrist. Hux can’t be sure what exactly is happening inside Mitaka, but the lieutenant’s back arches and he gasps, “Thank you, My Lord.” He shudders and whimpers, “Please take me soon.”  
         “Shh,” the knight says gently. “I need to get you ready for me.” With that, Ren pushes a third finger inside and starts actively stretching him. Now Hux thinks it’s possible that Mitaka can take Ren without injury, but he still doesn’t believe the man will enjoy it. Surely he’ll just endure it out of a submissive desire to give the knight what he wants.  
         Shuffling around between Mitaka’s cheeks, Ren lets out a low growl as he slowly enters. Hux pays attention to the lieutenant’s reaction, watches him lower his head, clench his hands into fists, and bite down on his lower lip. The general can see his discomfort, but also a few things he didn’t expect. Flushed cheeks, bright eyes, the hint of a smile.  
         It isn’t all bad, then.  
         “There,” Ren murmurs, caressing Mitaka’s hips reassuringly. “Good boy. Let me know when you’re ready.”  
         If he’d been asked, Hux wouldn’t have expected this moment, either the pause or the kind words. And he sees a conflict play out on Mitaka’s face; he thinks the lieutenant is deciding between allowing Ren to go ahead whenever he wants and waiting until he himself is ready.  
         What does that mean, anyway? Ready? How could anyone ever be prepared to be buggered by something of that size?  
         Dopheld Mitaka draws in a long breath and slowly lets it out before saying, “Please, My Lord. Now.”  
         Lord Ren’s first movements are slow although hardly gentle, and the lieutenant exhales a quiet, almost pained grunt at the end of each thrust. Hux watches his expression relax, and then Mitaka is meeting Ren’s motions, backing against him with each rough slam forward. Although Ren is fucking Mitaka brutally, their bodies move together fluidly. It’s like an intoxicating dance that Hux has never before witnessed.  
         A dance with an obscene soundtrack, all panted breaths, moaned curses, and skin wetly slapping together. Hux realises he’s hard as hell, and for once he actually feels inclined to touch himself. Reaching tentatively under the elastic waistband of his pyjamas, he curls delicate fingers around his shaft, and draws in a hissing breath at the unfamiliar contact to sensitive skin. Not really knowing what he’s doing, he improvises as he goes along, playing with different angles and motions to discover what makes his spine tingle. He teases himself while watching Ren wreck Mitaka.  
         The lieutenant groans while the knight spits out an increasingly breathless litany of abuse.  
         “Filthy cock-slut. I don’t even think I’ll prep you next time. I’ll just shove all the way in and pound you right away. Because that’s what you deserve, isn’t it? To be held down, fucked hard, and filled with come. And it’s what you want, because all you are is a dirty come-dump. Just two hot, greedy holes for me.”  
         Mitaka nods furiously in agreement. “Yes, My Lord. Oh, yes. Yes.” Hux suspects the man is probably currently incapable of saying anything more intelligent than this.  
         “Now, beg for me to dump my seed in this slutty little hole of yours.”  
          _Absolutely filthy_ , Hux thinks, although he can hear himself panting. _I’m just as debased as they are._ But the criticism is half-hearted at most.  
         “Please, Lord Ren! Give me your load, shoot it deep, I need to feel it, I need to feel you.” His voice is cracking in desperation.  
         “Do you think you deserve it?”  
         “No, sir. But if it pleases you…”  
         “Oh, it does. And you do deserve it. Such a good little fuck-toy, letting me play however I want. Letting me fill you up…” Lord Ren throws his head back, his fingertips dig into Mitaka’s hips, and Hux knows the man is coming. Actually, both of them are, the knight as well as the spectator.  
         Staring down at his lap, Hux murmurs, “Shit” when he realises he hasn’t anything handy to clean up the mess he’s made. Telekinesis would be quite welcome at this moment.  
         As would Dopheld Mitaka’s mouth.  
         Wiping his hand on his pyjama pants, he removes them carefully, chucks them into the laundry bin, and reaches into his wardrobe for a fresh pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am currently living in an actual cabin in the woods. Mercifully there's wifi.


	9. IX

“You know, I can _tell_ something has been bothering you,” Dopheld says, reaching for his tablet. Kylo has been uncharacteristically quiet since they woke up this morning.  
         “Not exactly bothering—No. Just.” Kylo looks down at himself, catches sight of the hilt of his sabre. It feels terribly incongruous, this symbol of his rare and enormous power, along with an inability to articulate basic feelings. “Move in with me.”  
         Mitaka actually drops his tablet, but Kylo freezes its fall just above the floor. The lieutenant turns around slowly, mouth agape.  
         “Sorry, that was blunt.”  
         “Indeed it was.” Dopheld steadies himself. “Now, did you say that on impulse, or…”  
         Shaking his head, the knight explains, “I’ve been thinking about it for some time.”  
         “Then you’re serious.”  
         Kylo nods. “Very.” He raises Mitaka’s tablet in the air and takes a hold of it. “I’m sorry if it isn’t something you’re interested in doing.” He hands the device off to the lieutenant.  
         Mitaka shakes his head. “No, it isn’t that. I just… haven’t allowed myself to imagine… Thank you, Kylo.” A real relationship has been a difficult enough concept for him to grasp. But cohabitation means something even more. People don’t just move in together unless they’re committed.  
         “Is that a diplomatic no?”  
         Another headshake.  
         “Is it a yes?”  
         Dopheld’s forehead creases in thought. “I… I’m not sure. I need to consider it.” Standing on tiptoes, he leans in to kiss Kylo’s cheek. “I’ll try to let you know by this evening.”

 

Pacing the length of his room, Dopheld considers Kylo’s request. What does he have to consider, other than logistics? His immediate response, the one that had bypassed all analytical thought with frightening speed, was Yes. But Mitaka has spent too many years deferring his impulses to logic to stop now, even for so personal a question.  
         He’s sorry that he couldn’t have given Kylo a faster reply. He knows it isn’t kind to make anyone wait for a decision like this, and that it’s even harsher on Kylo Ren. The knight isn’t the most emotionally mature of men, although Dopheld shouldn’t criticise him on that count.  
         Kylo Ren wants things _yesterday._ Dopheld Mitaka takes days to determine what he in fact wants. They both have trouble with timing. And that discrepancy is far from fair.

 

Kylo isn’t holding out much hope in regards to Dopheld’s decision. At this point he’s just pleading for the lieutenant not to leave him. And yes, he _could_ tap into Mitaka’s mind to figure out exactly what he’s thinking, but Kylo doesn’t want to face that certainty until he has to.  
         He assumes Dopheld knew immediately what he wanted, and the only reason he’s delaying his response is to work on the best phrasing for No. Because if he’d wanted to move in, surely he would have said that and figured the rest out later. Except… Dopheld Mitaka is all about logistics first, Kylo reminds himself. So perhaps…  
         He’s been stuck in this loop for hours, unable to meditate, unable to sleep.  
         The doorbell chimes. He slumps against the wall and presses the release. Then as it slides open, he finds himself straightening up in shock.  
         It’s Dopheld—of _course_ it is—and he’s carrying two duffel bags, one in either hand.  
         “Hi,” Mitaka says with a shy smile.  
         “Hi.” That sound is all Kylo can scrape together at the moment. Then: “So. You.” This is what passes for communication between them as they move in together.  
         Mitaka nods once. “Yes. I’m here. If the offer’s still good.”  
         Kylo doesn’t answer aloud. Without intending to, he responds directly inside Mitaka’s mind as he pulls him in for a kiss. _Yes. Of course yes. Thank you._ Dopheld drops both bags in order to place his arms around and up Kylo’s back.  
         “It isn’t official yet, as far as the room roster goes. I’ve submitted a quarter change request, but you’ll need to fill one in as well.”  
         Kylo looks down at him with amused surprise. “Really? Paperwork?” _How romantic_ , he thinks.  
         “Of course. My superiors and emergency services need to be able to locate me when I’m off-duty.”  
         “And they can’t do that via comm or your bio tracker?”  
         “Oh, well, they _could_. But there are _policies_ and _procedures_ in place.” He’s almost whining.  
         Kylo pats Mitaka on the head. “Shut up, Dopheld. I know you have to do things properly. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

“Celebrate?” Kylo asks during a break in their kissing session on the couch. To be precise, Kylo is the one seated on the couch, and the lieutenant is perched on his lap.  
         Dopheld nods in agreement. “I’d like you to learn to use the crop on me.”  
         “Yes,” Kylo hisses in excitement. “I want to punish you for making me wait. For causing me to doubt what we are to one another.” This is the sort of thing that never would have occurred to Kylo before his involvement with Dopheld; the lieutenant is encouraging thoughts about punishment, discipline, and reward that the knight is coming to find more and more natural.  
         Nodding, Dopheld admits, “That’s fair. I deserve it.”  
         Not ten minutes later, Dopheld is lying on the mattress, arms held above his head as his wrists are secured in cuffs looped around a slat in the bedframe. He’s watching Kylo intently as the knight tests the end of the crop against his own gloved palm.  
         “This is mine,” Kylo declares, sending the crop against the tender flesh of Dopheld’s inner thighs. The lieutenant shouts once, then pants as he tries to calm himself. “Your entire body. Isn’t it?”  
         “Yes, My Lord.”  
         “Tell me,” he demands as he lands the crop on Mitaka’s lower back, shoulders, and ass in a random order that would be impossible to predict.  
         Between blows, Dopheld breathes, “I’m yours. All yours. I belong to you.”  
         “Yes. To me and with me.” He leans over to speak into Dopheld’s ear. “Hux may borrow you from time to time, but I own you. And I intend to keep you.”  
         The tears gathering in Dopheld’s eyes leak across his cheeks at this declaration. It’s the closest thing he’s heard to an admission of love. And it may be as close as he’ll get. It will suffice. “Dayenu,” he whispers, more to himself than to Kylo.  
         “What was that?”  
         “Dayenu,” Mitaka repeats. “It’s from the Church liturgy.”  
         “What does it mean?”  
         “It means thank you for all you’ve done.”  
         “You’re more than welcome.” Sensing they’re done with violence for the evening, Kylo drops the crop and straddles Dopheld’s legs. He massages the man’s shoulders, back, buttocks. There will be significant bruising tomorrow. Every time Lieutenant Mitaka sits or stands, he’ll remember this. He’ll think of Kylo. The knight smiles as he wonders what ordinary people would think.  
         Good thing they aren’t ordinary.

 

Mitaka turns toward Ren and kisses his bare shoulder. “I’m sorry I took my time making up my mind.”  
         “No, I want you to be sure.” Kylo’s brow furrows. “And you are?”  
         “I’m sure I want to be here. I’m just not sure how to make it work.” He’s never lived with anyone other than family and dormitory mates; he doesn’t know how to share a space. Worried it’ll feel too close.  
         “That’s the fun. Figuring it out.”  
         “And you’d know this how?” Dopheld asks, knowing that neither of them has ever gotten this far with anyone else.  
         “I just do,” Kylo insists firmly.  
         Reading between the lines, Dopheld smirks. “The Force told you living together will be fun?”  
         “No. Well, maybe. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell where my feelings come from.”  
         Massaging his bruised thighs, Dopheld admits, “I sometimes have trouble feeling things at all.”  
         “What’s that like?”  
         With a frown, the lieutenant tries to verbalise the experience. “Like being numb. When one knows one oughtn’t. What’s it like feeling so much?”  
         Kylo sighs. “Like being on fire.”  
         “One of the things I appreciate about you is that when I’m with you I feel… awake again.” And technically speaking, it isn’t always pleasant, but even emotional discomfort can be a welcome respite from nothing at all. “Healthier.”  
         Brushing Mitaka’s hair off his forehead, Kylo knows there’s something else to this statement, an old ache deep below the surface. Somewhere behind Mitaka’s trouble sleeping is an injury the lieutenant isn’t prepared to show him. They’ve been together for half a year, and Kylo tells himself he shouldn’t be insulted by this reticence. That it isn’t about _him_. Still, it’s difficult, repeatedly running up against this distance between them. “I wish you would let me in.”  
         Mitaka bristles. “Into my mind?”  
         “No. The usual way. By talking.”  
         “We are talking. Aren’t we?”  
          _I suppose so._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the delay in updating. I got sidetracked with my project for Camp Nanowrimo (and met my word goal for the rough draft!). Also I've started using Scrivener for my stories as of yesterday, and I'm greatly enjoying it. But some of the formatting is different.
> 
> Anyway, here's some emotions. (Bonus points if you spot the Passover reference, because that holiday happened while I was writing this.)


	10. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for a flashback containing sex under the influence of stimulants, under-negotiated kink, and the unwanted use of a slur. If you don't want to see it, just skip the part at the end in italics.

Mitaka has stopped by General Hux’s office to hand off a stack of allocation requests pertaining to the Project-267 file. As Hux’s adjutant, he has the clearance to know the weapon is now secretly designated SK1, but he’s continuing to refer to it by its public name when speaking out loud.  
         The general glances up at him with a small, bewildered smile. “I see you submitted a Quarter Change request.”  
         “Yes, sir.”  
         Shrugging to show his lack of comprehension, Hux taps his tablet and says, “Well, whatever makes you happy, Lieutenant.” Another tap. “I’ve approved it. Congratulations, you now officially live with Darth Tantrum.”  
         Coughing politely into a gloved fist, Mitaka dares to say, “That isn’t exactly fair, sir. He hasn’t damaged any First Order property since—”  
         “Since you’ve been together,” Hux guesses.  
         “Yes.”  
         “Then I owe you my eternal gratitude.”  
         Dopheld isn’t sure where all this courage is coming from, but he asks, “I’d settle for a drink, General.”

 

After the drink, they rather predictably end up in Hux’s bedroom. The general stares at him in the low light and says, “I’d like to see you out of your uniform.”  
         “You want me to strip?”  
         “Yes. I feel you have me at a bit of a disadvantage. I haven’t seen you nude.”  
         Technically, Mitaka hasn’t seen Hux fully naked, either. He’s only seen him with trousers and briefs down to his ankles. But now Dopheld shrugs at the general’s request, thinking there’s no accounting for taste. He isn’t showy tonight (he doesn’t think Hux would particularly appreciate that), he just removes his clothes the way he would if alone. Except that he watches Hux watch him. And perhaps he’s imagining the flush on the general’s cheekbones, or perhaps the man is coming to associate Dopheld’s body with his own physical pleasure.  
         Soon he’s standing in nothing but his briefs and socks.  
         “Turn around,” Hux requests. As he complies, he hears a gasp behind him. “Dopheld. Your back.”  
         “What—Oh. Yes.”  
         “What happened?”  
         The lieutenant cranes his neck to assess the current state of the anatomic site in question. It isn’t particularly bad, just a few long stripes and some fading bruises. “Lord Ren happened. This is evidence of how we play sometimes.”  
         “Did he belt you?” The general knows what that looks like; he used to receive occasional lashings from his father.  
         “No, this is from the riding crop.”  
         “He has a riding crop?” Hux is trying to hold back judgement until he has more information to go on. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised after seeing Dopheld wear a collar for the knight, or the way Ren callously took pleasure from his mouth.  
         “Well, technically it’s mine. All the toys are. I have a collection I’ve put together over the years. To use with partners who don’t have any of their own. Like Ren.”  
         “Your arrangement really is fascinating.” He’s realizing that Mitaka wields more control than it appears at first glance. “So Ren didn’t… play like this before he met you?”  
         “No. But my kinks intrigued him.”  
         “And how exactly did you arrive at that topic of conversation? Most of the personnel on this ship are terrified of the bastard. He’s certainly attacked enough of them to merit that response.”  
         Mitaka blushes. “Actually, that’s how it began.”  
         Hux’s eyes widen, then narrow protectively. “When did he hurt you?”  
         “After General Organa’s fleet ran our blockade.”  
         “You were the one to inform him of that.”  
         “Yes, sir. And he dragged me across the room and choked me.” He shrugs, staring at his feet as it occurs to him that he hasn’t yet admitted the extent of his referenced kinks. “I enjoy being choked. So I responded in a way he wasn’t expecting.”  
         “It aroused you.”  
         “Yes. Terribly. Which surprised him so much he stopped and dismissed me. Later he apologised and wanted to ask about my reaction.”  
         “How… coincidental. And here I was, thinking that people had some nonverbal way of communicating their particular interests to potential partners.”  
         Dopheld admits, “That would be a good deal simpler.”  
         “Honestly, I think input from an aromantic engineer could only improve this system. Or rather, lack of one.”  
         Mitaka can’t let the wording go unremarked upon. “You didn’t say ‘asexual’, sir.”  
         “No. I’m… revising my terminology to incorporate new findings.”  
         The lieutenant can get on board the scientific jargon. “Would you care for some more data-points to plot, General?”  
         Hux smiles crookedly. “I wouldn’t object.” He motions for Dopheld to come closer.  
         Eagerly, Mitaka steps toward him.

 

A few day cycles later, Hux drops by Mitaka’s console. “Do you have the evening free? I’d like to have another one of those conversations with you.”  
         “Just the conversation? Or the aftermath as well?”  
         “Just the conversation for now, Dopheld.”  
         “Alright. I skipped lunch proper so I’ll most likely be famished when my shift ends. We could meet after dinner.”  
         “Oh. I was thinking we could talk over dinner. I know the rations for junior officers are adequate, but I imagine you’d appreciate something better every now and then.”  
         “Yes, thank you. That would be lovely. And Lord Ren has already begun to spoil me with food and drink. Although it would be nice to share a meal with someone who actually eats it himself.” The knight has a tendency to graze throughout the day rather than take proper meals.

  
After the soup course, Hux launches into the topic he had planned for the evening.  
         “Orientation,” he states by way of introduction. “Of the sexual variety.”  
         “Yes, sir.”  
         “Please address me as ‘Hux’ when we’re discussing matters like this.” He waits for Dopheld’s nod. “Thank you. Since I haven’t felt much attraction for specific people, I have difficulty understanding the concept of sexual orientation. I know it shows a degree of ignorance to ask people how they became sure of their homosexuality, but I also don’t have a grasp on how others can be sure of their heterosexuality. Often those words seem to me like labels for the sake of labelling. Isn’t bisexuality far more common, at least in humans?”  
         Mitaka blinks, stunned by the amount of thought Hux has obviously put into this. “Wow. Hux. I’m not sure I’m properly equipped to answer in a satisfactory way. Since I’m not a psychologist, sociologist, or anthropologist, I can only respond from my own experience.” Dopheld takes a pause to sip his wine. “Unlike what many other gay people will tell you, I didn’t always know I was homosexual. As a child, I always rather assumed that I would date females and eventually marry one. My parents and all my friends’ parents were straight. Homosexuality wasn’t decriminalised on my home planet until I had already left for Arkanis. And while I know now there must have been plenty of gay relationships, I wasn’t aware that was even an option until I hit adolescence. Oddly enough, I knew about asexuality first. I believe a good number of homosexuals on Salient used that label as a cover to explain why they weren’t married and reproducing.”  
         “When did you discover homosexuality as a concept?”  
         “When my libido kicked in, I started seeing most social interactions as at least potentially sexual in nature. I observed one of my teachers with his best friend—mind you, they were just talking and having lunch—but I came to see what they were refraining from doing. By that time, I knew what couples looked like.”  
         “And that was when you realised it about yourself?”  
         Dopheld shakes his head. “No, far from it. But I was… mesmerised by the idea of it. So, I did what any thirteen-year-old would do. I went to the holonet.” He watches Hux smirk. “Our local version was heavily censored, but I did discover that homosexuality was in fact real. Real but a threat to the fabric of society.”  
         Hux nods with deadpan seriousness. “Of course.”  
         “That was around the time I started masturbating. At first my fantasies were remarkably vague. Everything was new and startling and I didn’t need much stimulation to push myself to climax. Things began changing when I started dating. I took one of my female friends out several times. We spent a great deal of time kissing in the backseat of my speeder. I know, very prosaic. I was terribly nervous and awkward, but she wasn’t much better. I figured I’d eventually become comfortable.”  
         With his head cocked in curiosity, Hux asks, “Did you enjoy it? With her?”  
         “Well, we didn’t do much besides kiss. Although one time she felt me through my pants and I…” Dopheld coughs politely into his hand. “As I said, not much stimulus was required back then.”  
         “How old were you at that point?”  
         “Fifteen, I think. By the time I was seventeen, I was watching a significant amount of pornography. All straight—although still illegal for someone my age, of course. Looking back now, I shake my head at all the tell-tale signs I failed to notice at the time. The fact that I mostly focussed on the men, that I preferred scenes where the females were quieter so I could hear the males while they enjoyed sex. The absolute necessity of the men finishing where I could see it…” Shaking his head, Dopheld concludes, “But I interpreted everything through a lens of heteronormativity. Which, as you pointed out, is not a particularly accurate lens for humanity.”  
         “When did you finally interact sexually with another male?”  
         “Seventeen. He was another friend. After his birthday party, I stayed late to help tidy up. He launched himself at me in the kitchen. We kissed, and fondled each other, and very quickly we both came. Then we didn’t talk for weeks. I didn’t react well. I didn’t know how to react.”  
         “What a waste.”  
         “Yes, well, it was an adjustment for both of us. Especially for me, since he’d at least been considering the idea that he was attracted to males as well as females. For a while we’d occasionally get off together, and the whole time I pretended I was only doing it because I was desperate and it felt good.” He shrugs. “After several months, I concluded that not only did it feel good, it felt perfect.” Tipping back his wine glass, he smiles sadly at the general. “Until he cheated on me with multiple mutual friends, male and female. Then I shipped off to Arkanis.”  
         “So in a way you stumbled upon your orientation.”  
         “That’s an accurate characterisation, yes.”  
         They continue working on cleaning their plates in companionable silence for some time. “What about your kinks? Did you always know about them, at least in a general sense?”  
         “Maker, no. I was even more roundabout discovering them.”  
         “Tell me about the start of that process,” Hux instructs as he refills their glasses with wine. Dopheld has no idea what vintage it is, but easily guesses it’s far outside his own budget.  
         He chuckles quietly. “Entering the Academy was unexpectedly liberating for me.” Noting Hux’s pointedly surprised look, he continues, “I know, considering how regimented everything was. Except for one particular aspect of our lives, that is. Suddenly no one cared what any of the cadets were up to sexually, as long as it was consensual and off-the-clock. I had friends who weren’t ashamed of having casual sex. Three who had a committed relationship with each other. Several of my classmates didn’t bother with labels at all. It was incredible. Anyway, I started seeing one classmate regularly. He was a redhead, in fact, although not really a ginger. Perhaps that was part of my initial attraction to you.”  
         “Did you two date? Or have a more casual sort of thing?”  
         “Somewhere in between. We spent time together outside of bed, but we didn’t have a name for our relationship. After we’d had sex a few times, once we were becoming comfortable with one another, we took a weekend off campus. Spent it in a hotel. The first night, I was riding him and he got this odd look in his eyes and said, ‘Let me try something. Tell me if you don’t like it.’”  
         “He choked you,” Hux easily guesses.  
         “Indeed he did. My response blindsided me.” Dopheld sets down his glass and looks directly at the man across the table. “I came within seconds. Otherwise untouched.”  
         Hux laughs. “I assume he was impressed.”  
         The lieutenant nods. “He just looked at me and said, ‘That went well.’ After that, we started trying other things. Basically anything we saw on the net that caught our attention.” Smiling now, he thanks Providence for uncensored pornography feeds. Without the ideas they brought, many of his most enjoyable nights would have been a great deal duller.  
         “So why aren’t you married to this man now?” Noting Dopheld’s rather pensive expression, he adds, “Did he find someone else?”  
         “No,” Dopheld says with a shake of his head, “Not someone. Something. Glitterstim, to be specific.”  
         “The drug.”  
         “Yes. I’m sure you’ve read my personnel file and noticed that I admitted to using glitter myself a few times. That was with Eidar.”  
         “I’ve wondered about that, but I wasn’t going to bring it up.”  
         “I didn’t much enjoy it. Makes me irritable and anxious. It made Eidar voluble and a little… cold. It got to the point where I didn’t want to have sex when he was on it, and he didn’t want not to. Impasse reached. End of the arrangement.”

 

 _Eidar is going to town on Mitaka’s body, using muscular arms to move him around however he wants. And Dopheld is certainly enjoying the things the other boy is saying to him; he’s recently discovered his insult kink._  
_“You’re so easy, Doph. Can’t believe you just send me a message saying ‘Come fuck me’ in the middle of the week. Don’t have anything better to do than take a dick up your slutty hole, do you? Cheap little bitch. Gonna drill that ass until you beg me to come in it. Yes. Take it.”_  
_He takes it all, gladly, moaning his agreement and encouragement. Until…_  
_“Dirty little faggot.”_  
_Mitaka makes a strangled little noise. “Don’t—”_  
_Eidar laughs with callous abandon the way he only does when he's high.“Ooh, was that too much, you pathetic cunt?”_  
_He nods in all seriousness. “Yes, it was.”_  
_“Deal with it. I’ll call you what I want.”_  
_They don’t have a safeword; Dopheld Mitaka hasn’t learned their necessity yet. Rather, he’s learning it right now, as he begins to cry silently while Eidar continues to fuck him. And repeats that word, that one thing that Dopheld never wants to be called. He tries to block it out, to focus only on the sensation of being taken roughly. It doesn’t work. The word is the only thing he can hear, even after Eidar has stopped talking entirely and is only letting out soft grunts as he approaches release._  
_Dopheld still comes, but he feels ashamed of the climax even during it._  
_After, they don’t talk about it. They don’t talk about anything consequential these days._


	11. XI

Dopheld is having lunch with Hux in the general’s office. They’re eating bite-sized rice-based items. Traditionally these are a finger food, but Hux insists on eating his with utensils, citing the improving influence of civilisation.  
         “May I ask a brief personal question, Dopheld?”  
         “Of course,” he says before popping the last piece into his mouth.  
         “What is it like, being inside someone?”  
         “Oh,” Mitaka stalls, glancing down at his plate while he chews. “I’ve never done that.”  
         Hux blinks in surprise. “Never?”  
         “No.”  
         “Do you not want to?”  
         Dopheld swallows, hard. “I’m not sure. Look, I have my preferences. And I have enough trouble receiving blowjobs.”  
         Hux reaches across the desk to brush a finger against Dopheld’s lower lip, removing a grain of rice. Softly, he asks, “Why is that?”  
         “It’s… I’m not sure. I get nervous and can’t enjoy it properly.”  
         “Is it the anxiety?”  
         Dopheld’s forehead creases at the introduction of this topic. “A bit. And I know you know. But even so, it’s difficult to talk about.”  
         “You’re still attending therapy?”  
         Mitaka bristles and shrinks back, both physically and mentally. “Of course. For what it’s worth.” Letting out a bitter, derisive laugh, he admits, “I’d rather have the conditioning again.”  
         “We don’t do that anymore,” Hux says with a frown.  
         Dopheld snorts. “I’m not sure why not. It worked.”  
         “It doesn’t solve anything.”  
         The lieutenant pushes his chair back. “Neither does therapy. But at least conditioning didn’t give me a mood hangover for a full day. I was functional. You know,” he starts, thinks better of it, and shuts his mouth.  
         The general tilts his head in curiosity. “What?”  
         Shutting his eyes, Dopheld admits, “Sometimes I think I’d be better off asking Ren to wipe my memory.”  
         “I’m sure he wouldn’t do that.”  
         Dopheld nods once. “I know. That’s the reason I haven’t asked.” The only reason, really.  
         The general selects a post-meal cigarette from his case. “I can’t say I understand.”  
         “No.”  
         “I never had that reaction to my training.”  
         “That’s because you’re naturally…” His words fade.  
         Hux straightens, awaiting an insult. He’s ready to be called a sociopath; it wouldn’t be the first or even the tenth time. “Naturally what, Dopheld?”  
         “Loyal and dedicated.”  
         “Ah. No, I don’t think that’s quite it. Because you’re loyal and dedicated.”  
         “Well, then. Why didn’t you have a disordered response?”  
         “Because I was already disordered, Dopheld.”  
         “As if anything about you could be less than orderly.”  
         It still isn’t an insult, although it sounds like one. “Alright. Pathologic, then.” Hux repeatedly taps his cigarette on the metal case it came from. It seems he’s forgotten about smoking it. “It isn’t normal to kill seven classmates and walk away psychologically unscathed.”  
         “Hm. I suppose not. But it is helpful.”  
         “I won’t deny that.” Hux sighs. “Does Ren know?”  
         Mitaka’s fingertips twitch. “He knows I don’t sleep much. That I killed people. That I don’t want to discuss it.”  
         “Why not the rest?”  
         Dopheld tugs at his hair. “I’m not ready to tell him I’m ill.”  
         “Will you ever be?” the general asks with a piercing gaze from his blue eyes.  
         “I don’t know, Hux,” Mitaka says wearily. “What I do know is that I don’t need relationship advice from a man who’s never even kissed anyone.” With that he stands up and brushes down the front of his tunic.  
         Hux looks as though he the words were a slap across the face. Immediately Mitaka knows that he should apologise, but he’s far too incensed to do so. Instead he turns and leaves.

 

At 1930, Dopheld is called in to his therapist’s office from the waiting room. He’s been attending these sessions at least weekly since arriving on the _Finalizer_ , and tries not to be too bitter about the fact that it’s mandatory. Part of the contract he signed when Hux brought him onto his team. ( _I, the undersigned, agree to attend and participate in psychotherapy as deemed necessary as well as adhere to any medication regimen ordered by my health care team._ ) He understands why he was required to sign the document; otherwise he’d be unlikely to show up. Besides, he rather likes his psychiatrist. They’ve become familiar enough with one another to dispense with small talk and pay attention to the reasons why Mitaka’s here.  
         “How has your week gone, Dopheld?” Doctor Opanna asks, shutting the door and waving Dopheld over to the usual chair.  
         Sitting down, the lieutenant gives a vague smile and answers, “Oh, decently enough.”  
         “How have you been sleeping since your change in quarters?”  
         “About the same. Last night I was fidgeting, so went to the couch because didn’t want to bother him. I got over four hours in. Only restless twelve times, and I didn’t wake up until the alarm went off.”  
         “That’s much better than usual. And your relationship?”  
         “Good.”  
         “Enjoying the cohabitation?”  
         With a wider smile, Dopheld admits, “It isn’t too different, really. I’d been spending most nights with him anyway. But it’s much more convenient to have everything in one place. Although I’m still trying to decide how best to organise my drawers. I never guessed how many robes he has, since they all look alike. I suppose he must think the same thing of my uniforms.”  
         Opanna nods. “My wife still doesn’t understand why I have so many identical dress socks. The mysteries of humanity, I guess. Have you spoken to him about your difficulty sleeping?”  
         “Yes, but not about why. I’m not ready.”  
         This is a recurrent topic: Why Dopheld has yet to tell Kylo about his diagnosis or the history behind it. But Opanna doesn’t harp on it; they’ll likely come back around to it when they finish reviewing his week. “Any issues with hypervigilance or anger?”  
         Dopheld sighs. “Yes. I snapped at a friend today. He was offering some well-meaning advice about, well, actually, the fact that I haven’t told Kylo about my diagnosis.”  
         “So your friend knows?”  
         “Only because he had to review my personnel file for work.”  
         “Ah.” Diplomatically, Opanna doesn’t inquire further about this; he must know that this means the unnamed friend is a superior officer. And two guesses as to who that might be—and the second doesn’t count. “Alright, so how did you respond to this advice?”  
         “I said something rather cruel to him.”  
         “Do you mind my asking what you said?”  
         “Well. He’s asexual and aromantic. I said that I didn’t require unsolicited advice from someone who had no personal experience.”  
         “How did he react?”  
         Mitaka takes this moment to closely inspect his belt buckle as a means of avoiding eye contact. “Not well, even though he didn’t say anything. Then I just walked away.”  
         “How do you feel about this now?”  
         “Quite badly, of course. I could tell by the look on his face that I’d hurt him.”  
         “This friend may not have sexual or romantic relationships, but that doesn’t mean lessons learned in friendships can’t be applied elsewhere.”  
         Pressing his index fingers against his temples, Dopheld finally looks up to admit, “I know! And I’m sorry. I felt attacked, and I know his point was valid. Honestly, I knew that even while he was saying it. Which is probably why I became so defensive.”  
         “Why do you think you haven’t told Kylo about your diagnosis?” He’s asked this several times, and each time Dopheld gives a slightly different reason. All his explanations are at least partially true; together they may add up to a more comprehensively accurate picture.  
         “I’m afraid he’ll see me as damaged. Like he ought to treat me more carefully. And that he perhaps won’t want to… do some of the things we’ve been enjoying.”  
         “You’re referring to certain of the sexual activities you’re not willing to share with me.” This is one subject Dopheld hasn’t been comfortable broaching, and Opanna hasn’t insisted on details. Despite that, Mitaka is reasonably certain that by now the doctor could more or less accurately guess what he and Kylo get up to.  
         “That is correct.”  
         “Do you think there might be any possible benefits of sharing this information with him?”  
         “No. Other than no longer feeling guilty about hiding it.”  
         “Tell me, hypothetically speaking, if Kylo had a history of trauma and shared it with you—”  
         Mitaka cuts in. “He has.” Although they hadn’t spoken about it at length, Kylo had volunteered more details than Dopheld had. What exactly had he said to Kylo, anyway? _They were in my way._ Precisely the sort of thing he’d been trained to think, although that viewpoint had never truly took.  
         “Well, then, it isn’t just hypothetical. How did that change the way you view him?”  
         “It didn’t, really. I was sorry that it happened, but glad he told me and… Oh. Oh, I see. But he doesn’t have a mental illness from it.”  
         “I realise that this is your first relationship since developing PTSD, and that you’ve never been in this position where you need to decide how much to share and when to share it.”  
         “Logically speaking, I know I need to tell him.”  
         “When do you think would be an ideal time?”  
         “I… Never isn’t an option, is it? Because I suppose I want him to know, but I don’t want to say it.” Drawing in a long sigh, he concludes, “The longer I take, the more disappointed he’s going to be that I didn’t tell him earlier.” He wrings his hands in agitation. “And now I’m feeling guilty about feeling ashamed of my illness. That’s hardly healthy.”  
         “At least you recognise what you’re feeling.”  
         Immediately, Dopheld argues, “But that doesn’t fix anything! It’s just thinking in circles!” Blinking away tears, he says, “I’ve said it before, but I continue to wish you’d just recondition me.”  
         “I know, Dopheld. But that’s only a cheap, temporary fix that encourages pathological viewpoints. Besides, it runs counter to my professional oath.”  
         “I felt so much better when I didn’t care. When the boys I killed were failures and I was the stronger one. I never believed it fully, but I did use to sleep through the night.”  
         “It’s possible that your symptoms now are worse because you didn’t deal with the trauma properly soon after it occurred.”  
         “Oh. Deferring it might have exacerbated the problem?”  
         “Yes.”  
         “Well,” Mitaka concludes, “Damn.”

 

“Here are the requisition reports you requested, sir.”  
         Hux nods. “Thank you, Lieutenant. And what’s this?”  
         “It’s another caf, sir,” Mitaka explains, handing over the cup. “I noticed you were running low.”  
          A sustained eyebrow lift follows. “Thank you?” he asks in puzzlement. Mitaka doesn’t usually play the role of PA these days. He’d tried it shortly after arriving on the _Finalizer_ , but within a few weeks Hux had gently informed him that fetching him caffeinated beverages wasn’t part of his job description.  
         “What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry for my outburst yesterday.”  
         Hux nods briefly, thinking that he’d much prefer Mitaka’s very low-key version of outbursts to say, Lord Kylo Ren’s, for example. “I know. Although you were right, it wasn’t my place to suggest how you ought to conduct your relationship with Ren.”  
         Mitaka shakes his head. “I’m not sure that’s true. It might be useful to have an outsider’s input from time to time. Because I believe you had a point. If I’m dating the man and now living with him, discussing these things isn’t going to become any easier unless I start getting some practice in.”  
         “You’re probably going to get angry with me again, but did you by any chance have an appointment recently?”  
         The lieutenant lets out a frustrated groan. “For someone who technically has no idea what’s going on, you’re annoyingly insightful. Yes, I attended a therapy session yesterday.” He looks at his hands, cracks his knuckles. “You know, sometimes I miss being told how to think.”  
         “You’re talking about conditioning again.”  
         “Yes.”  
         “You’re too intelligent to allow that to work for long.” Noting Mitaka’s weary look, he continues. “What? That was the problem with conditioning our officers, especially the better ones. Critical thinking skills undermined the entire process. Eventually they’d reject it, and it would lead to a complete mental collapse.” Hux sighs. “I think I ought to share a report with you. Allow me…” He reaches for his tablet and begins jabbing at the screen with his stylus. “I’ll forward it to you now. Please promise me you’ll read it. In its entirety.”  
         Mitaka glances at his wrist comm when the file arrives. “Sir, it’s over a thousand pages.”  
         “Well, you don’t need to read the footnotes or appendices. Without those, it’s probably only seven hundred and some.”  
         “Still…”  
         “Shut up, Lieutenant. I’m assigning it to you.”  
         Mitaka’s mouth closes. He nods. “Yes, sir.”

 

He decides not to do his required reading at home, just knowing that would be a bad idea. Innocent questions (What are you reading, Phel?) would lead to either a too-early conversation or an argument. So, Mitaka tells Ren he’ll be home later, that he has some reading to catch up on. He heads to the library and finds a secluded desk on which to prop his tablet.  
         “Long-term Effects of Intensive Conditioning/Reconditioning Among Cadets and Commissioned Officers: a Retrospective Cohort Study.”  
         The report was compiled only three years ago, although High Command had been quick to respond to its findings and conclusions. Mitaka wonders how much of that had been due to Hux’s insistence, easily visualising the general’s argument that the Order’s officers were a resource not to be damaged carelessly.  
         Dopheld skims over the introduction, figuring that he doesn’t require a detailed overview of the reconditioning program for cadets and COs. He can recall it quite vividly without any help. The first statistic that surprises him is how commonly it was employed. Since participation in the program had been strictly confidential, until now Mitaka had no way of knowing that one in twenty cadets had attended at least one session. However, he does snort to find that Arkanis had the highest rates of any academy (surpassing ten percent in some years). Despite the fact that he’d received more sessions than most, Dopheld Mitaka feels a small but noticeable sense of relief at discovering that he’s far from alone.

 

> _Subjects reported a variety of responses at this juncture, although clear common themes appeared. The most frequently expressed statements are outlaid in Table 32-7._
> 
> _Persistent sense of shame or self-disappointment: 72.6%_  
>  _Considering oneself a failure as an officer: 68.2%_  
>  _Loss of confidence in FO goals: 55.2%_  
>  _Horror at own deeds or feelings of “collusion”: 45.1%_  
>    
>  _Effects of these responses on the subject’s lives varied widely, although the majority (78.5%) of subjects demonstrated a moderate to severe impact on their global functioning. Among those individuals, the most common problems were:_
> 
> _Trouble focussing on or carrying out duties: 76%_  
>  _Sleep disorder (insomnia or hypersomnia): 61%_  
>  _Nightmares/flashbacks: 48%_  
>  _Loss of appetite: 22%_  
>  _Impaired impulse control: 64%_  
>  _Diagnostic criteria met for anxiety disorder: 54%_  
>  _Diagnostic criteria met for major depression: 52%_  
>  _Diagnostic criteria met for new substance use disorder: 24%_  
>  _Suicidal ideation: 47%_  
>  _Suicidal intent: 26%_  
>  _Suicidal gesture or attempt: 18%*_  
>  _Successful suicide: 7%*_  
>  _*Confirmed cases only. Inclusion of suspected cases yields rates up to 41% (gesture/attempt) and 23% (suicide)._
> 
> _Medical discharge rates were found to be 863% (98% CI: 650-1200%) those of cohort-matched controls. Dishonourable discharge rates were 515% (98% CI: 400-725%) of cohort-matched controls. All-cause mortality was found to be exceptionally high among subjects, indicating that high-risk behaviours, poor health habits, self-harm, and suicide were in fact even higher than per subjects’ own reports._

         Dopheld sits back in his chair and reflects. He lists his own symptoms: insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety disorder. Additionally, it could be argued that he has trouble with impulse control when it comes to sex, but he knows that started before he killed Gildan.  
         He wonders if he should feel lucky. After all, he isn’t suicidal and he hasn’t developed an addiction. He’ll have to give it some thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Mitaka expresses some of my own conflicted thoughts on psychotherapy. Also, retrospective cohort studies!  
> And do I get half of my supporting character names from prescription brands? Why yes, yes I do.


	12. XII

Lieutenant Mitaka stops by the general’s office the next morning before the weekly strategy meeting. This is usually when they review the minutes from the previous meeting and make last minute adjustments to the current agenda. But today, Hux asks him if he’s had a chance to look over the report on conditioning.  
         “Well, what are your thoughts?” the redhead inquires.  
         Mitaka shrugs, hugging his tablet to his chest. “At least I’m not suicidal,” he pronounces guardedly.  
         “See? I’m glad we didn’t quite drive you past a breaking point.”  
         The lieutenant manages a weak smile. “I’m still not thrilled about therapy.”  
         “No, I’m sure you aren’t.”  
         “Have you ever been?”  
         Shaking his head, Hux says, “No, I haven’t had the displeasure. Although I know I must have a personality disorder, from what I’ve gathered through informal research, there isn’t much in the way of effective treatment. It seems psychotherapy wouldn’t do me much good.”  
         With a furrowed brow, Dopheld asks, “Personality disorder?”  
         “Yes. Antisocial type. Also known as sociopathy.”  
         “I don’t see it.”  
         “You’re being polite again, Dopheld. But I know I don’t operate the way others do. Simply put, I don’t feel things very deeply. Although I’ve learned by studying people, I do not innately grasp their motivations or emotions. I’ve little patience for sentimentality or weakness, I have never felt shame other than from my own imperfections, and I feel no compunction in manipulating those around me for the outcomes I desire.”  
         “Is it possible you’re simply on the autistic spectrum?”  
         “Oh, I probably am that as well. I’ve long recognised that I’m vastly different from most people, and I’ve spent a good deal of time reflecting on it. However, I am highly functional and I’m not a monster.”  
         “Despite leaving seven cadets dead by graduation and currently building a weapon that can destroy solar systems.”  
         Hux lets out a small cough that sounds almost shy. “Well, yes. Besides that.” Long ago he learned not to hurt people needlessly—not because it upsets him directly, but because it’s ineffective leadership. Hux may not feel the pain of others, but neither does he enjoy it. “Now, we have twelve minutes before the strategy briefing. Would you care to put your mouth on me?”  
         As though taken aback, Mitaka answers, “Sir, are you manipulating me?”  
         “Of course, Dopheld.”  
         “I appreciate your honesty, General.”  
         Wordlessly, Hux slides his chair back and coolly waits for Dopheld to approach.

 

“I’m curious about penetration,” Hux announces over a private lunch in his office.  
         The look Dopheld gives in response is priceless. “Personally? Or is your interest more of an academic nature?”  
         “Academic, at least at this juncture.” The general pops a grape into his mouth and bites down while he awaits his lieutenant’s response.  
         Blinking, Mitaka asks, “What would you like to know?”  
         “I’m aware that you don’t mind pain, that in fact you can appreciate it. But that doesn’t explain the fact that many people—and most of them I imagine are not masochists—enjoy being on the receiving end of anal sex. So, does it always hurt?”  
         The lieutenant stares past his half-eaten sandwich. “No, not at all. I mean, when I started it did. The first time was agony, and honestly I’m not sure what made me decide to try it again. Although looking back on it now, the pain was at least partially due to the fact that we had no idea what we were doing and didn’t prep.”  
         “‘Prep’?” Hux inquires.  
         Giving up on eating before this conversation is over, Dopheld explains, “Yes, with fingers and a generous amount of lubricant.”  
         “Hm. I noticed, though, in one of your scenes with Ren… He didn’t do that.”  
         “No. I think that time I’d gotten ready beforehand. By myself. But I’ve reached the point where I can often take someone, smaller than him of course, will minimal fuss.” For example, he thinks he could take Hux without it causing much pain.  
         “Does the sphincter… hmm.” He appears to be searching for a word. “…Loosen with experience?”  
         With a shake of his head, Mitaka answers, “Not at baseline, no. But it is a muscle, and one learns to relax.”  
         “This is all so fascinating. Alright, I understand that it doesn’t always hurt. But beyond that, it must feel somewhat pleasant. The look on your face, when Ren is inside you with that _huge_ penis…”  
         “More than somewhat pleasant, Hux. I mean, I wouldn’t recommend a partner of Ren’s size to a beginner. But I can’t really describe the sensation of having one’s body filled by someone else. Besides, there’s a thing called the prostate.”  
         “That useless and inexplicably placed gland?” As far as Hux understands it, the role of the prostate is to eventually become enlarged if not outright cancerous. One more sign that a higher power either doesn’t exist or is actively hostile.  
         “It’s hardly useless when someone who knows what he’s doing is pressing on it.”  
         “Ah. It’s good, then?”  
         “You have no idea, Hux. The first time someone did that to me, I nearly proposed marriage to him on the spot.”  
         Hux shrugs as if to say, _I’ll have to take your word for it._ They finish lunch and head back to the bridge together.

* * *

 Kylo is off on another mission, this one expected to take several days. It leaves Dopheld Mitaka quite bored, something he rarely used to feel when alone. The first evening he spends in bed, catching up on the news briefs of the past few weeks. Little holds his attention; it seems he’s already missing physical human contact. It isn’t just the sex either, it’s the lack of another warm body on the mattress, or the ability to turn and ask a question or murmur a comment. Smiling vaguely, Dopheld decides he’s become a bit domesticated.  
         This is something he never expected to happen. He was raised to believe that household partnerships could only exist between a man and a woman, and even after he learned about homosexuality, it was clear that such relationships were only fleeting encounters for the purpose of physical fulfillment alone. And although he’s recognised this for the lie it is, it informed all of his previous relationships until now. He never planned for the future with other men; he only attempted to enjoy what little time they were to have together.  
         But here he is, propped up against his pillow and wishing his boyfriend were here so they could discuss the news.  
         How very strange his life has become.

 

The second evening when Hux invites him over for another private dinner, Dopheld gratefully accepts. Although he’ll be happy if anything sexual occurs, he knows that at the very least he can count on a good meal and better conversation.  
         As usual, the general doesn’t disappoint. They spend most of the dinner talking about various religions of Outer Rim worlds and the cultural difficulties they pose. As the meal winds down, Hux pours each of them a brandy and they move to to the couch.  
         “About our conversation from the other day…” Hux abandons the rest of the sentence in favour of simply looking at Dopheld with guarded hope.  
         “Would you like to penetrate me, sir?” This has to be the first time Dopheld has asked anyone this question when both parties were fully clothed. They haven’t even touched each other yet, except when the general handed off the glass of brandy.  
         The redhead nods quickly, then frowns on further thought. “Yes, I think so.” He puts a hand on the back of Dopheld’s neck and toys with the edge of his hair. The lieutenant leans into his touch. “But I’d have no idea where to even start, much less how to follow through.”  
         “It comes with practice.”  
         “I’ve been watching that vid of you and Ren almost obsessively. How do you two figure out where on your bodies to touch each other? What to do next? When and how to change the pace?” He shakes his head. “It doesn’t seem scripted, yet it looks so fluid. Like an improvised dance.”  
         “That’s a rather good way of putting it, sir.”  
         “But I don’t dance. Or do anything artistic.”  
         “I beg to disagree, General.”  
         He cocks his head to the side in invitation. “Is that so, Lieutenant? I’m sure you’re about to explain.”  
         “Yes. I’ve seen you direct battles. That isn’t scripted either, but you respond based on subtle cues, the ebb and flow of power, and there’s a sort of rhythm beneath it all. And you tap into it very naturally.”  
         Hux pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fantastic. Now I’m going to start seeing sex as a game of strategy, a proxy for warfare.” He’s suddenly concerned that he might become much more interested in these activities if he views them in such a light.  
         “But it is.”  
         “I’m sure that’s just a metaphor.”  
         “It’s a very good one, you’ll find. Although with sex, both parties can—and should—win.”  
         Hux sighs in resignation, but he gives Mitaka a hungry look at the same time. “I’d like you to show me what I’ve been missing all these years.”  
         With a shy smile, Dopheld leaves the sofa and reaches for his satchel.  
         “Where are you going, Dopheld? Have you changed your mind?” He sounds lost, concerned that he’s said or done something to lose Mitaka’s interest.  
         The lieutenant laughs aloud, which is probably not the kindest response. But Hux’s questions struck him as touchingly authentic and naïve. “Not at all, sir. I’m fetching lubricant.” He’s been carrying it to every meeting with Hux for over a month now. Which has been somewhat presumptuous, but he’d hate to be caught without should the opportunity eventually present itself. As it just has.  
         The general shakes his head in disbelief as Mitaka places the bottle on the end table. “I will admit that I fail to see how great this act can be if it requires a foreign substance to be able to insert Tab A into Slot B.”  
         “I certainly hope that’s the last time anyone refers to my arse as Slot B. Otherwise I might have to be sick on everything you own.” He’d start by retching into the general’s hat, a move that would certainly make his intended point.  
         “I apologise,” Hux says, managing to sound genuine despite a rather cruel smirk. “So what do I do?”  
         “Go to the bed and lie down on it.”  
         The general obeys his orders, stripping off his uniform on the way. Reclining against the pillows, he inquires, “And now?”  
         “Nothing.” Mitaka is leaning against the doorframe, lube in hand. “Stay where you are and enjoy it.”  
         “Are you sure?”  
         The lieutenant nods and removes his own uniform. Without another word, he kneels beside Hux and pours lubricant into his palm. After twisting a wet hand around Hux’s dick, he reaches the other behind him and works two fingers in at once. The general watches him gasp. Mitaka can’t take his eyes off the redhead, can’t believe his luck. But then he’s straddling Hux’s waist, angling his hips, and plunging downwards. The general makes a strangled noise. When he’s all the way down, Dopheld asks, “How’s that, sir?”  
         “ _Quite_ pleasant.” The emphasis on the first word is unmistakable.  
         Mitaka nods in acknowledgement and rolls his hips a single time to test the position.  
         “Oh,” is all Hux says. “Oh, I see.” He stares at Mitaka helplessly. “Where do I put my hands during this?”  
         “Anywhere you want, General. But please keep them on me.”  
         The redhead experiments, starting with his palms flat against Dopheld’s chest. They wander to the man’s ass before settling on his hips. A sigh escapes him. “I can’t believe I’m finally doing this.”  
         Dopheld smiles sweetly. “Neither can I. At times I still have trouble believing that I’m sleeping with Kylo Ren. Now you, on top of that… I’m very fortunate, sir. Thank you for allowing me this privilege.” This man who wields such power is touching Dopheld with nearly unbearable gentleness. He hasn’t been treated this way in years; he didn’t imagine he’d appreciate it so much.  
         Hux snorts lightly in surprise and reaches up to stroke Mitaka’s cheek. “I was about to thank you, Dopheld. For teaching me. After all this time, I figured that I’d never find someone patient enough to put up with my inexperience. You know, you’re quite a remarkable man.”  
         Mitaka smiles at him genuinely. “Thank you, sir.” He’s tempted to kiss his superior, but thinks better of it.  
         He cocks his head. “This is very different from the way Lord Ren has you, is it not?”  
         “Yes,” Mitaka admits. “You’ve seen that we’re rougher with each other. I’d be happy to try that sort of thing with you, too, if you’d like. But… The first time…”  
         “My first time.”  
         The lieutenant has to correct him. “Our first time, yes. Just enjoy it.” With that, Dopheld speeds up his rocking. Hux’s hands grip him tighter.  
         “You’re so _warm_ ,” Hux breathes. “Not much longer now, Dopheld.”  
         “Good. Whenever you’d like, sir.”  
         Even though he technically doesn’t know what he’s doing, Hux’s hips tilt up in time to Dopheld’s bouncing. “Is this…?” he starts tentatively.  
         “Sir?”  
         Hux places a palm against Mitaka’s cheek. “Is this alright for you? I know it isn’t how you generally—”  
         “Yes, _sir_ ,” Dopheld interrupts insistently. It’s nice to choose the pace for once, to have the luxury of focussing on his own sensations. He’s riding in earnest now, Hux rising to meet his falls. “Better than alright. Please, General…” he pants. “Come in me. I want to feel you.”  
         Hux responds viscerally to Mitaka’s shameless plea of need. He wants to satisfy the lieutenant, wants to perform well. But more than that, he simply _wants_. His whole body is aching in a way he didn’t know it could. It’s overwhelming, and he still can’t imagine doing this often, but right now it’s perfect. A prickling sweat breaks out across his forehead and along his collarbone as he fucks up into Mitaka’s close heat. “Dopheld,” he moans, shooting into his lieutenant’s body.  
         “Thank you, sir,” Mitaka responds, and Hux doesn’t understand why the man is thanking _him_ , but the look on his face tells him not to argue. The young man is clearly enjoying the sensation the general is providing.  
         “So good,” he whispers, tracing his fingertips across Mitaka’s hipbones. It may have taken him thirty odd years to get to this point, but he’s beginning to see why people spend so much time and effort on sex.  
         Dopheld braces himself with one hand on Hux’s shoulder and dismounts carefully. “May I?” he asks with a demure gesture towards his own erection.  
         “Of course. Let me know if I can help.”  
         “You’ve already helped so much.” Dopheld lies back and strokes himself quickly. It won’t take much more. And then, quite unexpectedly, Hux is leaning over him, breathing into his ear.  
         “Come for me, you sweet whore.”  
         “Sir!” Dopheld shouts, pushed over the brink by the general’s words. As he comes down from his high, he suspects he was just manipulated for his _own_ benefit.

 

Smoking by the viewport after Dopheld leaves, Hux tries to place the origin of his subtle disquiet. The evening had gone very well, he finally gave up his virginity, and he’d like to do it again sometime. Perhaps this could become a weekly thing. He thinks he could manage once a week.  
         Yet.  
         Still.  
         His stomach twists at the remembered pleasure of filling Dopheld’s body, first with his own, then with his release. The unfamiliar yet comfortable feeling of fitting somewhere so warm and intimate…  
          _Oh. There’s the issue._  
         Dopheld has never felt that with anyone. Hux’s brow furrows. Every man Mitaka has been with has penetrated him, and never the other way around. Obviously the man loves receiving, there’s no question about that, but he’s only given himself. Never taken. Dopheld Mitaka is a study in undemanding generosity, in attentive service. And he’s found great pleasure in it, but perhaps he’d also enjoy being on top.  
         Finishing his cigarette, General Hux concludes that if he ever receives, he wants it to be with Dopheld Mitaka on the other end.

 

 

 


	13. Family

Dopheld has just returned home from his shift. He switches into his workout clothes, planning on heading to the gym before dinner. But when he’s lacing his sneakers, there’s the buzz of an incoming holo call.  
         Glancing at his comm on the table, Dopheld immediately frowns and his back straightens.  
         “The general?” Kylo asks from behind him, noting the way Mitaka has more or less snapped to attention.  
         “No. My parents.” He stands, holding the comm delicately as though it might bite him with electronic teeth. “I suppose I should take this. Do you mind?”  
         “Not at all. Should I leave the room?”  
         Dopheld winces. “That might be best.” Kylo pats him on the shoulder reassuringly and moves to the living room. With a deep inhalation, Dopheld accepts the call. A projection of a middle-aged woman’s face appears above the desk. “Hello, Mother.”  
         Her smile is slight but pleasant. “How have you been, Dopheld?”  
         “Well. And you and Father?” He hasn’t spoken to either of his parents for nearly a standard year, since well before he began sleeping with Kylo.  
         She nods. “Also well.”  
         “I’ve received another commendation. This one directly from General Hux.” Mitaka can’t speak further on the topic, as it has to do with his above-and-beyond work helping Project SK move through Phase II.  
         “We’re so proud of you, as always. You’ve done very well for yourself in your career. Although that reminds me, Dopheld. Are you dating anyone these days? Because you should really start thinking about your future family. Also, Alys has a lovely friend whose engagement just fell through—”  
         Trying desperately not to roll his eyes, Dopheld answers, “Yes, Mother. I’m seeing someone.”  
         Lorra Mitaka’s face brightens instantly, and she clasps her hands together in joy. “Oh, good! Is it serious?”  
         “Yes.” Briefly he considers elaborating, possibly sharing the fact that he’s been dating the unspecified individual for half a year. But then it might seem as though he’s been hiding his relationship from his family—which of course he has. But there’s no need to upset them unnecessarily.  
         “Well, aren’t you going to tell me about her?” she prompts, frown lines showing for the first time in this conversation.  
         At the risk of sounding awfully rude, he simply answers, “No.”  
         With an understandably offended look, she asks, “Why in heaven’s name not?”  
         “Because I can’t.” Bracing himself inwardly, he continues. “Because it isn’t a _her_ , Mother.”           
         “What? Oh, no,” she laments, sounding heartbroken. She turns to look over her shoulder and call out, “Rigal, come in here at once. I think you need to hear this.”  
         “Can’t you just let him know later?” Dopheld pleads. He knows his mother isn’t approving, but at least she isn’t giving him that sour, disappointed look that he knows he’s about to receive from Rigal Mitaka.  
         “No, Dopheld. You need to tell him face to face.” Instead, her face is displaying a my-only-son-is-going-to-Hell look. It isn’t pleasant either.  
         “Mother, _please_ …” he begs, hanging his head, sounding like a pitiful child. For some reason these people never fail to make him feel and speak as though he’s no older than ten years old.  
         But his father has already stepped into the frame and nodded, cutting off his son’s pleas. “Hello, Dopheld.”  
         His mother’s focus shifts back to him. “Dopheld, please repeat what you just told me so your father can hear it.”  
         He clears his throat. “I’m seeing someone, Father. It’s rather serious. We’ve moved in together.”  
         “That’s good,” he declares, “although I’d really prefer you to marry first. I hope you’re planning on it soon.”  
         Dopheld makes a strained smile. “That’s really not an option, Father. Not on Salient, anyway.”  
         The man is already frowning; it appears as though he suspects what’s coming. “And why not, Dopheld?” he asks in carefully measured syllables.  
         “Because I’m dating a man.”  
         His father hisses his response. “Is this some sort of phase?”  
         Dopheld shuts his eyes briefly and remembers to breathe. “No. I’ve only ever been interested in men.”  
         “I knew it. All those pretty girl friends of yours in school, then off you went to the Academy and suddenly you were too busy to date anyone—”  
         “I wasn’t too busy, actually. At Arkanis I discovered there were plenty of people like me.” This may make it sound as though he’d spent his Academy years sleeping around, but that isn’t too far from the truth. Let Rigal and Lorra Mitaka imagine the blasphemous acts he’d engaged in.  
         “Degenerates,” Rigal Mitaka declares.  
         “Have it your way,” he says with a shrug as though he doesn’t care. But he does—after all this time, he doesn’t want to upset them. He pathetically wishes he weren’t angering his father and saddening his mother, but he’s tired of pretending he has no romantic or sex life just to keep that from happening. “I received another commendation last week.”  
         Rigal’s voice is nearly a shout when he snaps, “Don’t even _think_ of changing the conversation, young man. When’s your next leave?”  
         Dopheld blinks at the unexpected question. It sounds suspiciously like his father is ignoring his own advice and switching topics. “I… I have fifteen days available for the calendar year. I’d have to give sixty days’ notice, but…”  
         “In sixty days, Dopheld Mitaka, you’re coming home. To meet Alys’ friend. And marry her.”  
         “Father! I am not taking what little leave I have to _marry_ someone I’ve never met whom I couldn’t possibly love.”  
         “Dopheld!” his mother admonishes, scandalised. “How dare you speak to your father in that tone? And love is hardly a requirement for this sort of arrangement.”           
         The study door hisses open and Kylo sweeps into the room as though he’s on a divine mission. Taking a position behind Dopheld’s chair, he leans in to make sure his face is included in the holo projection. “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Mitaka. I’m dating your son.” Pausing for a beat, he adds, “Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Kylo Ren. Well, technically Lord Kylo Ren, but don’t stand on ceremony for me.” He squints to read the Mitakas’ reaction. It appears to be appropriately stunned horror. “Anyway, what Dopheld was telling you two is that he’s very flattered by the offer of a loveless marriage but that we’re quite happy being degenerates together and you can both go to hell.”  
         Dopheld twists around to gaze up at Kylo with startled relief in his eyes, then turns back to the holo. “Yes, that’s it exactly. Have a good life. Goodbye and Maker keep you.” He reaches an index finger out to click an end to the call, then slumps forward onto the desk the instant the image vanishes. “Thank you,” he groans.  
         Kylo bends down to kiss his neck and murmurs, “I take it you weren’t out to them.”  
         “Not until approximately three minutes ago.” Dopheld is sharing this information with the desk, not ready to look Kylo in the face.  
         “I’ve never had to do that,” the knight muses quietly.  
         “What, really?”  
         He shakes his head. “No. I haven’t been in touch with my family since I started my training. As for the Knights… well, we’re in each other’s minds so much of the time, there’s been no need to discuss it.” He chuckles. “And now Hux knows because of us. But I’ve never had to say it out loud.”  
         “It isn’t a pleasant experience.” He’s lost friends and received bruises for this exact reason. “Not when most people don’t react well. My parents will now be praying for me until they die.”  
         “Let’s have dinner. You look like you could use some food.”  
         Dopheld finally turns to look at him suspiciously. “Did you just check if I was hungry… with the _Force_?”  
         “Maybe.”

 

  
During dinner, Mitaka’s comm bleats a series of alerts. It sounds like it’s having an electronic spasm, so he reaches to make sure nothing on the bridge is burning, and—  
                   _Incoming holo request from Alys Mitaka-Needa._  
         “Oh,” Dopheld says quietly. “It’s my sister.”  
         “Which one?” Kylo is aware that Dopheld has two sisters, one older and one younger. He knows their names are Alys and Rohel, but isn’t sure which is which.  
         “Alys, the one with the friend who… Oh, blast. They must have told her.” He sighs dramatically and hits Accept. “Hello, Alys.”  
         “Thank the Maker you answered. Mother just holoed me.”  
         Dopheld frowns. “I’m sure she did.”  
         “She’s having a fit,” Alys announces with a theatrical grimace. “So. Is there something you need to tell me?”  
         Gazing ceiling-ward, he groans loudly. “I’m homosexual.”  
         “Yes, Phel, I knew that.”  
         Blinking in shock, he asks, “Wait, you did?”  
         Alys nods. “Well, I knew you were at least bisexual. Since you used to fool around with Jaik Tironis.”  
         “You knew about Jaik?”  
         “Phel, everyone with eyesight and half a brain knew about you two. Especially anyone at your eighteenth birthday party. After you two snuck into the laundry room together, we could hear him moan from across the hall. Speaking of that, what did you do to him in there?” This last bit is asked with a wide grin.  
         By now, Dopheld’s face is beet-red. “None of your business.”  
         “Did you fuck him over the sink?”  
         “Alys!” he gasps, mortified. “No, I did not. All I did was blow—damn you.” Putting his face in his hands, he asks, “What exactly was it we needed to discuss, if you already knew I was a heathen destined for the fires of hell?”  
         Alys makes a dismissive sound. “About you dating someone.”  
         “Oh, that. Yes. I’ve, um, actually moved in with him.”  
         Eyes wide, she mutters, “Wow. Is he handsome? Tall? Highly decorated?”  
         “Yes, yes, and, well, he isn’t exactly an officer.”  
         “Medical corps or engineering?”  
         Kylo laughs from across the table.  
         “Maker, is that him?” she inquires in a stage-whisper.  
         “Yes. Come over here so I can show you off properly.” With a sweeping arm, he gestures for Kylo to obey his order.  
         The knight rises from his chair and moves to the other side of the table. He crouches beside Mitaka’s seat and waves. “Hello.”  
         “Alys, this is Lord Kylo Ren of the Knights of Ren. Kylo, this is Alys Mitaka-Needa, my elder sister.”  
         Mouth forming a silent ‘o’, Alys nods slowly. “Ren. Knights of. Lord Ren. Oh, dear.”  
         Grinning, Kylo _has_ to ask. “Is that a Mitaka thing?”  
         “What?” Dopheld asks.  
         “That adorable ‘Oh, dear’.”  
         With narrowed eyes, Dopheld turns and archly states, “Some of us grew up in households where cursing was unacceptable. Alys, you’ll have to forgive Kylo. Despite the noble title, he was born in a nerf pen on Mos Eisley.”  
         Rather immaturely, Kylo responds with, “Was not.”  
         “Could have fooled me.”

 

Lying beside one another in bed, Kylo interrupts Dopheld’s nightly reading to state, “Your family is quite religious.”  
         “Yes.” _Obviously_.  
         “And they think being gay is a sin.”  
         “Well, not exactly. The Church teaches that _being_ isn’t the issue; _doing_ is. Impulses themselves aren’t sinful, only actions are. Although the upshot is basically the same.” This is why getting married to a woman and having at least one child would fix everything, at least on the surface. Not for the first time, he finds himself overwhelmed with gratitude that the First Order not only accepts gay service-members, but protects them equally under the law. If not, he knows he wouldn’t have the courage to stand up for himself when there was so very much to lose. He’d probably already be married to some poor woman he’d cheat on serially in a cycle of shame and repression.  
         Kylo shakes his head in disbelief. “I can’t imagine what that was like, growing up being told that following your instincts was a sin.”  
         “Oh, I wasn’t. I didn’t even know homosexuality existed until I was fourteen.” Haven’t they already had this conversation? No, he remembers now. That had been with Hux. Suddenly he feels a pang at the thought that in some ways, he’s been more open with the general than with his boyfriend. That will have to change.  
         “Shit, Dopheld. What did you think you were until then?”  
         “An extraordinarily awkward straight boy.” He grins. “I was so relieved when Jaik and I first kissed, when I found out it could actually be comfortable. That I could be comfortable touching and being touched. As much as it upset me.”  
         “Because of what it meant?”  
         “Yes. All those troublesome implications. But they didn’t stop us from continuing on with one another.” Fumbling in semi-seclusion, blissful climaxes followed by instantaneous self-recrimination. Vows taken that this last time would be the very last time. Until the next time. Kiss and fuck, then pray it away before it came thundering back.  
         “Was he your first?”  
         “First what, exactly?” Although it’s a strange question to ask, as Jaik Tironis had been his first everything.  
         “Did he take your virginity?”  
         Mitaka makes a disgusted noise. “I despise that phrasing. It sounds like a Church lesson. No, he didn’t take anything from me, and I didn’t lose anything either. We gave each other our first times. Willingly, painfully, and fumblingly.”  
         “How much did it hurt?” Kylo asks, looking sheepish.  
         “A good deal at first. But I kept breathing and survived.”  
         All too casually, Kylo inquires, “Did you happen to bleed?”  
         “Maker, no.”  
         “Oh.”  
         “Why do you ask?” Dopheld questions, guessing the answer already. It’s easy to imagine a younger and very awkward Ren, unschooled in the necessary steps to take to prevent injury to his unfortunate partner.  
         Kylo grimaces and avoids Dopheld’s eyes. “Because, my first time… I made him bleed.”  
         “That’s because you’re huge. And possibly because you didn’t know what you were doing.” He frowns. “Sorry, I’m not judging at all. I didn’t receive proper sexual education until Arkanis. Before that I had no idea there was such a thing as commercially available lubricant. We had to make do with spit.”  
         Shaking his head, Kylo is quiet for a long moment. Then, “What about condoms?”  
         “Oh, I knew they existed. But they were for other people. Business travellers and the prostitutes they hired.”  
         Astonished, Kylo says, “What? Why?”  
         In an innocent voice and as though he’s providing instruction to a slow child, Dopheld explains, “Because anyone else should want a child if the Maker wills it.”  
         “Or diseases,” the knight points out, ever the devil’s advocate.  
         “Ah, but you’re forgetting that only monogamous married couples ought to be having sex.”  
         Nodding sarcastically, Kylo agrees, “Oh, of course. Yes, how stupid of me to think otherwise.” After that, he allows Dopheld to return to his reading.

* * *

 _As though propelled by an unseen push, Jaik tumbles forward, catching Dopheld’s mouth in a hurried kiss._  
_Stunned, Dopheld puts his hands on Jaik’s shoulde_ _rs and pushes him back. “What in heaven’s name was that?”_  
_Jaik shrugs nonchalantly. “A kiss. Or at least an attempt at one.”_  
_“Are you_ mad _?” Dopheld hisses in a horrified undertone. “We can’t do that sort of thing.”_  
_“Why the hell not?”_  
_“You know why.”_  
_Crossing his arms, Jaik dares him, “I want to hear you say it.”_  
_Dopheld swallows and forces himself to declare, “It’s wrong.”_  
_“According to the Church that took decades to accept hyperspace travel.”_  
_“Well, yes. That was… silly. But even apart from religion, everyone seems to agree that it’s a threat to the family.” And with the family being the basis of society, it doesn’t require much of a logical leap to infer the consequences. Chaos. Anarchy. Felynxes and hounds living together._  
_“Everyone_ here _, maybe. You know there are other places with different views?”_  
_“Yes, Jaik. I’m not completely ignorant. But here is where we both happen to live.”_  
_“Not for much longer. You’ll be off to one of the Officer Academies, and I’ll leave for university.” He smiles slyly. “We might as well get some practice in beforehand.”_  
_“What makes you think I’m even interested in that sort of thing?”_  
_Jaik gives him a very pointed look. “Who are you kidding?” He risks approaching Dopheld again, placing a hand around the other boy’s hip. “Not me, anyway.”_  
_Dopheld’s resistance falters and breaks. He leans in and starts the second kiss. It lasts far longer than the first, aborted attempt. Dopheld never knew kissing could feel so significant. It seems as though his world is crashing down around his ears, only to reveal a very different landscape underneath. One he’d never imagined, but far more enticing that what he’d expected for himself._  
_Breathing into Jaik’s open mouth, he hikes the boy’s shirt upwards. For some reason he doesn’t understand, it seems imperative that they touch each other directly as much as possible. The kiss pauses and they both remove their shirts speedily. Chest to chest, skin to skin. Jaik catches Dopheld’s earlobe in his lips, making him gasp._  
_“Is anyone else still here?” Dopheld asks, worry creasing his brow._  
_“No. It’s just us.” Jaik pulls him closer by the belt loops. Then he eases a knee up between Dopheld’s legs, presses it against his crotch._  
_Dopheld lets out a noise he didn’t know he was capable of making. It’s a strangled cry of desire._  
_His friend laughs. “Fuck, you’re hard.”_  
_“Shut up.”_  
_Jaik unbuttons Dopheld’s trousers and works a hand inside and under the waistband of his briefs. Dopheld makes that desperate sound again when Jaik’s fingers curl around him. Then he’s grabbing at Jaik’s pants, unzipping them, yanking them down. Jaik isn’t wearing anything beneath them. After a quick glance tells Dopheld that Jaik is also plenty aroused, he palms at the boy’s dick and his mouth goes dry._  
_Neither has jerked another person off, but despite inexperience and awkward angles, they manage. Dopheld climaxes first, spilling through Jaik’s fingers and onto the floor. Staring at him with darkened eyes, Jaik groans and follows, soiling Dopheld’s trousers. They kiss again, still panting._  
_As his breathing and heartbeat return to baseline, Dopheld begins panicking. “No,” he whispers. “This can’t be happening.” He stares at his sticky hand and immediately turns toward the sink to wash away the evidence of what they’ve done together. As he scrubs harder than strictly necessary, he finds himself repeating, “No, no, no” in a panicked undertone._  
_Standing behind him as he washes, Jaik kisses the side of his neck lightly. Dopheld shivers. After drying his hands, he reaches down to refasten his pants. Seeing Jaik’s release on the cloth, he frowns in revulsion. He scrapes up what he can with his fingertips, then looks up helplessly at his friend._  
_The other boy is grinning and slowly licking his own fingers. He’s cleaning them by_ eating _Dopheld’s filth. But all Dopheld feels in response is an urge to mimic the motion, and he places a fingertip between his own lips._  
_Disgusting. And so bloody hot._  
_However, he does take a damp washcloth to his trousers. He knows it’s much easier to clean up now before it dries._  
_Back home, he sits in his room and tries to pray._  
Our Maker, creator of the universe.  
_But his eyes are closed and he can see the pre-ejaculate beading on the head of Jaik’s cock._  
I beseech You, although I am of little merit.  
True enough _, he admits, feeling the other boy’s lips pressed against his own. He abandons prayer. Instead he ends up masturbating again, thinking he can still taste Jaik._


	14. XIV

After dinner, the knight falls silent for a handful of minutes, then quietly asks, “How old were you, the first time?”  
         Instinctively, Dopheld knows what the man is asking. “Seventeen. We were... whatever we were together for almost two years.” He says this last bit with a vague wave of his hand.  
         “You two broke up when you went to the Academy?”  
         “No, I broke it off a few weeks before graduation when I found out how many other people he’d been with during that time.” Now he wonders if it had actually been more than the three he knew about; he wouldn’t put it past Jaik to have taken every opportunity that arose. The boy had been particularly impetuous—not that Dopheld could hold that entirely against him. After all, that very impulsiveness had propelled Jaik to kiss him in the first place. “I shouldn’t have expected exclusivity because we hadn’t discussed it, but…”  
         “But he didn’t run it by you, either,” Kylo guesses with a slight frown.  
         “No. I don’t think I would’ve given him permission, either. I was young, I wanted everything from him, and I wanted to be everything for him.” Pausing, he turns to look at Kylo studiously. “Are you truly alright with my seeing Hux?”  
         The answer comes quickly and plainly: “Yes.”  
         “Because I’ll stop if that’s what you need from me. You’re more important.”  
         Kylo reaches over to squeeze Dopheld’s shoulder reassuringly. “Phel, I’m not jealous.”  
         “There’s _something_ bothering you about it, though.”  
         “Yes. I’d love to watch the two of you. Or better yet, have a three-way.”  
         Dopheld’s eyes light up as he envisions his co-commanders spit-roasting him.  
         “He’s so pretty. I want to see what he looks like with his cock buried in you. And then shove mine down your throat. Watch the look on his face when he empties, just before I do as well.” Kylo gives a crooked leer. “Does he blush when he’s turned on?”  
         “Yes.” Dopheld is reasonably certain his own face is colouring at the moment; he can feel the telltale heat on his cheeks.  
         “And is all his body hair red?”  
         “Oh, yes indeed.”  
         With a satisfied smirk, Kylo looks at Dopheld. “Strip, get on the bed, hands and knees, and wait for me.”

 

  
Dopheld isn’t tied down this time, but Lord Ren has made it clear that he’s to keep his hands to himself while the knight takes what he wants. He doesn’t look behind him; as instructed, he’s waiting.  
         “Hux has seen us fuck,” Kylo muses as he quickly stroke himself to full stiffness. “Hasn’t he?” Pouring lubricant into one cupped hand, he slicks himself up with it, staring at Dopheld’s raised and ready ass.  
         “Yes, sir. He’s watched the vid I gave him.” Mitaka tries to stifle a cry when Kylo breaches him swiftly, but hears himself exclaim, “Oh, sir!”  
         “You can take it,” the knight assures him, trailing the tips of his fingers down Dopheld’s back, eliciting shivers along the way. “Anyway,” he says, leaning forward. “As I was saying, I’d like to see you together.” Whispering into Dopheld’s ear, he adds, “In person.”  
         “You’d like to be present?” Dopheld asks, imagining this again. Wondering if Hux would be amenable, hoping so.  
         “You know I would.” He twists his fist in Mitaka’s hair, pulling his head back, thrusting forward. “Watch him have you. Listen to him enjoying you.” Bending forward, he bites down hard where Dopheld’s neck meets his shoulder. It’ll leave a mark for a few days, his tunic will rub against it as a reminder. “And take you after he’s finished.”  
         Mitaka groans at Kylo’s words and the sting from his sharp teeth.  
         “Think you could handle it?”  
         The lieutenant nods. He clenches his fists, fighting to focus enough to speak clearly. “Yes, I know I could. I’ve already had you both in the same night, less than an hour apart.”  
         “Go on and touch yourself,” Ren instructs before inquiring in a dreamy voice, “Won’t it be overwhelming?”  
         “Yes. In a good way, though.” The knight has learned how to overwhelm Dopheld all by himself, something he’s demonstrating particularly well at the moment. Mitaka doesn’t think he’s ever been with someone who could carry on a proper conversation while delivering such a thorough dicking. The lieutenant can barely string words together; Ren doesn’t even sound out of breath.  
         “Good. Because I want to fuck you with his come still inside. I want to feel it.”  
         Dopheld moans, feeling his climax steadily approaching. “Maker, Lord Ren. You’re filthy.”  
         “Not as filthy as you’ll be once we’ve both filled you.”  
         “My Lord. May I please come now?”  
         “You’ve been a very good boy tonight. So, yes, don’t prolong it.” Feeling Mitaka tense and twitch around him, Kylo repeats in a sweet murmur, “Good boy, good boy.” He continues to fuck Dopheld once the lieutenant’s climax has ebbed, allowing him to collapse forward onto the mattress. Kylo is close enough to be willing to do all the work from here on out. “There,” he says, petting Dopheld’s hair. “Just lie there and let me finish.”  
         Panting shallowly into the pillow, Dopheld tries to relax while Kylo keeps slamming into him, but he can’t come down completely with Master Ren still inside. He imagines taking this sort of treatment right after Hux. Soon he’s clutching at the slats of the bedframe, listening to Lord Ren grunt as their bodies slap together.  
         “Fuck. Such a pretty piece of ass.” And he is; Dopheld Mitaka is gorgeous wearing only his locked collar, with sweat shining along his spine and a huge dick buried deep inside him. “Oh, good boy.” Kylo fills the lieutenant’s hole, thrusting deeply through his release.  
         Afterward, Dopheld says, “The only issue is whether Hux is up for it.”  
         “I have a feeling he’s more adventurous than you believe.”  
         “I hope you’re right.” Swinging his feet over the side of the bed, Dopheld stands up to head to the fresher. When he returns to the bedroom, he says, “I can ask him the next time we’re together.”  
         “Don’t bother,” Kylo answers with a wicked grin. “I think I’d like to discuss it with him myself.”

 

Kylo catches Hux leaving the bridge at 1530, heading toward a conference room for one of the meetings the knight rarely bothers attending. Falling in line and matching the man’s stride, Kylo simply states, “General.”  
         “Ren,” the redhead says with a curt nod.  
         “May I have a word?”  
         Hux lets out a barely perceptible sigh before allowing, “You may.”  
         “I feel I’ve been very understanding these past few months.”  
         Hux crooks an eyebrow as though he has trouble agreeing that Kylo Ren could be understanding about anything having to do with him. “How so?”  
         “In regards to Mitaka.”  
         The redhead is startled, and his pace slows before he stops still entirely. “He said it wouldn’t cause issues between you. I’m sorry if it has.” Oddly, he does feel a twinge of concern, bordering on something that may be regret. Hux isn’t accustomed to feeling sorry when he says he is—it’s usually just a word he uses to indicate that he’s aware of having overstepped some societal boundary.  
         “Not in the way you’re imagining, I’m sure. I’m not the jealous type. The issue is that I’ve had to rely on second-hand reports and replayed memories.”  
         The general blinks. “You want… to watch us? In person?” Despite the fact that Dopheld had told him Ren was attracted to him, Hux hasn’t taken the time to reflect on what this might mean, practically speaking.  
         “Yes. I’ve given you a while alone, because I know this is new to you. However, if you don’t think you’d find it too strange…”  
         Hux shrugs, then resumes walking down the corridor. “Like you said, it’s all new. And very strange. I can’t imagine your presence would make much of a difference in that regard. That being said, I don’t often feel these urges very strongly. Not as often as the two of you, at any rate.”  
         “I realise it may be some time before this comes up again. That’s why I wished to broach the subject now.” After a moment’s pause, Ren adds, “You know we don’t constantly screw, right? We do spend time together with our clothes on.”  
         Hux raises an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine what else you could possibly get up to.”  
         “Is it that difficult to imagine that we have conversations or holo nights on the couch?” He clears his throat. “Anyway, unless I’m mistaken, you’ve only ever topped so far?”  
         Hux cocks his head in query.  
         “Been the penetrating partner.” Kylo can’t help but wriggle his eyebrows suggestively. “Inserted your penis into Mitaka’s mouth and anus.”  
         “Yes, that is correct. Although I think the term top is misleading, as Dopheld has generally been physically on top of me during anal sex.”  
         Kylo’s mouth goes dry as his mind provides him with a very detailed scenario of Mitaka riding Hux. “I see. I’ve never bottomed either. I’ve given oral, but never received anal. Do you know if you’re a hard—sorry, strict—top?” He has to keep reminding himself that the general may not be familiar with sexual terminology.  
         “I’m not sure what I’m interested in anymore, Ren. These last few months have been rather disorienting.”  
         Kylo nods. “Dopheld has a way of doing that to people. He’s… well, unexpected.”  
         “I admit I’m startled, and impressed, by the extent to which he knows what he wants, and pursues it. For someone so… obliging and submissive, he’s quite confident. Tenacious, even.”  
         The knight laughs. “It’s true.” That surprising confidence was what had led Ren down this unplanned path in the first place. “He’ll tell you precisely when he wants to be choked, and how hard.” Noting the thoughtful look on Hux’s face, he asks, “Oh, does he not do that with you?” For some reason, he’d assumed that Hux had sex with Mitaka the way he does.  
         “Not as of yet. I think he’s concerned about overwhelming me.”  
         “He probably doesn’t want to scare you away, now that you’re just coming into your own.”  
         The corner of Hux’s mouth twitches as though it’s attempting a smile without his consent. “The two of you are much more patient that I would have imagined. Considering Dopheld’s experience, and your… youth.”  
         Kylo has to point out, “I’m only two standard months younger than him.”  
         “I meant the fact that you handle your emotions like a child, Ren. Not your chronological age.”  
         “I know. I just wanted to hear you say it.”  
         “You really are a petty arse, aren’t you?” Honestly, Hux is enjoying the way their verbal sparring has changed. The only unfortunate factor is Ren’s mask, but he supposes the man has an image to maintain.  
         The knight shrugs. “Mitaka doesn’t seem to mind.”  
         “Mitaka doesn’t mind because you can strangle him from across a room and your dick is basically ideal.” Oh. Did he just say that out loud? It doesn’t really matter one way or the other, not with Ren’s abilities. Still, Hux’s face must be bright red now. He clears his throat, just to make a noise.  
         Now it’s Kylo’s turn to stop walking. With a tilt of his head, he silently suggests that they relocate their conversation to a nearby corner. Once there, he asks, “You’ve been looking, General?”  
         “Hells, Ren, I’ve probably spent a few days in total watching those vids of you two together. Of course I noticed.”  
         “That’s… touching.” He pauses. “But back to our discussion of scheduled events. Would you just want to watch at first?” A shy nod. “Maybe jerk off if the mood strikes you?” An even slighter nod. “If you change your mind and want to fuck Mitaka after, I’ll be fine with that. Even at the same time. We could both take a hole, if you’d like. Now, if you find yourself interested in engaging with me, we’ll need to decide how that ought to play out.”  
         The general’s cheeks flush pink. “Would you want to… with me?” He gestures from Ren’s chest to his own. “The two of us?”  
         “Yes. Of course.”  
         Hux swallows drily. “Would that mean you’d penetrate me?”  
         “Eventually, perhaps, but only if you’d like. Or the other way around, maybe. Not the first night, though. I know enough to take things slowly.”  
         “You certainly don’t with Dopheld Mitaka,” Hux says with an undisguised smirk.  
         “No, but even that took some getting used to. At first, I had trouble believing him when he told me what he wanted. But he allows me to skim his mind to make sure I don’t overdo anything.”  
         Hux’s jaw drops noticeably. He can’t imagine allowing that sort of intimacy with anyone. Perhaps Dopheld truly does have a relationship with Ren besides the sexual one.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortish chapter because the next one is rather long.


	15. XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go: Dopheld finally opens up about his mental illness. But first, smut.

It’s come to this. The three of them have had dinner in a private room of the senior officers’ lounge before retiring to Ren and Mitaka’s quarters. The couple made their way straight to the bed.  
         Now Hux watches Ren and Mitaka from a chair in the corner of the bedroom as he slowly takes sips from his wine glass. They’ve been kissing, pawing, and grinding at one another for a quarter of an hour now, and the general feels a bit worn out just being present to witness it. How long can they keep this up? He’s bewildered by the prolongation of pleasure. Perhaps it has something to do with the nature of their relationship. Or the fact that they have a relationship at all.  
         At last Kylo pulls Mitaka’s trousers and briefs off, summons the bottle of lubricant, and slathers his cock. The lieutenant climbs back atop Kylo’s lap, spreading his cheeks with both hands as he sinks down.  
         “Good boy,” Ren murmurs softly, running a hand over Dopheld’s hair. “But I’m sure Hux already knows that. Show him what a dirty slut you are.” He lets his hands drop to the mattress, where they take a light hold of Mitaka’s calves.  
         “How, My Lord?”  
         “Fuck yourself with me. Hard.”  
         Hux is mesmerised by the way Mitaka punishes himself. The quiet noises he makes are clearly not all enjoyment, but his untouched cock is fully erect. Kylo wraps a huge hand around it and tugs lightly. In response, the lieutenant squirms on his lap, wriggling further down on the thick member inside him. Despite the similar position, this isn’t at all the way the lieutenant rode Hux a few weeks back. Ren hooks a finger through the ring on Mitaka’s collar and uses it to direct the man’s motions. They maintain steady eye contact the entire time.  
         “Good. Very good indeed,” Kylo purrs before pulling him in for a kiss that looks more like a fight, but Hux has no idea who’s winning. “Now get off me and onto your knees. I’m going to fuck you into the mattress.”  
          _How does he know when to change positions? Or what to say?_ Hux tries to determine if there’s a rationale behind all this other than following whims. He’d like to think so, but considering Ren’s personality, he’d be rather surprised. Mitaka, on the other hand, probably always has a plan. Perhaps he’s subtly guiding the knight. Maybe using their silent mental connection.  
         Kneeling behind Mitaka, Ren reapplies lube and presses back inside. Once he’s fully seated, he slaps the lieutenant’s buttocks several times until it’s red with the repeated impacts. “Phel. Yours is, without a doubt, the best ass I’ve ever fucked.”  
         “Thank you, My Lord,” the man murmurs gratefully.  
         “So…” Kylo starts casually, drumming his fingertips along Mitaka’s hipbones. “Shall I show the general how I take what’s mine?”  
         “Please, Lord Ren.”  
         The knight grabs him by the back of his collar, pulling his head up while pressing down on the small of his back. “Yes,” he hisses in satisfaction. “See, Hux? Your adjutant is _such_ a good little fuck-toy.” He goes hard and fast, pausing now and again to hold back his release. This is the sort of delay Hux thinks he can understand; he’d like to try it sometime. Hopefully soon, because he’s cupping the crotch of his pants with one hand and wondering if it how much of a social faux-pas it would be to unfasten his flies and rub one out here. He isn’t sure if there _are_ rules for how to behave when your co-commander is having anal intercourse with your top lieutenant right in front of you. Thus, he decides to wait for more guidance.  
         Eventually—and Hux checks his chrono, it’s been thirty two minutes—Kylo has Mitaka begging pathetically for him to finish.  
         “What do you want, pretty boy?”  
         “Your come, My Lord. Please, now, fucking _please_.”  
         “Where?”  
         “In my arse, Lord Ren. Please just come inside my arse.”  
         “Good boy.” Ren’s rhythm stutters before he slams into Mitaka several more times. “There you go. Good little slut, Phel.” He groans and empties, causing the lieutenant to howl in satisfaction. Then he holds the man by the waist as his panting subsides. “Fuck,” he comments. “This may actually be better with an audience.” Giving Dopheld an encouraging smack to the right side of his ass, he adds, “Now, go over and see how you can assist our general.”  
         Mitaka nods and leaves the bed. He crouches by Hux’s feet and looks up at him solicitously. “How may I be of service, sir?”  
         Hux surprises himself with his response. “I want to fuck you,” he says in a hoarse voice. Belatedly but politely, he adds, “If that won’t be too uncomfortable for you.”  
         The lieutenant shakes his head. “No, sir. I’m sure can handle it.” Although he’s never done this before, taken one man right after another, he’s wanted to try it for some time. Never had the opportunity until now. Technically, he knows he could have made the opportunity, but there haven’t been available two men he’d considered worth the effort and likely discomfort.  
         “Back to the bed, then.” The general divests himself of his uniform and carefully lays the articles of clothing across the chair he just left. Striding over to stand behind Mitaka, Hux opens his cheeks and gasps. Technically speaking, he shouldn’t be surprised by the sight of Ren’s ejaculate, but he hadn’t considered that. “Ren, make yourself useful and hand me the lubricant.”  
         Kylo crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head. “You won’t need it.”  
         “Are you sure?” Hux has learned that after a certain amount of time, lubricant reapplication may be advisable. And these two had been at it for a while.  
         In response, Kylo converses with him directly and silently. _My load will ease your way. You’ll find I gave him plenty._  
         As the general lines up and slides in, his doubt vanishes. He starts thrusting immediately, and the sloppy squelching his movements make ought to disgust him. But coupled as they are with the slippery heat of Mitaka’s passage, he doesn’t mind. The lieutenant’s back is slick with sweat, his hair mussed up. He doesn’t have the energy to shout at Hux’s deep movements; all he can do is cling to the nearest pillow and grunt into it.  
         Kylo looks down at Dopheld and smiles. “Such a good little whore. You know, maybe by the time Hux pumps his load into you, I’ll be ready for another round. Perhaps between the two of us we can fuck you stupid tonight.”  
         “Oh Maker,” Mitaka pants. “I may sustain permanent brain damage.” Hux hits his prostate and from somewhere he finds the will to let out a loud moan.  
         The knight pulls out a sanitary wipe and lazily cleans himself off as he watches his boyfriend being seen to. Noticing the miniature datapad on the desk, he picks it up and flicks the power switch on. “May I?” he asks. The two men glance over at him. Mitaka just nods; he’s grown accustomed to this. Lord Ren is something of an historian. At least he hasn’t yet followed through on his threat to create an actual scrapbook.  
         Hux rolls his eyes but then allows with a put-upon sigh, “If you must.”  
         Selecting the camera function, Ren starts recording them mid-fuck. He narrates. “General Armitage Hux is giving my little whore a nice dicking. I’ve already taken his ass. Pounded him open and filled him up. How does he feel, General?”  
         The redhead looks at him, momentarily attempts to glare at the distraction, and fails miserably. “Beautiful. Filthy.” He holds Mitaka’s lower back down, keeping his hips at just the right angle. “I’m busy fucking your come out of his hole.”  
         Dopheld gasps at this statement, unexpected as it is coming from Hux. Has the man been delving into pornography when no one’s looking?  
         “Going to claim him with your own, then?”  
         Hux grins widely. “Oh yes. But it’s going to be a bit. I’d like to see how long I can last.”  
         “Fuck,” Mitaka groans.  
         “Any objections to my plan, Lieutenant?”  
         A vigorous headshake, then a pause while Mitaka tries to gather his words. “…No. None, sir.”  
         “That’s right. Be good for us,” Kylo orders. “Hm. I seem to be regaining interest. Think you can take a dick in your mouth at the same time, my pretty boy?”  
         The lieutenant looks up, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. “I’d like to try, My Lord.”  
         With a flick of his wrist, Kylo sends the camera floating into the air and joins the other men on the bed. “What are you waiting for, a formal invitation?” He points at the half-hard cock flopping in front of Mitaka’s face. “Get to it.”  
         While Dopheld scrambles to put his mouth to good use, Kylo looks up at Hux and can’t help but say something complimentary. “You’re very handsome right now, Hux.” And he is—face flushed, red hair askew, with a faint smile of pleased concentration.  
         The general looks surprised and rather flattered. “Thank you. You’re always quite… pleasant to look at yourself, Ren.”  
         Mitaka pulls off Kylo and coughs to clear his throat. “Quit flirting and bloody well _kiss_ already, would you two? _Seriously_.” He probably could have phrased this more diplomatically, but right now he doesn’t give a shit about wording. Something in him wants to close the V of their arrangement into a full triangle.  
         Kylo shrugs in question as Hux raises an eyebrow at him.  
         “I’ve never—” the general begins before the knight cuts him off.  
         “I know. Lean in.”  
         Mitaka listens as Hux stills, grateful that this moment is being recorded for posterity. Because he’s going to want to watch it, probably on repeat. He knows that Kylo has been flirting with Hux for years in his own awkward and violent way, and that the general was entirely oblivious. He can hear Hux draw a sharp inhalation and wonders if Kylo has just licked the redhead’s lips in that soft yet dirty way he does. A muffled moan—of indeterminable source—and Hux is very subtly grinding into him again.  
         The lieutenant reflects on the roundabout way the general has gone about sex: being blown and giving anal before his first kiss. But it makes sense in the unusual context. A message from Kylo breaks down his train of thought.  
_—You’re going to love kissing this man. He has no idea what he’s doing, but he loves it. Soft lips, too…_  
         Dopheld puts his own lips around Kylo again and pushes backward onto Hux. _Remember me?_ he asks Kylo, a bit petulantly. _I’m the one with the dicks in him._  
_—You’re not the only one who deserves attention tonight._  
_—I know. Just don’t forget I’m here._  
_—Never._  
         A wet smack and shift in both their positions tells Mitaka that the kiss has concluded.  
         “Well, what do you think, General?”  
         Thoughtfully, Hux runs a hand through his hair and reflects. “I… I like it. Thank you.”  
         “Any time, Hux. But for now our little slut here is feeling a bit left out. I think you may need to ream him good and hard.”  
         The general obliges and his thrusts have Mitaka gasping around Kylo’s dick. It’s difficult to use his mouth properly with Hux hitting that sweet spot inside him with astonishing regularity. But the knight solves this problem by holding the back of Mitaka’s head steady in a vicelike grip and keeping him in place. After several moments, the lieutenant is seeing stars behind his closed eyes and his lungs are burning. But he still doesn’t want to stop.  
         “Yellow?” Kylo asks.  
_—Not… yet_ , he insists.  
         The knight shakes his head and takes the liberty of using the Force to fill Mitaka’s lungs with fresh air. “Is that better?”  
         A nod. Mitaka wonders how confused Hux is at the moment, both by their coded language and one-way verbal communication. But from the sound of it, the general is focused on pounding his ass as thoroughly as humanly possible.  
         “Fuck… Dopheld…” Hux mutters brokenly.  
         At this moment, Kylo pulls Mitaka’s face away from him and switches to jerking off. He wants to hear the noises Dopheld makes when Hux climaxes. “He’s going to come inside you, pretty thing. How badly do you want it? Your second load of the evening?”  
         The lieutenant’s eyes were already watering, but in response to Kylo’s question a few tears fall onto his cheeks. “Please. Oh, please.” He’s so overstimulated, desperate to come but holding off until Hux is done with him, that he can no longer rein in his emotions. And when the general grips his waist even tighter and tilts even deeper to begin spilling, Dopheld openly weeps. “Thank you, General, oh Maker, thank you, sir.” With teary eyes, Dopheld gazes up at Kylo. “May I come, My Lord?”  
         Kylo smiles kindly and gently wipes Mitaka’s face with his free hand. “Of course you may. And keep those eyes on me.”  
         Dopheld nods and whines while he jerks himself desperately. Hux pulls out but keeps his hands on his waist. No longer filled with cock, the lieutenant can feel come dribbling down the inside of his thighs, reminding him just how used and filthy he is. “Thank you so very much for having me.”  
         “Show us how well you enjoyed it, boy. Say our names.”  
         “Kylo Ren. Armitage Hux. Fuck, fuck, sirs.” Moaning and twitching, Dopheld makes a mess of the sheets below him. Watching this depraved display, Kylo starts coming across Mitaka’s face, painting his lips and cheeks.  
         As soon as there are no hands on him to hold him up, Mitaka collapses onto the mattress. Lazily, he wipes his face with a hand and licks it clean. It’s going to take several minutes before he can remember how to move his body. Once he recovers the ability and will to coordinate his wobbly limbs with minimum competency, he leaves the bedroom for the fresher. Perched on the toilet, he voids. It’s his least favourite part of sex, but at least it no longer embarrasses him. Blotting himself dry, he stands up and notices something in the wastewater. There are a few speckles of blood on the tissue he used. Strangely enough, Mitaka smiles at the discovery. As long as there’s no real damage, he doesn’t mind. The night was worth it.

 

After Hux takes his polite leave, Kylo continues to hold Dopheld in their bed. In turn, Mitaka is content to have the knight nuzzle at his ear.  
         Suddenly, Kylo rouses himself to lean over him, peering down into his face. “Are you alright, Phel?”  
         “Yes, of course.” Mitaka blinks while he tries to determine the source of this unexpected concern. “Why?”  
         With a squint that indicates he’s accessing his powers, Kylo explains, “You’re bleeding.”  
         “Hardly.”  
         Frowning subtly, the knight insists, “You really need to let me know these things.”  
         “Just some local trauma. Nothing to worry about.” Looking into his lover’s face, he sighs in resignation. “What’s actually concerning you?” Not telling Kylo about the blood is symbolically upsetting him, Mitaka can tell that much.  
         “I feel like you don’t let me in,” he says, brushing a loose strand of hair from Dopheld’s forehead. “That you don’t want me to see any vulnerability on your part.”  
         “Pfassk, Kylo. You regularly tie me to the bed and beat me. You choke me until I’m on the verge of passing out. I wake up with marks to show for it. What additional vulnerability would you like to see?”  
         “The emotional kind.”  
         “Oh. Well, I suppose I’m rather resilient.”  
         “I know you are. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have pain. I know some nights you don’t fall asleep until just before the alarm goes off.”  
         So apparently _that_ is what has been bothering the knight. Mitaka can handle this. “Occasional insomnia isn’t all that serious,” he insists.  
         “But what keeps you awake?”  
         “Nothing of consequence.” They both know it’s a lie, but Ren lets it go for now. And now because of the topic of conversation, the lieutenant can’t get to sleep. Eventually he scoots out of bed to retrieve his datapad in order to set up an appointment with Medical.

 

The following evening, Mitaka returns with a prescription for a sleep aid. This may feel like admitting defeat, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to have a detailed conversation with Ren about his sleep habits. Knocking a tablet back at the fresher sink, he crawls into bed. Within minutes, he can feel his thoughts unwinding. At first it’s disconcerting, but soon he can’t summon the focus to worry about it.  
         The last truly coherent thought he has is, _Guess that’s the point._  
         A voice breaks through the surface of his sluggish consciousness. “Phel?”  
         “Mm?”  
         Kylo squints at the slumped form in his bed, feeling the haziness around him. “You’re drugged.”  
         “’M not.” A soft snore emerges from under the blankets. Mitaka doesn’t usually snore, at least not that Kylo is aware of. Usually the knight is the first one to get to sleep.  
         He pokes the lieutenant between his bare shoulder blades. “Did you take something to help you sleep?”  
         Mitaka squirms away from him and his jabbing fingers. “Yes. Mpf! Quit it, you pest.”  
         The knight relents for the time being. He isn’t going to get much of substance out of the man tonight. Not in this state.  
         Kylo leaves it until Dopheld shows up at the end of his shift the following day. While the lieutenant stands in the bathroom doorway, drying his freshly washed face with a towel, Kylo flips the prescription bottle upside down for dramatic effect. “Why did you get this?”  
         “Apparently my sleep cycle required some regulating. As I recall, you brought the matter up yourself.” He leans back to toss the damp cloth onto the washroom counter.  
         “But why?”  
         Forcing himself not to make a frustrated sound at this childish repetition, Dopheld states, “The physician explained that insomnia is usually a multifactorial disorder—”  
         Kylo lets out an annoyed, dismissive noise at Dopheld’s attempt at evasion. “I can tell that you know why you often having difficulty falling asleep. But since I’m not about to go digging around in your head, I wish you’d share it with me.”  
         Abruptly, Mitaka strides over to him, both hands clenched into tight fists, knuckles whitening. “I have nightmares, alright? Terrors, actually. With unfortunate regularity I wake up covered in sweat and screaming. It’s made me a tad wary of falling asleep at all. And I wanted to spare you the experience of witnessing it.” His voice has gone up at least half an octave; this is as close as he gets to shouting, and he despises himself for taking his frustration out on Kylo.  
         In return, Ren’s voice is low with humility. “I’m sorry, Phel. But I want to know what’s going on, and I want to be there for you.”  
         “Look,” Dopheld starts with a deep sigh, “I have bloody post-traumatic stress from my years at Arkanis. And I usually cope quite well on my own, thank you. I attend weekly mandatory counselling sessions and I take a daily long-acting anxiolytic as well as an antidepressant. But sometimes none of that is enough to help me deal with the fact that I _killed four of my classmates_. Two of whom I actually rather liked. And since I’ve started sleeping with you… Well, I haven’t had to consider another person’s feelings for a while.”  
         “I just wish I knew more about your own, Dopheld.” He sits on the bed against the pillows. Dopheld sighs and stretches out beside him.  
         “Now you do.” He almost adds, _I certainly hope you’re happy_. But he’s trying to be mature, even though he’s not sure how this whole relationship thing is supposed to go. “I’m _ill_ , Kylo. And I have the diagnosis to prove it.”  
         “Thank you for talking to me.” Kylo takes Dopheld by both hands and pulls him onto his lap. They lie back in a mess of entwined limbs.  
         “I’m sorry, Kylo. I don’t know how to go about having these sorts of conversations. I’ve never had to before.” Until now, he’s never gotten this close to someone he shared sex with, not since he’s had these problems. He’d told Jaik every last silly thought and worry that came to mind, but he’d only been seventeen. Back then he’d had no idea what trouble was. The extent of his problems began and ended with a discordance between his religious upbringing and his burgeoning sexual inclinations.  
         “Neither have I, Phel.”  
         “This really wasn’t the way I imagined we’d end up, after that first drink.”  
         Ren kisses the top of Mitaka’s head, appreciating how the man fits so well into his arms. “I know. This has come as a bit of a surprise for me as well.” The lieutenant must be exhausted from their conversation, because Kylo hears his breath rattle in a soft snore. He adds, “Not that I’m complaining.”  
         Mitaka stirs and settles in on Kylo’s chest. “Y’know,” he begins sleepily, “you’re a much better boyfriend than I’d’ve ever suspected.”


	16. XVI

Kylo chooses to attend the weekly strategy briefing, mostly for a chance to speak with Hux once the meeting lets out. Once the rest of the attendees file from the room, the knight removes his helmet and places it on the table. He takes the chair next to the general.  
         “So,” he begins casually. “You’re having dinner with Dopheld tonight.”  
         Hux answers off-handedly while reviewing his agenda for the rest of the shift. “That was the plan, yes.” It’s even in his schedule:  _1930 Dinner with Lt. D. Mitaka, my quarters._  Everything goes in his schedule; everything has its time and place.  
         “Be gentle with him today, Hux.”  
         “Why?” the redhead asks, looking up from his tablet in surprise. “I thought that was precisely what he didn’t want.” Hux has been trying to work up the courage to treat Mitaka a bit more roughly. A few nights ago, he’d watched a pornographic video in which a young man laid with his head hanging over the edge of the bed while his partner thrust into his mouth. One could see the bulge in the man’s throat as it worked to accommodate the cock inside it, and Hux has been having some difficulty keeping the image out of his mind. In fact, he’s toying with the idea of suggesting the activity to Dopheld tonight. Even if he does, though, it won’t show up in such specificity on his agenda.  _Personal downtime_  will have to cover it.  
         “He’s finally starting to open up to me. It turns out he has a bit of… baggage. From—”  
         “From Arkanis, yes. I know.”  
         Kylo’s full attention snaps toward the general. “You do?”  
         “Of course. I was the one to review his psych screening and grant him clearance for my team. I’m need-to-know on these things, Ren.”  
         Kylo huffs at this unanticipated disclosure. “I wish someone had told me my boyfriend had fucking PTSD.”  
         “I’m glad he was the one to tell you. I think that’s how these things are supposed to work.” Admittedly his first-hand experience is limited, but he’s comfortably sure that one is not supposed to find out from one’s partner’s commanding officer. “Besides, the Academies tend to cause a considerable amount of psychic damage to our cadets, particularly the bright ones. It’s how we get through it and learn to cope that matters.”  
         “That’s downright callous of you, Hux.”  
         The general squints at him. “You forget I attended Arkanis myself.”  
         “What happened to you there?”  
         A shrug. He doesn’t consider his training or education to have happened  _to_  him—he wasn’t a passive bystander, but rather an enthusiastic participant. “It was all pretty standard for the time. EdCom has made some recent improvements, citing evidence of lasting and unnecessary psychological harm. Encouraging the murder of classmates tends to do that to young people, no matter how dedicated the cadets are. Now they’re focussing on live fire combat training. Which is still wasteful, but change comes slowly in these places.”  
         Ren won’t let go of the subject of Hux’s own experience. “How many classmates did you kill? Outside of combat training, that is?”  
         “Seven. And don’t look at me like that. You’ve massacred more people in the past week than I’ve killed my entire life. And I have nearly a decade on you.”  
         “But none of us is stable.”  
         “Speak for yourself, Ren. I’m an aromantic sociopath. Which means that I am in fact quite remarkably stable despite my background. In spite of the fact that I probably should not be. Mitaka, on the other hand, is a good person and he’s trying to make things work. Including with you.”  
         Ren blinks. “He… talks about me? Us?”  
         “Of course he does. You’re the most important thing to him, besides his duty to the Order.”  
         Selfishly, Kylo Ren wonders how he ranks against duty. Probably not entirely well.  
         Hux continues speaking. “So, tell me. Have you shared your own psychological damage with him?”  
         A cloud settles on the knight’s expression. “What are you talking about?” he asks darkly.  
         “Ren, please,” the general answers in a tired voice. “I’m need-to-know on the profiles of everyone aboard this ship. That includes the classified sections.” He’s known about Kylo Ren’s lineage from the week before he set foot on the  _Finalizer_. General Hux loves data and loathes surprises.  
         “My…  _background_ … is no longer relevant,” Kylo declares with a cold finality. “That… child is dead.”  
         The general shrugs nonchalantly. “Suit yourself. I was just thinking it was only fair, seeing as how Mitaka bared his soul—and a mental illness diagnosis—for you.” It’s a cheap shot, Hux knows, but he thinks it might work on someone with Ren’s simplistic sense of justice.

 

“A few nights ago, I stumbled across a video.” This isn’t particularly accurate—Hux had in fact searched a pornography server for the term “throat-fucking.” Then he’d scrolled through the results for one in which the receiving party was a slim young man with short brown hair.  
         “Yes?” Dopheld asks, eyes glinting with curiosity.  
         Hux briefly describes the scene, and watches Dopheld’s face light up.  
         “You’d like to try it?”  
         “If you’d be amenable, yes.”  
         “Oh, absolutely.” Standing, Dopheld removes his belt and unfastens his tunic.  
         “Now?”  
         “Well, when else?”  
         Hux smiles and nods quickly. “Alright, then.” He stands as well and follows the lieutenant to the bedroom. When he moves to divest himself of his own uniform, Mitaka stops him.  
         “No,” he insists. “Leave your clothes on. And wear your gloves. I want to feel properly used.” He lies down on the mattress, stomach down. “I’ve worked past much of my gag reflex, but I’ll still have to breathe now and then. If I need a break for air, I’ll slap your legs lightly.”  
         The general nods.  
         “Also, I should warn you that I’ll drool. And my eyes will tear up. My nose may run. None of that means I’m not enjoying it.”  
         Shaking his head in amused incomprehension, Hux agrees, “Alright.”  
         “Now take out your dick so I can get you hard.”  
         Exposing himself while in full uniform feels odd to Hux. Until now he’s only done it when using the facilities. It causes him to view this moment in a strange light, as though he’s about to use Mitaka’s mouth simply to relieve himself. He supposes he is.  
         The lieutenant has him erect in no time, and then Dopheld is flipping onto his back, hanging his head over the edge of the mattress. “Please fuck my throat, sir.” In further invitation, he opens his mouth and waits.  
         Hux leans forward and slides inside. As he slips past Dopheld’s tongue, he feels the man’s oesophagus gently squeeze around him. He groans quietly but keeps sinking in. When his pubic hair is brushing against Mitaka’s lips, he pauses for a moment to simply enjoy the heat. Then he begins tilting his hips. “Maker. Dopheld,” he whispers. “Good boy.” After multiple thrusts, he pulls out and watches the lieutenant greedily gasp for air. Then Mitaka nods and reopens his welcoming mouth. The redhead buries his cock again. This time, he watches Dopheld’s adam’s apple bob in time with his movements. Lightly, he places a gloved hand around the man’s neck. It’s a good illustration of Mitaka’s willing vulnerability.  
         “There’s a good boy,” Hux murmurs happily. Presently he loses himself in the rhythm of taking pleasure. It’s selfish and wet and achingly warm. He revels in the thrum of this new power. Eventually he notices that Mitaka is also hard, his own erection tapping heavily against his stomach. “You’re getting off on being used like this?”  
         The lieutenant makes a choked hum of agreement.  
         Reflecting how the young man in the vid hadn’t appeared half as adept at this as Mitaka, Hux says, “So obliging. Letting me do this to you. Oh, Dopheld.” He tosses his head back as he thrusts wildly. Then he feels a slap of palms against his thighs, remembers what this means, and steps back. Distantly, he hears Mitaka wetly draw in air, then cough to clear his throat. And then Hux is back inside with the walls of Dopheld’s oesophagus instinctively clenching around him. Even more than with standard blowjobs, he feels as though he’s being milked. “Yes, that’s it. Phel, you’ve got me so fucking close. You’re the perfect little slut. Put your hand on yourself.”  
         Obediently, Mitaka jerks at his straining dick with short, furious tugs.  
         “I want to see you make a mess on yourself. Show me how much you’re enjoying me fucking your pretty face.” This is the last full sentence he can construct. “Fuck. Phel. You  _whore_.”  
         At the breathy insult, Dopheld shoots streams of ejaculate across his belly and chest. Watching this depraved display, the general empties as well.

 

“Kylo is concerned about you,” Hux says as he watches Dopheld wipe himself off with the damp washcloth he’d provided.   
         Sighing heavily, Mitaka responds, “I know.”  
         “He knows you’re hurting.”  
         “It really is getting better, albeit slowly. And I’ve been sleeping more soundly, probably because I now know I won’t have to make any excuses, or worse yet, explain it again.”  
         “Good.” Hux takes the cloth from Dopheld with one hand and brushes the lieutenant’s hair back into place with the other.  
         “You know,” Dopheld says with a thoughtful look while he finishes putting his uniform back on, “I don’t think you’re half as cold as you believe you are.”  
         “Now, let’s not go about saying things we can’t take back.”  
         The sarcastic response and accompanying wink have Mitaka wondering whether Hux is purposefully projecting the image of a sociopath, rather than it being strictly true. With that thought, he wishes the man a good night and leaves to make the short walk home across the hall.

 

“How’s our favourite ginger?” Kylo asks, handing Dopheld a hot cup of fresh tea.  
         “He’s well. Fucked my throat for the first time tonight.”  
         With raised eyebrows, Kylo states, “The general is proving to be quite corruptible.”  
         “It’s not corruption,” Dopheld protests. “More of a sexual liberation.”  
         “Oh, yes, Lieutenant. You’re a real hero.”  
         “I rather am, in fact. Thank you for noticing.”  
         Shaking his head, Kylo declares, “You’re always extra snarky after you spend time with him.”  
         “Want to punish me for it?” he offers with a deceptively shy look.  
         With an amused smile, Kylo admits, “Tempting, but no. I actually wanted to talk.” Watching Mitaka’s face fall, he continues, “I was thinking that perhaps I ought to divulge some of my own… past… to you.”  
         Mitaka appears startled at the suggestion but feels relief that Kylo wants to discuss himself. “Oh. Alright. Only if you want to, though.”  
         “No, it’s only fair. You were quite brave, telling me about yourself. Your history.”  
         The lieutenant lets out a short and humourless laugh. “Hardly. I felt vulnerable and defensive. Part of me only told you because I hoped you’d feel bad for prying. The rest was just glad to no longer hide it.”  
         “I still thank you for your honesty. Then and now.” In preparation for his own disclosure, he takes a long inhalation. “I was raised on Chandrila, in the Core.”  
         Mitaka nods. “I know.” Watching the knight’s startled look, he explains. “Well, not the specific location. But your accent. It speaks of… well, not only of an upbringing in the Core Worlds, but one of privilege.”  
         “I suppose I was privileged. Ben’s— _my_ —parents were influential people. I’ve developed a tendency to think as though my childhood happened to someone else. Because I don’t like to examine what it means.” He stares off into the middle distance. “I told you my parents sent me off to Skywalker’s Jedi Academy when I was still very young, but I didn’t explain why. It was because I frightened them.”  
         “Why? Did you set things on fire?” He can imagine that quite easily.  
         “Well, yes. I… Sometimes I hurt people, too. Even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn’t control my impulses or anger. And with my powers—”  
         “You were particularly dangerous,” Dopheld finishes for him.  
         “Yes. And although even then I suspected their fear was justified, that didn’t help. I felt… rejected. As though they sent me away to become someone else’s problem. My  _uncle’s_  problem, to be specific.”  
         “Your uncle? Skywa…” Mitaka stops cold before he can finish saying the man’s name. “Oh, shit.”  
         “Indeed.”  
         “Your parents—”  
         Kylo nods gravely. “Yes. Solo and Organa.”  
         “Holy… fucking… fuck, Kylo.” The man sitting beside him—the one he’s been sleeping with for months now—is the child of two legends of the Rebellion. No wonder he’s angry and has impulse control issues. Dopheld may not agree with his own family on many counts, but he was raised with a nostalgia for the Empire, and support of the First Order that rose in its place. But Kylo Ren had grown up with democracy among Rebellion and then Resistance “heroes.” He’d broken with everything he knew as a child, and that must have been terribly lonely. Mitaka feels a sudden stab of guilt for being so consumed by his own pain that he failed to recognise Kylo’s.  
         “I know. Since then, with Snoke’s continued help, I’ve built a different life. Under a new name, a persona with less history and no regrets. Phel, I didn’t just kill my classmates and teachers. I killed myself. I destroyed Ben Solo and I did not mourn him. Out of all the deaths I caused that day,  _his_  was the most deserved.” Everyone else had been collateral damage in the commission of his suicide.  
         The lieutenant nods soberly. “Whoever that boy was, it doesn’t matter now. You’re no longer a child, or a Jedi, or the son of the Resistance. You’re Lord Kylo Ren, and I love you for it.”  
         Kylo’s head snaps to attention. “What?” he asks quietly, not sure what other words to add.  
         “I mean it. I understand if you don’t feel the same, but I wanted to say it.”  
          _—Shut up. You must know… I love you too._  All he can say aloud is the nickname he has for Mitaka. “Phel.”


	17. Yellow and Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tagging for consensual non-consent.

“What does ‘Yellow’ mean, Dopheld?”  
         “Oh.” Squinting, he thinks back to determine when Hux would have overheard this term. It doesn’t take long for him to recall that Kylo asked his status during their threesome, and that memory instantly quickens his pulse. “It’s part of our safeword system. Do you know what a safeword is?”  
         “No.”  
         “It’s a coded way of communicating during play scenes. To let each other know how you’re holding up.”  
         “Why use a code at all, though? Why not communicate plainly?” Once again, the engineer is hard at work trying to fix problems he doesn’t fully comprehend. To simplify the intricacies of human relations.  
         “Sometimes that doesn’t work with a particular scene. For example, I’ve had several partners who enjoy consensual non-consent.”  
         Hux stares at Mitaka blankly at this blatant oxymoron. “What.”  
         “Rape roleplay, sir.”  
         “Oh. _Oh._ ” The general blinks multiple times in a row as he processes this information.  
         At least Hux doesn’t look horrified, just like he’s never considered that this could be a _thing_ that people enjoyed. Dopheld continues in his explanation. “Thus, you can see how saying ‘Stop’ or ‘No’ would be unclear in such a scenario. How would he know if I actually want him to stop, or if it’s simply part of the role I’m playing?”  
         “I see.” Tapping a finger against his lips, Hux inquires, “So how does this colour coding work?”  
         “Well, either Kylo will prompt me for my status if he’s concerned, or I can just say ‘Green,’ ‘Yellow,’ or ‘Red’ at any time and he’ll respond appropriately.”  
         The general taps his lips in contemplation. “I’m assuming ‘Green’ means you’re doing fine. That ‘Red’ does not. And ‘Yellow’ is somewhere in between.” He watches Mitaka nod. “But what happens when you say one of those two non-‘Green’ words?”  
         “Well, ‘Yellow’ means slow down or change things up. For example, if I’m being penetrated too quickly, or when I need a break from cropping. But ‘Red’ means everything stops immediately. The crop hits the floor. The restraints come off. And any penetration sure as hell ends.”  
         “What then? Have you ever gotten to that point?”  
         “Yes. Three times, but never with Kylo. What _should_ happen is a shower followed by a calm discussion of what went wrong.”  
         “Is that what actually happened?”  
         “Twice, yes. The second time, though…” He shakes his head. “To his credit, he did stop everything. But then he proceeded to shout at me.” That was two years ago, and thinking back on it still brings a bad taste to Dopheld’s mouth.  
         The general blinks in incomprehension. “Whatever for?”  
         “For being a ‘poor sport’ and a ‘bad submissive’ for my unwillingness to take everything he intended to give me.”  
         “May I ask what is was he intended to give?”  
         Dopheld smiles sadly. “It’s hard to know what’s going to hit a nerve until something does. I used to genuinely think I’d be fine anything a sexual partner might call me. But as it turned out, I didn’t respond well to being told I was worthless and weak.” He tilts his head, remembering in excruciating detail. “Or that I was a lousy cocksucker.” Milosh Bogdan hadn’t insulted him so much as degraded him, and Dopheld knows it’s a fine distinction, but that night he learned precisely where the line was located.  
         “Those insults are also all entirely untrue,” Hux points out kindly.  
         “I know, and thank you. But it felt like he meant them.” With a quiet sigh, Mitaka admits, “And even that wasn’t enough to get me to call a stop to it.”  
         “What did it take, then?”  
         “He called me a…” Dopheld shakes his head, unable to repeat the word even when quoting someone else. “A particular slur for gay men that I have always hated and never use.”  
         “He called you _that_?” Hux asks, lip curling in disgust. “While you were—”  
         “Yes. While he was inside me.” Mitaka frowns, remembering how violated he’d felt. Just the way he had with Eidar when he’d been eighteen. Although that more recent time, he’d been able to reach out for a word to defend himself. It had been a relief to be able to wrest back some power over the interaction that had gone from enjoyable to humiliating in the span of a few minutes.  
         “That makes absolutely no sense.”  
         “He wasn’t the first to do it, either.” He shrugs. “Ah, well. Mistakes were made. I didn’t see him again.”  
         “He wasn’t one of ours, was he?” The general’s tone of voice makes it clear that he certainly hopes the answer is no, that men who can do such things have no place in the Order.  
         “Actually, yes. He was in Intelligence.”  
         “Want me to transfer him to some backwater outpost where he’ll probably be eaten by a carnivorous plant? Hopefully over the course of several days?”  
         “I believe he’s already dead, sir.” In fact, Mitaka knows this to be the case—he’d looked up Bogdan’s public file about a year after that evening and discovered the man had been captured, tried by the Republic, and executed for espionage. Occupational hazard, considering the man had indeed been a spy.  
         “Oh. Good,” Hux murmurs absently.  
         “Anyway, you don’t need to protect me. I’ve gotten much better at screening potential lovers.” _Case in point,_ he thinks to himself. _I’ve currently got the two most high-ranking men of the First Order trading me between them._  
         Hux makes a sarcastic scoffing noise, apparently thinking the same thing but in a different light. “Really? Because I’d like to take this moment to point out that you’re regularly sleeping with Kylo Ren.”  
         “Oh, do shut up, sir. You kissed him last time. For about ten minutes.”  
         The redhead just shrugs, unfazed. “It was pleasant.”  
         “I know. He’s a lovely kisser.”  
         With a quirk of a smile, Hux inquires, “And how are you, Lieutenant?”  
         “You want to know?”  
         “Of course. I was just…” He waves a hand in the air uselessly.  
         “Shy?”  
         “Inhibited.”  
Honestly, Mitaka enjoys the way he’s able to take control with Hux. It’s strange and a little uncomfortable, but he loves being present when the general discovers something new that unexpectedly pleases him. So the lieutenant straddles Hux on the couch and looks down into his blue eyes. Saying nothing, he leans in and places his lips as lightly as he can against the redhead’s mouth. The general’s lips part minutely to let out a tiny breath. Reaching a hand up, he runs his fingertips through Dopheld’s hair.  
         “You really are a beautiful young man,” Hux murmurs. “Though I never realised it until I heard Ren say it.”  
         Despite his concerns, Dopheld reminds himself that Hux has yet to show fragility. So he guides the general’s mouth open and slides the tip of his tongue inside. Immediately Hux’s fingers twist in his hair, and Dopheld can’t hold back the quiet moan from the back of his throat. He ruts against the general’s lap. A hand establishes a firm grip on his ass and squeezes rhythmically in time with the motion of Mitaka’s hips. Their tongues turn over in each other’s mouths, exploring insistently. Dopheld can taste the glass of red wine Hux finished with dinner.  
         “Please fuck me,” he asks in a hushed voice during a gasping break for breath.  
         “Not yet,” Hux says, his tone decided. “I want to keep kissing you for a while yet.”  
         In response, something twists inside Dopheld’s stomach. “Alright.” He knows how to wait, how to postpone reward until he’s an aching mess. And he isn’t there yet, although he’s well on his way. They kiss for what feels like hours, even though it can’t be more than ten or fifteen minutes.  
         After time has slowed to a crawl and Mitaka can feel his lips bruising, Hux pulls back. “I seem to recall you saying something about wanting me to penetrate you.” The lieutenant nods energetically. “I’d like to try it from behind. When it’s just us, that is.”  
         “I think you’ll enjoy it that way.” What he means is that the proposed position is less emotionally intimate than others. As much as he’d like to imagine otherwise, he has a strong suspicion that a deeper bond is not something Hux is capable of forming. Besides, he has that with Kylo, and he’s not certain he could handle two full relationships at once.

 

* * *

 

Last night’s conversation with Hux has set Dopheld thinking. Again and again throughout his shift on the bridge, he toys with a notion. Each time he finds the knot of arousal growing in his stomach, and has to swallow it down to focus on his work.

 

         In the evening, he broaches the topic after dinner. “I’d like to try something, Kylo.”  
         “Yes?”  
         “Would you have a look? I’ll show you what I’m thinking.”  
         As Kylo delves into Dopheld’s imagination, the knight’s eyes widen and darken. “You want that?”  
         “I believe so, yes.”  
         “I can make it happen.” Kylo’s grin is hungry, almost predatory. It makes Dopheld feel a bit weak at the knees, and very grateful that he’s already seated.

 

Kylo clears the communication room. He wonders if Dopheld specified this location simply because it came easily to mind, or if it’s important that they do this where he first choked the lieutenant. He breathes slowly in and out, recalling the day in question. The other general— _Organa_ —he’d cared desperately about bringing her in. And now he’d regret having taken that frustration out on Dopheld Mitaka, except that it led to what they have now. Otherwise he’d have never discovered what the lieutenant was interested in and capable of. Therefore he can’t bring himself to feel at all bad. This is something Hux will never be able to understand, the fact that Ren’s emotional turmoil has brought him some of the greatest rewards of his life. Why change when he has no motivation to do so?

 

Currently Mitaka is more nervous than aroused. It’s bad enough that he actually wants a cigarette. That he approaches Hux for one. The general just raises an eyebrow and dispenses one from his case. Mitaka nods gratefully and darts into the junior officer’s lounge to furtively smoke it.  
         His hands are trembling noticeably. They haven’t done that since shortly after he’d killed Gildan, and before he’d started conditioning.  
         He wonders what’s wrong with him, besides all the obvious things. Surely this is far worse than his usual requests. Wanting physical pain is one thing, as he can easily explain that away (crossed wires, a desire for overwhelming sensation). But this… He shakes his head, takes a last prolonged drag, and crushes the cigarette out in the ashtray. Stopping by the washroom to clean his hands, he glances in the mirror.  
         Even his reflection looks worried.  
          _I need to inform Lord Ren of our failure to capture the Resistance general,_ he instructs himself. He’d been scared to perform this duty back then, a fear that is echoed now in the nerves bunching in his stomach.  
         He opens the door to the communication room and walks into the scene. “Lord Ren, Organa’s fleet slipped through our block—”  
         It happens again. But this time he doesn’t try to fight his reaction as he’s thrown back into the wall. There he hangs in Ren’s invisible grasp and awaits the knight’s judgement.  
         “Lieutenant.” Slowly, Ren sets him down on his feet, then backs him against the wall. His palms hit the the durasteel on either side of Mitaka’s face. “You _enjoyed_ that.”  
         “Sir, I d-don’t know what you’re t-talking about.” His words stutter entirely without intent, making him sound very young and confused.  
         “Yes, you do. You’re sick.”  
         Mitaka swallows and forces himself to look up into Ren’s mask. Faceless, speaking in that weirdly modulated voice, Lord Ren is stirring the lieutenant’s prior terror. “I… sir…”  
         “I can feel it. What you want me to do to you. It’s disgusting.”  
         He shuts his eyes. “Please, My Lord. Let me go.”  
         “That isn’t what you want.” Ren tilts his head down and simultaneously moves a gloved hand to Mitaka’s hip, pinching his flesh through the uniform. “I can see it, you know. What you’re imagining. Perhaps I should go ahead. Teach you a lesson about the dangers of getting what you want.”  
         “I don’t… want _anything_ ,” Mitaka insists. “Except to get back to the bridge.”  
         The other hand forms a fist and slams into the wall. Mitaka shuts his eyes and gasps. He’s afraid, but not of Lord Ren. He’s afraid of his own reaction, and he hasn’t felt that ambivalence in a long time. It makes him feel uncomfortably young.  
         “I feel your arousal. I don’t need to do this—” The hand leaves Mitaka’s hip to grasp between his legs. “To know you want me inside your body as well as your mind. You desire to be possessed. Taken, used, and discarded. Like the piece of trash you know you are.” Whirling Mitaka around, he squeezes the seat of his trousers. “Cheap. Filthy. You’re begging for it, silently.”  
         “Please, Lord Ren.”  
         “Please fuck you against the wall like a ten-credit whore in a back alley?”  
         “No. Not that. Please let me go.”  
         A mechanical chuckle escapes the vocorder. “I won’t be doing that. Not until I fulfill your wretched little fantasy.”  
         Mitaka chokes on his own desire. “It’s isn’t… I don’t want… Don’t.”  
         “Is that an order, Lieutenant?” Taking hold of Mitaka’s waistband, he tears the trousers down to his knees.  
         Startled, the officer finds tears in his eyes. He’s overwhelmed by the power of his arousal at the realism of the scenario. His tears only fuel that fire. “No, sir. Not an order. Just, please don’t.”  
         “Don’t. What.”  
         The responding words are small and strangled in Mitaka’s throat. “Don’t rape me.”  
         Ren laughs before ripping the lieutenant’s briefs off as well. “It isn’t rape if you’re the kind of worthless piece of trash who wants it.” Although he can sense the trepidation from Dopheld as the officer is feeling out of his depth. Force help Ren—he’s made Dopheld Mitaka feel inexperienced.  
         “Our Maker.” Oddly, Dopheld begins to recite a prayer he didn’t know he recalled. “Creator of the universe. Humbly I commend my soul to your keeping. Although I am of little merit, I beseech you.” He hasn’t prayed since he left for the Academy, since he sat on his dormitory cot the first night and realised he didn’t have to say those useless words ever again.  
         The Knight of Ren continues to laugh. “Oh, Lieutenant. How very precious. Go ahead and pray to your god while I fuck you. I’m not a jealous man; I won’t mind.” He brings a hand around to Mitaka’s lips. “Spit. Or don’t, it’s up to you. But this is the only lubrication I’ll be offering.”  
         His mouth is so dry, he can barely manage to bring up any saliva to deposit onto Ren’s glove. All he does is cough. The hand vanishes, and he’s relieved to hear Ren rustle among his robes and tear a packet open. “Thank you,” he mumbles pitifully.  
          _Oh, sweet Dopheld,_ Ren thinks. He probably would be the sort of person to thank his rapist for using lubricant. “This is for my sake alone, Lieutenant. I’d rather not chafe. Now, spread your legs for me.”  
         Dopheld whimpers against the wall. A hand strikes his ass.  
         “Open them _now_ ,” Ren growls. “Unless you’d like this to take even longer.”  
         Feeling terribly exposed, the lieutenant spreads his legs.  
         “There’s a good little slut. If I enjoy ‘raping’ your hole, I may let you come as well. Eventually.” Ren lines himself up and shoves inside.  
         Mitaka yells. Kylo has never entered him this roughly. Actually no one has, because his first time had been too awkward and fumbling to be quick. He’s grown accustomed to burning and stretching with penetration (particularly from Kylo), but this is agony. Tears spill out of his shut eyes.  
         A hand clamps over his shoulder. “There, now. You can take it. Just one more dick inside you. Because you’ve had plenty, haven’t you?” He pauses. “ _Haven’t you?_ ”  
         “Y-yes, Lord Ren.” His legs are shaking. He’s still crying, finding that once he’s started it’s difficult to stop.  
         “Remember, this is your fantasy. I’m just acting in it. So relax and enjoy.”  
         Mitaka sobs and returns to his meaningless prayer. “Forgive me my sins, for they are many.”  
         “I’m sure they are. Considering the filthy things I’ve seen in your mind.”  
         “Allow me to serve your will however you see fit.”  
         Ren snickers. “Are you talking to your god or me?”  
         Drawing in a shuddering breath, Dopheld answers, “Please, just take what you want and leave me be.”  
         “So you can go back to the bridge filled with my come? Are you going to tell Hux what I did to you? Report me for violating you? Is there a form to fill out?”  
         Of course there is. “I don’t know what I’ll do,” he admits, far beyond coherent thoughts about the future, real or imagined.  
         Briefly, Ren is tempted to say, _All you can do is go to therapy._ But he instinctively knows that would be too low. “Hux can’t save you from me, you know.”  
          _—I know. I’m far beyond saving._  
         “That is correct.” Now Ren sets about fucking Mitaka into the wall. It’s odd to do this with the mask on, since it means the lieutenant can’t read him. And it helps the knight stay in monstrous character, since he can’t give in to the usual temptation of kissing the man. “I can feel your pain. It’s beautiful.”  
         “Our Maker, creator of the universe,” Dopheld begins again.  
         “No,” Ren hisses sharply, pinching Mitaka’s chin with gloved fingertips. “Look at me. I’ve changed my mind. Don’t recite some bullshit you learned by rote when you were a child. I know you no longer believe it.”  
         Tears clinging to his eyelashes, Mitaka gazes at him. “What do you wish me to say?”  
         “Tell me what I’m doing to you.”  
         “You’re… you’re…” he starts, then stops. “Please don’t make me say it.”  
        _—Do it._  
         With a sob, Mitaka relents. “You’re inside me.”  
          _—Where, Lieutenant?_  
         His lip trembles, his voice breaks. “My arse.”  
          _—What’s in your arse?_  
         “Your… dick.”  
          _—And?_  
         The rest of the words tumble out, strung so close together they almost overlap. “And you’re bloody raping me, Lord Ren.”  
         There’s that disembodied mechanical laugh again. “Spare me the drama. I can tell how much you’re enjoying this. It isn’t just your body betraying you. It’s your mind.”  
         Of course he’s enjoying this, because it _is_ his fantasy. But in the scene, he’s conflicted, and the whole setup is so realistic that he actually feels a struggle. Or perhaps it’s from his ambivalence at enjoying the scene. Dopheld hopes this doesn’t take long, because he’s not sure how much more he can handle. It’s intense, he can feel himself stretching to try to accommodate Ren, both physically and emotionally.  
          _—I’ll take as long as I want with you, Lieutenant._  
         “What if… someone walks in?”  
        _—No one could stop me. No one would dare try._  
         Dopheld imagines a crew-member, a technician or trooper, entering the room and witnessing their debauchery. The vision hits him in the gut, pulling a moan out from between his lips.  
          _—You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Having them see you like this, knowing what a filthy whore you really are. You, the perfect Lieutenant. Hux’s pet_. Aloud, he adds, “Look at you. What I’ve done to you.” He sighs almost wistfully. “Let me show you.”  
         An image intrudes into Dopheld’s mind. It takes him a moment to understand that he’s seeing himself, watching his own face while Ren fucks him against the wall. His cheeks are flushed, wet eyelashes sticking to the skin below his squinted eyes. Mouth open, panting, sweat beading across his collarbone. Mitaka thinks he looks like an actor in a cheap porn holo.  
         “You do,” Ren agrees. “You look like some poor bitch being recorded for credits. I should have brought my camera. So I could send the file to Hux.”  
         Dopheld squirms in Ren’s grasp.  
         “Oh, don’t want the general to know what you are? That I took you right here, slammed you into the wall, and you _loved_ it?”  
         “No, _don’t_ ,” he wails.  
         “You’re fucking. The two of you.” Ren laughs boisterously as though this is news to him. “He’ll be so furious to find out what I did to his plaything. Or are you boyfriends?” he teases.  
         Honestly, Dopheld says, “I don’t know what we are.”  
         “Do you think he’ll still want you after I’ve wrecked you? Should I send him a message to come use you once I’ve finished? I could hold you down while he adds more come to your ass.”  
         “Maker. Fuck.” Dopheld can longer pretend he isn’t relishing this.  
         “There you go. I knew you’d come around.” With that, Ren reaches one hand up and undoes the releases on his mask. Drops it to the floor and promptly bends his face down to bite down where Dopheld’s neck meets his shoulder.  
         Yelping, Dopheld digs his fingertips into Ren’s back, clawing at the man’s shoulder blades. “Yes. Ren.”  
         “Fuck, Mitaka. I’m close. Gonna—”  
         “Do it. Fill me up.”  
         The knight slips a gloved hand between them and starting with rough strokes, demands, “Come for me, Lieutenant. Show me how good I make you feel.”  
         “Lord Ren. Yes.” He suddenly feels very overheated as he shudders out his release, shooting over Ren’s glove and spattering the front of his robes.  
         The hand rises to his face, smears Dopheld’s come across his lips. “Taste yourself, you dirty bitch.”  
         Nodding, Dopheld licks his lips. He tries to come down but can’t, not with Ren still hammering at his sensitive, over-stretched hole. His legs tremble around the knight’s waist. “Please. Please.”  
         “Please what, Mitaka?”  
         “Finish in me. It’s too much.”  
         “Fuck. Fuck. Take it. Take it all.” With one more brutal thrust, Ren gasps and loses himself entirely. Then he leans against Mitaka, panting heavily as he recovers. He eases Mitaka’s feet to the floor, then sweeps him up, cradling him in his arms. “Such a good lieutenant.”  
         Mitaka groans as he remembers something important. “Blast. You tore my bloody trousers.”  
         “Sh. I brought another pair with me.” He gestures to the table behind him where fresh pants are waiting folded for their owner.  
         Chuckling in surprise at Kylo’s advance planning, Dopheld looks up at him. “Thank you. Not just for the pants, either.”  
         “How did it go?” Seeing the lieutenant’s grin, he asks, “As good as you hoped?”  
         “Better. Now let’s get home so we can shower. I’m filthy. As are you.” With a grin, Dopheld nods at Ren’s soiled robes. It would take a particular kind of obliviousness to miss the ejaculate just beginning to dry on the black cloth.

 

As the hot water rains down on them, Kylo keeps at least one arm around Dopheld at all times. Comfort. Support.  
         “So good,” he murmurs, nuzzling at the lieutenant’s neck as the suds wash from their bodies and down the drain. “I never imagined I’d like that kind of game. Thank you.”  
         “You got off on the power, didn’t you?” Dopheld asks, understanding because it had gotten him off as well.  
         Kylo nods. “And the way you fell apart. Went from shaking in fear to trembling with arousal.”  
         Dopheld hums quietly in reflection. “You are terrifying, you know. When you’re kitted out like that, stalking through the halls like some sort of demon.” He shuts the water off and they step onto the tile.  
         “How about you?” Kylo asks, handing Dopheld a towel. “What did you like?”  
         Mitaka smiles, thinking back on the highlights. “When you ripped my trousers. When you showed me what I looked like. When.” He turns to face Kylo, and the knight can see a flush on his cheeks that isn’t a residual effect from the hot water or the steam. “When you said you were raping me. And made me say it.” He hisses and twists the corners of the towel in his fists. “Bloody hell. I shouldn’t like that.”  
         Startled, Kylo cocks his head. “Why not?”  
         “It’s… worrisome.” He’s played ambivalent before, but never fully unwilling.  
         “How so?”  
         “Are you being purposefully obtuse? Rape isn’t sexy.”  
         “Well, not in the real world. But if you like the idea of playing with it, why not?”  
         “Because. Because of my own… trauma.”  
         Kylo starts, snapping his head toward Dopheld in instant concern. “Were you—”  
         “No. Just. I should… not be interested in… anything violent.”  
         “This is very unlike you, Dopheld. You’ve always been so comfortable with yourself.”  
         He nods and blinks at the floor. “Yes. This is one thing… I suppose… Hm.” It reminds him a bit of his reaction to the first time he’d been choked. _What’s wrong with me? How can I get off on this?_  
         Shaking his head, he decides to be an adult. He says, “Let’s talk over tea” and puts a kettle on. Kylo follows him into the kitchen.


	18. Still Weak

Kylo Ren awakes to the sound of Dopheld letting out a strangled shout.  
“Phel?” he asks quietly, drawing the man closer to his chest. He can feel Dopheld’s cold sweat transfer onto his own skin. Not again. He’d naively hoped that after Dopheld had admitted what gave him nightmares, he simply wouldn’t have another one.  
Mitaka shudders against the knight’s bare skin. “I’m sorry, Kylo,” he mumbles into the darkness.  
“For what?” Maybe for waking him up.  
“For being weak,” Dopheld admits. “Still so bloody weak. After all this time.”  
Kylo makes a distressed noise of his own. “No. No, stop that. You aren’t.”  
Dopheld feels his chest squeeze, and it’s suddenly very hard to breathe in a sufficient amount of air. And before he realises it’s about to happen, he’s sobbing fully. He’d get out of bed and lock himself in the fresher, but it’s too late for that. Although he knows he technically _could_ move, he feels utterly paralysed, too weak-willed and boneless to leave the mattress.  
“Sh. It’s okay.”  
“But it isn’t,” Mitaka gasps. “I’m not. I’m not okay. I’m just… _broken_.” The last word is more of a cry than intelligible sound.  
Kylo pets Dopheld’s hair because he has no idea what else to do. “What?”  
The lieutenant’s words exit between hiccoughing bursts of tears. “You heard me. I’m. Broken.” Something in him gets stuck on a loop, and he starts up a chant. “Broken. Weak. Broken. Weak.”  
“Stop, please, Phel…” Kylo begs. He sits up and turns the lights on low. Dopheld is curled into a foetal position, trembling visibly. The knight blinks, waking up a bit more fully. “Don’t you have meds for this?”  
“They just cover it up, Kylo. All the mess that’s underneath. That’s always there.”  
Reaching out to a portion of the Force he’s long ignored, Kylo sends small tendrils of comfort out towards his lover, wraps them around his being as best he can. Dopheld draws in a deeper breath than he’d previously been able to. “Where’s your prescription, Phel?”  
“In… in my drawer under the sink.”  
Kylo darts out of the bed, into the fresher, and reaches into the drawer. Fumbling through the regulation toiletries—toothbrush, dental paste, comb—his sleep-clumsy fingers close around a vial, then two others. Holding them up to the lights above the sink, he checks the labels.

 _Take 1 tablet by mouth once daily at bedtime as needed for sleep._  
_Take 1 tablet by mouth every morning._  
_Take 1 to 2 tablets by mouth every 8 hours as needed for anxiety/panic._

He grabs the third bottle, fills a glass with water, and returns to the bed. Shaking two tablets out into his cupped palm, he nudges Mitaka to sit up. “Take these,” he instructs.  
Dopheld sighs, then slumps against Kylo’s shoulder in resignation. He accepts the glass and the pills, downs them along with all the water.  
“How long do they take to work?”  
“Too damn long at this point,” the lieutenant mutters with a grimace. “And they taste terrible.”  
“Even with all that water?”  
An overly-serious nod. Kylo holds Dopheld in his arms while they both wait for the medication to kick in. Subtly, Mitaka’s sobs slow and his breathing steadies.  
“How are you feeling?” the knight asks once Mitaka is no longer clutching his shoulders as though he’s the last lifeboat on a poisonous ocean.  
“Calmer. Thank you.” He knows that if his emotions weren’t currently blunted, he’d feel ashamed for what Kylo just witnessed; he knows he’ll feel it tomorrow. But for now he simply breathes and is grateful. “Thank you so much.”  
“What do you do if that happens when you’re alone?”  
“Honestly? I crawl into the fresher unit and lie down on the tiles.” For some reason, the cold ceramic helps soothe him.  
“This bottle is almost full, and you’ve had it for—” The knight checks the date on the label, “Six months.”  
Mitaka frowns. “I don’t like taking them.”  
“Why not?”  
“They dull everything.”  
“Isn’t that the goal?”  
“No. I’d like to still have some energy or perhaps the will to do anything other than lie in bed. But that’s all that’s left after a dose of those bloody things. They hit too many receptors.” Theoretically, he’s permitted to take a single tablet while he’s on the clock—but he knows he wouldn’t be able to function.  
“Are there other options?”  
He’s had this conversation with Dr Opanna, and other than the daily antidepressant he’s already taking, there’s not much else he can do, pharmacologically speaking. “Not any that work as quickly or effectively.”  
“But these ones don’t work at all if you’re not willing to take them.”  
Mitaka furrows his brow. “Point taken.” Something less powerful that he’d actually use might be far more helpful. “By the way, if you’re interested, I’d probably be a very nice lay right now. All relaxed and pliant. I wouldn’t resist at all.”  
“You never resist, Phel,” Kylo points out. “Besides, I think you could just use another glass of water and some solid sleep.”  
“Have it your way,” Dopheld says dreamily. “You always do.”  
As he’s refilling the glass, Kylo realises his boyfriend is high.

 

“How are you feeling?” Kylo asks over breakfast. This time he’s actually eating something of his own; most likely this is because Dopheld finally confided that it unnerves him to eat alone.  
“A bit groggy,” Dopheld admits. “Bloody benzos. I’m going to need an espresso shot in my first caf today.” This is one of the reasons he doesn’t like to take the damn things in the first place.  
“Do you remember last night?”  
“Well enough. Thanks for your patience with me.”  
Kylo nods distantly. “I wasn’t fishing for gratitude. What I wanted to know was this: Do you recall propositioning me when you were whacked out of your mind?”  
Dopheld blinks as he reviews what he can of last night’s fuzziness. “Ah… No, not as such. But it sounds… familiar.” _It sounds like me at the Academy. Up for any new experience._ Especially if he’d thought it might help him keep certain thoughts at bay. The things he’d tried simply in order to stay distracted and awake…  
Kylo is continuing to speak. “Well, anyway, I think you ought to know I was the perfect gentleman.”  
“Congratulations on not taking advantage of me in my weakened and vulnerable state. You deserve a medal.”  
Despite the sarcasm, the knight preens a little. “Yes, I rather believe I do. I’ll have to ask Hux if he has any extras lying around.”  
Dopheld snorts as he imagines that particular conversation. “If that happens again, though, I’d like you to go ahead if you want.”  
“Wait, you…?” Kylo’s speech just tapers off into a question mark. His hand has frozen, spoonful of yoghurt stalled halfway towards his mouth.  
“Yes,” Dopheld confirms with a nod. “I want you to use my body while I’m high.” There’s a tightening knot currently forming in his stomach at the thought of waking up with a hazy memory of the previous night’s events. Piecing things together from blurry images and the parts of his body that are sore. And on top of it, of course, knowing that it was Kylo and therefore not overly cruel.  
The knight’s eyes have grown wide in concern. “That wouldn’t be technically consensual,” he points out.  
Mitaka responds with a smile. “I’m giving consent now.” He notices that Kylo hasn’t outright declined yet.  
Kylo frowns. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how consent works.”  
An unconcerned shrug from Dopheld follows. “I figured people like us can make our own rules.”  
“I… Well… I suppose I’ll see how I feel, if the situation arises.”  
While they finish their breakfasts without words, Dopheld wonders if Kylo might be tempted to take advantage of his high self—not to experiment with any sort of kinky act, but rather in order to make love to him.

 

“Yes, thank you, Commandant. I’m sure we all appreciate your take on this matter, and commend you for caring to remain involved despite your retirement.”  
The entire room can detect Hux’s icy tone, the carefully concealed _Fuck you, Father_ beneath his diplomatic words. Many of them are aware of the strained relationship between the pair, and anyone else could easily surmise it. Two strong personalities with a long history of differing opinions between them.  
Surely Commandant Brendol Hux can hear it too, but the only sign of this comprehension is a barely perceptible twitch of an eyelid. “You’re quite welcome, General. Good day to you all.”  
From behind his shoulder, Hux hears a small choked noise. Turning as he ends the feed, he sees Mitaka has silently entered the conference room, no doubt to brief him on the way to his next meeting.  
But Dopheld’s face betrays panic. He’s staring at the image of the aged Commandant Hux, gripping his datapad to his chest as though it’s the last shuttle off a dying planet.  
It takes Hux a good several seconds to deduce what it was that set this off. But once he has, he sweeps toward the lieutenant, takes firm hold of him by the elbow, and steers him into the hallway. After bypassing the lock to the neighbouring room, Hux nearly shoves Mitaka inside. It turns out to be a server control closet.  
“Breathe,” Hux instructs.  
Dopheld tilts his chin up, looks directly at his commander—and straight past him, through the ceiling tiles and out into empty space. His breaths exit his mouth in uneven gasps.  
“Dopheld,” the redhead says gently. “Dopheld.” He detects no response; it appears as though his lieutenant has fully dissociated. Hux knows Mitaka has a prescription medication for moments like these, but he also knows (without having to ask) that the man stubbornly refuses to carry it with him on duty. “Where are you, Dopheld?” he asks, voice low.  
Tears begin to course down Mitaka’s cheeks. “Arkanis,” he creaks out. “Third year training room.”  
“Tell me what you’re doing.” For some reason, Hux’s instinct is to walk Mitaka through this.  
“We’ve seen another one of the Commandant’s announcements. It’s an encouragement to the highest achieving cadets. I know what it means. It’s been too long since the last time I killed someone. I need to do it again, to pretend I’m not quite so weak.”  
“Who is he?”  
“A friend of a friend.” In a quiet whine, he adds, “I _like_ him.”  
“How does he die?”  
“Blaster bolt to the chest. But he doesn’t right away. Die, that is. I have to shoot him again to make him stop screaming. Point-blank in the head.” Shaking his own head, Dopheld adds, “Such a mess. My uniform was ruined.”  
The general thinks to say, _It’s alright._ But he knows it isn’t, not for Dopheld Mitaka. This will never be alright. The moment the lieutenant could casually accept his history of murder would be his undoing. Hux becomes aware that Mitaka is speaking again, more steadily now.  
“He was right, you know. The Commandant. There’s something wrong with me. I’m susceptible. To these sentiments. I should be better than this. Stronger. But instead I’m so weak.”  
Hux dares to take Mitaka by the chin. He can feel the leather of his gloves slip against tear-stained skin. “You’re human. It’s normal.”  
“I wish I weren’t. Normal.” He finally catches Hux’s gaze, holds it for a lingering beat. “Like you.” Then he looks away.  
“No, you don’t.” Hux leans down and finds himself embracing the lieutenant. “I’ve never had a proper relationship and I never shall. I envy you that.”  
Dopheld snorts wetly, then laughs at the ridiculous noise he just made. The man is coming back to himself, to the cramped room, to Hux. “You want Kylo Ren? Because he’s a mess.”  
“Of course he is,” Hux agrees as he pets Mitaka’s hair. “I could have told you that years ago.”  
Shrugging against Hux’s chest, Mitaka answers, “That’s alright, though. I’m a mess, too.”  
Hux nods once, cheek pressed against the lieutenant’s. “But you’re a highly functional mess. Unlike your boyfriend.”  
Mitaka feels the exhausted relief that settles in after a panic attack dissipates, and he chuckles. “I’ll tell you a secret.” Standing on tiptoes, his lips brush Hux’s ear. “He has Vader’s helmet.”  
“What.” Hux’s voice is both flat and horrified all at once.  
“And sometimes he talks to it. He thinks I don’t know.”  
“Oh, Maker. Dopheld, I think you should put your psychotherapy sessions on hold. I can think of someone who needs to see Dr Opanna a great deal more than you do.”  
Through the tears, Dopheld flashes him a smile, bright and genuine. “Thank you, Hux.”  
The general reaches down to give Mitaka’s hand a brief encouraging squeeze, then lets it go in order to wipe the lieutenant’s face. “You’re quite welcome. Now, tell me about this next meeting.”  
Dopheld takes a steadying breath. “It’s with Alter Jaemus from Sienar-Jaemus Fleet Systems. We’re slated to negotiate the new contract for P-s6 engines.” His voice becomes stronger and smoother with each word.  
“Ah, yes. He’s the inbred prat with buck teeth, correct?”  
After coughing into a fist politely, Dopheld ends up agreeing with Hux’s assessment. “That would be him, yes.”  
“He’s also gay, you know.”  
Mitaka blinks. “I did not.”  
“Hm. Perhaps you could flirt with him a little. Knock him off guard.”  
“You want me to distract him so you can get a better deal?” the lieutenant asks with both eyebrows raised.  
“No, not really. That was a poor joke. Unless you think it was funny.”  
With eyes narrowed in thought, Dopheld allows, “It might have been.”

 

Seated across the boardroom table from one another, Mitaka catches and holds Alter Jaemus’ gaze a little too long for professionalism. The businessman smiles, and Dopheld drops his eyes to pay renewed attention to the screen of his tablet.  
Eventually his stylus finds its way to his lips. He taps the end against them absently, then briefly checks to see whether he has Jaemus’ attention. Not yet. His lips part and he brings the tip of the stylus between them. Jaemus’ eyes flit towards him. Dopheld allows his tongue to dart out to lick the stylus very briefly.  
Jaemus swallows. Hard.  
Mitaka looks up at him and bites his lower lip. He watches the businessman breathe out. Then he works the stylus between his lips and past his teeth. He presses it against the inside of his cheek, allowing it to jut out obscenely.  
Jaemus’ eyebrows lift. A question.  
Mitaka nods imperceptibly. Oh, yes. Within moments, a banner appears on the top of his screen to alert him of a new message and he checks it.  
_**AJ:** You appear to be enjoying that stylus a great deal, Lieutenant._  
_**DM:** Just a bit bored. Imagining it were something else entirely._  
_**AJ:** Yes?_  
_**DM:** Specifically something of yours._  
_**AJ:** I’d love to make that come true. I’ve a weakness for young men in uniforms._  
_**DM:** After this, care to take a detour into one of the supply closets?_  
_**AJ:** And how. What would we do in there?_  
_**DM** : Well, I’d start with my mouth on you. And I’m not talking about kissing._  
_**AJ:** Would you let me fuck your face? I’m rather large, and I’d like to feel the inside of your throat._  
_**DM:** Yes. I love being choked by a thick cock._  
_**AJ:** Good. Then I want to rim your hole before I fuck it._  
Dopheld dares to make eye contact across the table. He gives Jaemus a brilliant grin before returning his attention to the contract under discussion. Honestly, the man isn’t that bad looking. With a few drinks in him and no current partner (or partners), Dopheld might in fact be tempted.  
As they exit the room, Mitaka maintains a polite distance as Hux and Jaemus have a few private words. Soon enough, the two shake hands, nod, and take their leave of one another. The lieutenant is unsurprised when Jaemus makes his way over to him and gives him a quick smile.  
“Lieutenant Mitaka,” he says quietly, almost in a whisper as he leans over him. “I’m only here for another few hours, but I’d love to spend them with you.”  
Smiling up at the man who desperately wants to get him alone in a closet, Mitaka begins, “Mr Jaemus, I’d be happy to show you what I can do—”  
“Lieutenant Mitaka!” Hux barks from down the hall. “I require your immediate assistance. We have a situation that is going to take hours to resolve.”  
Giving Jaemus a look of helpless disappointment, Mitaka turns away. Rushing to catch up to Hux, he murmurs, “I hope that was just a ruse to extract me from that predicament.”  
“Of course, Lieutenant.” He smiles over at Dopheld. “By the way, Mitaka, what did you do to him?”  
“Very little, sir.” He hadn’t had much opportunity.  
Shaking his head, Hux insists, “I doubt that. Because he just agreed to a nineteen percent discount.”  
“Nineteen?” They’d only been hoping for a maximum of thirteen.  
“Indeed.”  
Switching his hold on his datapad to his other hand and back nervously, Dopheld responds in a lower voice. “Ah. Well, I must have given him a very distracting hard-on.”  
“May I ask what was said between the two of you?”  
Mitaka agrees instantly. “Certainly, sir.”  
Hux nods at the door of his office. Once they’re seated at his desk, Mitaka brings up his conversation with Jaemus and hands his pad over to the general.  
Having read through their exchange, Hux looks over at him and asks, “What does he mean by ‘rim’?”  
Blushing a little, Dopheld says, “Analingus, sir.”  
“Tonguing the…” Hux’s cheeks flush as well as he comprehends the word. “Oh, my. Really?”  
With a serious nod, Dopheld confirms this. “Really. But not too many men will offer that for a one-time hookup.” Honestly, he’d been impressed by Jaemus for that very simple reason.  
“How strange does that feel?”  
“It’s a unique sensation. A bit like washing yourself, but more intense.”  
Hux continues with a vague smile, “And pleasant, I’m guessing?”  
“I’ll show you sometime, if you’d like.” He’s always happy to satisfy the general’s curiosity.  
Once again, Hux appears astonished by the things Mitaka is willing to do for him. “Oh. I’ll keep that in mind.” He clears his throat and hands the lieutenant’s datapad back to him. “You should return to the bridge.”  
“Of course, sir,” Mitaka agrees, standing and smoothing down his tunic as he reminds himself to return to professionalism.  
“I’ll be there shortly myself,” Hux promises. “Just have to settle the SJFS contract paperwork first.”  
“If you speak to Kylo Ren before I do, would you mind letting him know about the… incident… in the server room? I’d really appreciate if I didn’t have to explain everything from the beginning.”  
Hux nods. “Yes, I can do that for you.”  
After the door closes behind Mitaka, Hux immediately comms Kylo Ren and is surprised when the knight answers immediately.  
“How can I help you, General?”  
He slouches a bit as he settles into his chair and lights a cigarette. “Ren, Lieutenant Mitaka had a bit of a trying day.” In vain, he tries to put the image of Vader’s helmet out of his mind for the duration of this conversation.  
Kylo’s concerned voice crackles through the comm. “Is he all right?”  
“Yes, now he is. But I felt I ought to apprise you of the situation, and he said it would be easier if I were to explain a bit. So he doesn’t have to say so much later.” Hux launches into a report, summarising the key details.  
When he’s finished, it takes a while for Lord Ren to respond. “I… thank you for your assistance, Hux.”  
“You know, Ren,” he begins with a patronising smile, “we may be able to make you a useful member of society yet.”  
“You’re one to talk, Starkiller.”  
Hux’s eyes narrow instantaneously. “That word is classified and I’d appreciate your not using it as a nickname.” He already knows he’s asking too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Discussion of sex under the influence of a psychoactive substance  
> \- PTSD flashback  
> \- (Mis)use of sexuality as a negotiating tactic


	19. Regression

When Dopheld returns home at the end of his shift, Kylo gives him a kiss on the cheek and murmurs, “Hux said you had a trying day.” Mitaka worries his lower lip between his front teeth and nods. “Do you want to talk about it?”  
         “No.” He breathes in and out, measuring his intake and output of air. “Perhaps I should, though. Over dinner?”  
         Kylo nods. “Over dinner.”  
         During dinner, Dopheld begins detailing his breakdown in halting phrases. “I… Yes. I ended up in a closet with Hux.” Noting Kylo’s instantaneous leer, he snaps, “Not like that, unfortunately. It was more of a… a flashback, to be honest.” He looks down at his shoes. “I haven’t had one of those while awake in years. Well, more material to cover in psychotherapy.” He kicks at the edge of the rug a bit childishly as he continues.  
         “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you today. But have to admit, I’m impressed with Hux.”  
         “Yes. I didn’t expect him to be so adept at handling my weaknesses.”  
         With a slight frown, Kylo mumbles, “I still don’t like it when you use that word.”  
         “What else is it, Kylo?” Dopheld asks, risking a glance up across the table.  
         “I’m not sure. But I hate the way you phrase it like it’s all your fault.” He reaches a hand out and squeezes Dopheld’s. “There are some things that no one can survive unscathed.”  
         “Except Hux,” Mitaka points out, his tone somewhat surly.  
         Kylo has to agree. “Except Hux. Who doesn’t experience emotions like the rest of us.”  
         “No.”  
         “You’re jealous of that.”  
         “I am,” Dopheld agrees.  
         “Once you told me you didn’t want to feel numb.”  
         Brow crinkling, Mitaka struggles to explain this. “But my numbness is a product of exhaustion, from having my emotions wrung out of me. He, on the other hand, never seemed to have them in the first place. I can’t help but wonder what that’s like.”  
         “It has its own pitfalls. Hux spends most of his social interactions feeling out of place. He’s had very few close friends, and no lovers before you. He wonders if his life is hollow, if he’s the husk of a complete person.”  
         Blinking in astonishment, all Dopheld can do is whisper, “Oh.” He’s never considered how an aromantic person might feel pathologised in a galaxy full of others pursuing love at all costs. “But how do you—Right. Force.” He tilts his head in consideration. “I wish it could help me in some way.”  
         “Perhaps it could,” Kylo suggests cryptically.  
         Dopheld leans forward in his chair. “What are you proposing?”  
         “Force-guided regression.”  
         “Oh,” Dopheld says, startled. “Like hypnosis or meditation?”  
         “Yes, except you’d see things much more clearly, and I’d be able to see it, too.”  
         Frowning, Dopheld hugs his arms to his chest. “I don’t want to see it. That’s rather the point.” Also, he doesn’t want to show Kylo what he’d done. He’s held his damaged pieces close all this time, and sharing them at all is an act of excruciating intimacy. It feels like removing his intestines and holding them out for approval in his bloody hands.  
         “I know. But because of the way you’re holding it down, it’s bubbling up in ways you can’t control.”  
         Dopheld is sorely tempted to retort that Kylo Ren isn’t precisely a guru when it comes to emotional intelligence. Instead, he confesses, “I know. And years of standard therapy haven’t fixed that.” He hums just under his breath. “I suppose you can try.”  
         “Phel,” Kylo murmurs into Mitaka’s ear. “You know I’m going to need clearer consent than that.”  
         Looking up, Dopheld narrows his eyes and sticks out his tongue. “Fine. Do your magic hoodoo to help me face my demons.”  
         “I suppose that’s better.” Kylo allows guardedly.

 

Three day cycles later, Mitaka is off duty. Dopheld has pre-medicated with an anxiolytic washed down with some foul-tasting tisane that Lord Ren insists is calming. The couple is seated on the floor of their bedroom, lights at a dramatically low ten percent and Ren has a stick of incense going. Mitaka tries to take it seriously, but with the benzo on board it’s a losing battle. He’s suppressing a nervous giggle as best he can.  
         Kylo wants Dopheld to review the memory of the first murder from beginning to miserable end. It’s the first time in years Dopheld has replayed the entire thing, willingly or otherwise. His mind has been breaking it into small pieces, chunks just large enough to effectively give him nightmares. But Kylo says he wants to know how it happened, and the knight is in a unique position to truly watch.  
         “How old were you, Phel?” Ren asks, quietly but steadily.  
         “I’d just turned nineteen. I’d been at the Academy for nearly two semesters.”  
         “What was his name?”  
         Dopheld sucks in a harsh breath. “Gildan Onata.”  
         Kylo reaches out and on locating the boy’s face in Mitaka’s memory, pulls it to the surface. Dopheld gasps. All of a sudden he has no difficulty focusing. “I’m there,” he whispers. It’s much the same as how he’d felt in the server room with Hux, except this was encouraged—and he has no pressing duties to attend to.  
         “Where are you?”  
         “Central courtyard between the dormitories. It’s the week before final exams.” Wistfully, he adds, “I want to be studying.” Studying is a rational use of his time, and he’s excellent at it. His marks have been phenomenal, and he fully intends to finish out his first year on the same note.  
         “Tell me what you see.”  
         Turning his head to survey the long-vanished crowd, Dopheld murmurs, “It’s raining lightly. I’m standing on the flagstones, facing him. There are… twenty-three cadets present besides the two of us.”  
         Show me.”  
         Dopheld lets Kylo in, and the scene moves forward.  
         

_Second-Year Officer Candidate D. Mitaka would be hard pressed to explain how he came to be here, standing five metres from Gildan, surrounded by a ring of other cadets._  
 _“Well. Here we are.” Gildan leans over to spit onto the wet paving stone at his feet._  
 _Dopheld wrinkles his nose at the small splat and forces himself to meet his classmate’s eyes. “Yes. So we are.”_  
 _Gildan draws in a deep breath and flicks open his knife. Automatically, Dopheld mirrors the move. On a purely academic level, he understands. He’s here to prove he’s officer material. To show he isn’t weak, that he can do what has to be done, regardless of how personally distasteful he may find it._  
 _And he does. He’s fought a low grade nausea all week, ever since he realised what his rivalry with Gildan would come to. Neither of them is particularly hardened or vicious; they’re both known among their respective social groups as eminently reasonable, scholarly even. They’ve earned high marks in history, in tactics. Although both are competent marksmen, neither has distinguished himself in combat sims._  
 _Which brings them here. Pushed to extremes by peers and the entire inexorable machinery that is Arkanis Academy and the First Order beyond it. Because as much as Mitaka has no especial ill will towards Gildan—and vice versa—they’re both too far invested in their futures as officers to back out now._  
 _Mitaka makes the first move, which surprises the spectators. Everything goes silent (or perhaps he simply doesn’t register any further sounds). The two boys in the centre of the circle say nothing. They have nothing left to say to one another. Words have become obsolete._  
 _All in all, it’s a rather disappointing show as far as theatrics are concerned. In under seven minutes, Mitaka has drawn his blade across Gildan’s throat and dropped his body onto the pavement. Looking down at the knife in his hand, Dopheld remains oddly composed. He nudges the corpse with the toe of one boot and notes an utter lack of revulsion. Just another dead classmate, nothing remarkable. Except he made this one._  
No one thought I could do this. Well.  
 _To be perfectly honest, Dopheld himself had been one of those doubters until only a few minutes ago. Until he’d flicked the knife open and everything had become instantly, devastatingly clear._  
 _A security detachment arrives to debrief Cadet D. Mitaka. Throughout their questions, his voice is steady. He still isn’t sure what Gildan’s death accomplished, other than the fact that such “achievements” are expected from students of Dopheld’s calibre. In a distanced sort of way, he wonders how exactly this policy developed. Had there once been such an excess of officer candidates that winnowing became necessary?_  
 _Because Gildan would have made a better colleague than rival. There had been no malice behind their competition. And yet, by cutting another young man’s throat Dopheld Mitaka has added his own name to the list headed “Leadership Potential.”_  
 _As the interview winds to a close, Mitaka is unsurprised to find he doesn’t feel any stronger or worthier than he did half an hour ago. Only a bit more tired, and in desperate need of a shower. Which is an odd perk for committing murder: he’s studied at the Academy for almost a standard year and today he’s being allotted his first hot water ration to bathe. As far as rewards go, it should be mediocre, but he’s aching for it now._  
         

         Kylo speaks up. “I’m going to count down from five. At zero, you’ll come back to me. And you’ll feel calm. Do you understand, Dopheld?”  
         Mitaka nods. Ren counts. At naught, the lieutenant’s eyes open and he stares at the man across from him.  
         “How are you feeling?”  
         Dopheld blinks and stretches his limbs slowly. “Tired,” he admits.  
         “Thank you for letting me in. May I hold you?”  
         Mitaka clambers into Ren’s lap and settles into his arms. He imagines he could sleep like this and not dream at all. But then the knight is kissing him, he’s kissing back, and he doesn’t feel quite so exhausted any more.  
         They don’t fuck. True, they have sex, but it’s different tonight. Kylo’s touches, although insistent, are gentle. And when the knight’s breath hitches in his throat and he begins to spill, Dopheld discovers tears in his own eyes. He’s never felt this grateful before.

 

After dinner that night, Dopheld falls asleep before Kylo. The officer must be truly exhausted.  
         Kylo is pulled awake by waves of darkness flowing from Mitaka. The lieutenant is deep in the grip of another nightmarish memory, tossed back in forth by waves of self-recrimination.  
        _Weak. You’re so bloody weak and useless._  
         Mitaka’s fingers are curled into fists tight enough to block off circulation.  
          _Can’t even follow simple orders._  
         He sobs once, then sinks back into the dream. Kylo follows him down.

          _“Cadet Mitaka, can you hear my voice?” It’s a man speaking over an intercom._  
 _“Yes, sir.” Dopheld is seated alone in the room, wearing loose-fitting clothes similar to those worn by medical staff. Kylo starts when he notices that the boy’s wrists are secured to the armrests and his ankles to the chair legs behind them. Wires run along Dopheld’s neck and his forearms. They must be attached to electrodes adhaered to his skin. The knight can see nothing else in the room besides a projection screen on the wall facing Dopheld._  
 _“Very good,” the disembodied voice declares. “Are you ready to begin?”_  
 _“I am, sir.”_  
 _An image appears on the screen in front of him. Gildan, throat cut, bleeding out on the paving stones. Dopheld whimpers and instinctively adverts his eyes._  
 _“Look at it, Cadet Mitaka. What do you feel?”_  
 _He knows this procedure will only work if he’s honest with himself and the technicians. He inhales deeply and entrusts himself to their expertise and care. “Remorse, sir.”_  
 _“Why?” The voice sounds more curious than accusatory._  
 _Under the influence of the hypnotic cocktail the staff had instructed him to swallow earlier, Dopheld says things aloud he wouldn’t otherwise dare. “It was a pointless death. He would have been a good officer.” At this, he receives a mild shock. Kylo finally understands what purpose the electrodes serve—they’re not present to simply monitor Dopheld’s physiological reactions, but to induce them as well._  
 _“His death will serve to make_ you _a_ better _officer.”_  
 _Dopheld worries his lower lip between his teeth. “I don’t presume to be better than he…” A second shock. “I’m sorry, I still have doubts. I shouldn’t, I know that. But I’m weak.”_  
 _The voice is oddly reassuring, almost kind. “You’re promising, and you came here to work on it. To improve yourself. Look again, more closely this time.” The image zooms in to magnify the dead boy’s bloodless face. “What do you see?”_  
 _“Gildan Onata.”_  
 _The voltage increases. “Try again, Cadet.”_  
 _“A student.” Mitaka’s spine arches as the electricity short-circuits peripheral nerve activity._  
 _“_ Again.”  
 _“A corpse.” Yet higher again. Tears are coursing down Mitaka’s cheeks. His teeth ache. He now knows what he has to say. Closes his eyes and spits it out. “A failure.”_  
 _“Good. We’re done for the day, Cadet. You’re progressing very well.”_  
 _Once he’s unhooked from the conducting pads, Dopheld is wheeled to the recovery room. He’s given a tall glass of ice water, an antipyretic, and two glucose tablets. The headache will persist for the rest of the day._

         Kylo wants to wake him up, to bring him out of it immediately, but something tells him that might cause an unnecessary shock. But he desperately needs to do something to comfort the lieutenant.  
         “I had no idea,” he whispers, brushing Mitaka’s hair with his fingertips. “What you’ve been through. What they put you through.” He hadn’t known that cadets had been subjected to reconditioning.  
         Trapped halfway inside his memory, Dopheld catches hold of Kylo’s voice. “I asked for it. Because it was necessary. It made me what I am today.”  
        _Yes, the second part is undeniably true,_ the knight thinks. _It gave you a chronic mental illness._  
         How could Kylo possibly hope to undo years of indoctrination? And would he really want to? It might cause Mitaka to doubt his loyalty to the Order. Yet he pushes anyway.          “You don’t actually believe that. You know it went too far.”  
         Mitaka’s eyes fly open and he looks at and through Kylo all at once. “I know,” he admits calmly. “And I was too weak-willed to resist. _That_ was my failure. To bend to their insistence. To cave in under that pressure. To betray myself and everything my parents taught me about what was good and right and _just_. The underlying principles of the First Order which were twisted into an ugly mockery at Arkanis.”  
         Kylo knows that Mitaka’s in a hypnotic state and as such will not consciously remember what he’s saying now. But he fervently hopes the lieutenant will recall the gist of it. “Those principles. Are they a twisted mockery here?”  
         “No. I still believe in what we’re doing. I just… wish I hadn’t… given in back then.” Those four names and faces are etched into his being; he carries them with him all the time. Which is only fitting, but he’d rather all four were still alive, not murdered in an attempt to prove he was something he never could have become.  
         “I know,” Kylo soothes, still petting Dopheld’s hair. “But it would have killed you. And I’m glad you survived.”  
         “Thank you.”  
         “I need you to do something for me, Dopheld. Can you do that?”  
         “What?” Mitaka asks dreamily.  
         “I need you to wake up.”  
         The lieutenant’s eyes glaze over for a split second before refocusing. “Hey, Kylo,” he murmurs, a peaceful smile on his face.  
         “Hi, Phel.”  
         Dopheld lets out a chuckle that sounds like relief, then he hums. It sounds like a half-remembered song.  
         “Go back to sleep now, love.”  
         He does, quietly, blissfully. And dreamlessly.  
         When the alarm sounds, Mitaka awakes feeling refreshed for the first time in over a year. Glancing over at Kylo’s sprawled form, he smiles. “Arsehole,” he swears gently. “I think your sleep habits are wearing off on me.” He checks his tracker to be sure. Restless eighteen times, all before 0130. Then straight sleep for the next five hours.  
         “Mmph?” Kylo asks blearily.  
         “Nothing,” Mitaka calls out as he swings his legs over the side of the bed. “Just declaring my undying affection.”


	20. Introduction

Kylo gazes into Mitaka’s glassy eyes. The lieutenant appears to be looking just past him. It’s unnerving. To rouse him, the knight slaps his face, although more lightly than usual.  
         “Hm?” Mitaka asks, stirring a little on the mattress where he’s nestled naked between the sheets. It’s difficult to believe that not forty minutes ago he was staring at the wall and beginning to tremble. But somehow Kylo had managed to get a sedative down his throat and luckily it kicked in soon enough to curtail the looming panic attack. Then Dopheld had given Kylo a meaningful look and suggested the knight “make use” of him.  
         “Focus,” Kylo orders sharply. “Please do try to pay attention to me.”  
         Dopheld mumbles, “Y’sir.” His voice is thick with drowsiness and he appears to be sinking roots down into the bed. But Kylo’s interest is piqued and he’s now invested.  
         “Thank you,” the knight answers sarcastically—but suspects that Mitaka doesn’t notice. Instead the lieutenant returns to giving his slightly dazed smile. It’s similar to the expression he wears when he’s entirely fucked out, except now he’s unnaturally calm. Kylo tells himself he wouldn’t like this on a regular basis, but the novelty has him achingly hard. Placing a hand across Dopheld’s throat, he growls, “How about you beg me to fuck you.”  
         Mitaka’s responding plea (“Fuck me, please fuck me”) rings hollow, and Kylo finally knows what the man would sound like if he were in fact a rent-boy. There really is quite a difference between this rote recital and his boyfriend’s usual enthusiasm. Reflecting on this, Kylo slathers lubricant on his cock and hoists the lieutenant’s ankles onto his shoulders.  
         “You know what you are right now?” Kylo asks as he takes himself in hand and eases in.  
         “What am I?” Dopheld asks with a quiet gasp of subdued pleasure.  
         “A druggie whore.”  
         Mitaka turns his face to the side and gives a private little smirk. “Suppose I am.” His brow creases slightly when Kylo pushes past his resistance, but this is the easiest it’s ever been. His sphincter only gives a weak flutter before allowing Ren full access to his inner sanctum.  
         The knight comments on this with a moan. “Gods, you’re so fucking loose.”  
         “Yeah, it’s also a muscle relaxant.” His words are slow but steady; he’s seems to be focusing on responding like this is a normal conversation.  
         “Feels like you’ve been fucked all night.”  
         Mitaka snorts. “Oh, you like it. You’re enjoying the thought that I’m just some junkie who’s only taking you to pay for his next fix.”  
         “Don’t judge,” Kylo admonishes. “You’re enjoying it, too. Here.” He stretches an arm out to the side and Force-pulls a pouch to him. “Let’s do this right.” Opening it, he reaches in, grabs a fistful of the contents, and then scatters them onto the bed near Mitaka’s pillow. They’re credit chips. “What’s your name again?” he asks with a glint in his eyes.  
         “What do you care?” Dopheld shoots back.  
         Kylo shrugs. “Well, I’m Ren. I want you to scream it when I come.”  
         “Fair enough,” Dopheld agrees in a bored voice. “You’re the boss til you finish. I’m Doph, though.”  
         “How many men have you already taken tonight?” Kylo inquires as he pistons into the pliant body below him.  
         Dopheld—no, _Doph_ , Kylo corrects himself—answers with a smirk, “Just you, love.”  
         Kylo backhands him sharply. “Don’t try that act. You’re not classy enough for it.”  
         “Fine, asshole,” Doph spits. “Three. But the night’s still young.”  
         “Yes, and you’re cheap.” Kylo nearly pulls out in order to shift to shallow, teasing thrusts. “Shit, I’ve never been with a whore who’ll take it bare. I mean, I’ve _convinced_ a few to change their minds. But you led with that.” In a lightly mocking voice, he invents a portion of their earlier conversation. “‘Twenty more credits and you don’t need a rubber.’ Tell me, did all three tricks come in this hole?”  
         “Two did. The first had me swallow it.”  
         “Out of your ass? Disgusting,” Ren concludes. “Those two loads still in here from earlier?”  
         Doph scoffs. “Can you feel ‘em?” he asks sarcastically before supplying the answer. “No. ’Cuz I wash up between jobs.”  
         “Good. Because I didn’t pay to fuck you with a stranger’s come as lube. So, what’s the most loads you’ve taken in one shift?”  
         The boy grins. “I do parties sometimes. Me and this other boy, last month we worked a room of thirty. Course I took most of ‘em. I’m the prettier one, and I don’t cry when I’m in pain.”  
         Kylo notes the look of defiant pride on Doph’s face. “That’s because you’re high most of the time, aren’t you?”  
         “Certainly helps.” Quirking an eyebrow, he asks, “Why, you think you could do my job sober?”  
         “I could _never_ degrade myself the way you do.”  
         “Good thing there’s bitches like me, then.” Again, that misplaced pride in activities that most would find shameful. Kylo loves it, revels in Mitaka’s comfort with uncomfortable roles.  
         Ren grabs Doph by the shoulder and slams himself in to the hilt, causing the boy to arch off the mattress. “Oh, yes. You provide a real service. The galaxy needs its come-dumps and fuck-toys.”  
         “Show me twenty more credits before _you_ think about unloading in me,” Doph says in a warning tone.  
         The knight huffs at the newly disclosed fee. “On top of the twenty to fuck you bare? Are you kidding?” He manages to sound offended at this reasonable request. “What if I just shoot in this filthy hole and leave you full of me?”  
         “I’ll call security.”  
         “You don’t have security.” He takes both of Doph’s wrists in a single hand and pins them to the mattress. “Just a pistol under your mattress that you won’t be able to reach.”  
         “Fucking bastard,” Doph hisses right before he does the unthinkable and spits in Kylo’s face. “You can’t rip me off like that.”  
         Turning his face to wipe the spittle onto a hunched shoulder, Kylo responds in a terribly calm voice. He imagines he’s speaking like Hux: cold, confident, controlled. “Oh, I think you’ll find there’s plenty I can do. And who’s going to care, hm? I wonder, if I take you again without paying, is that rape or theft? If I hurt you or even cut your throat after I’m done, it won’t matter at all.” He stares down at the uncanny impression of a mostly broken boy below him. “But you already knew that. You don’t mind being hurt, don’t you?”  
         “I can take it,” the whore insists. “I’m a professional.”  
         “That’s the spirit. You know, you really are quite pretty. Even drugged up and fucked out. How old are you?”  
         “Nineteen.”  
         Deciding on a whim that this is a lie, Kylo backhands him twice. “How _old_ are you?”  
         Dopheld corrects his earlier statement. “Twenty two.”  
         “How long have you been doing this?”  
         “Gettin’ fucked by privileged assholes who never had to worry where the next meal’s comin’ from? Who can’t convince their own boy- or girlfriends to do the filthy things they want in bed?”  
         Things like role-playing a session with a low-rent hooker, for example. “Yes.”  
         “Six years. And I’ve got maybe five more years left before one of you kills me or I overdose.”  
         “At least you’re not an idiot.” _Gods, this would be so depressing if it weren’t an act._ Luckily it’s false and Kylo’s blindingly hard, nearing completion. But he can tell there’s something holding Dopheld back from becoming fully aroused, and it finally hits him that it’s likely an unwanted side effect of the medication. Through the Force, Kylo flicks away the barrier between Mitaka and a proper hard-on.  
         “So,” Dopheld sneers, “is this a date, or are you gonna come in me some time this evening?”  
         Kylo snorts derisively. “I’d never date a piece of trash like you.” He punctuates this with a punishing speed and depth.  
         “Then get off and get out already,” Dopheld pants. “I’ve got a hit to take before I can put up with another customer like you.”  
         The knight briefly wraps his fingers around Doph’s erection to prove the boy is in fact physically enjoying the way his body is being pummeled. “Mm. Don’t pretend you’re not getting something out of this. On top of the money, that is. Want me to come in your worthless ass?”  
         Dopheld answers in short phrases as he gasps with Kylo’s thrusts. “What I want… doesn’t matter… and never has.”  
         “You’d better thank me for this. I wish you were sober so you could really feel me.”  
         “Well, _I_ don’t,” Doph says in a fair imitation of a scoff. “You’re too big for my personal tastes… nnn, fuck. Ren.”  
         “I’m sorry,” Kylo teases with a wicked grin as he notes the first use of his title this evening. “Did I happen to hit a sweet spot just then?”  
         “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dopheld chants as he reaches between their sweat-streaked bodies to stroke himself. Kylo can feel how the interplay between the drug and scenario have rendered his boyfriend especially uninhibited. “Please don’t stop what you’re doin’ to me. You’re gonna make me come, Ren.”  
         “You certainly chose the right career. I imagine this is the only thing you’re good at.” Dopheld moans wildly at the insult. “I can tell you love being used like this, and you know you deserve it.”  
         “Yeah, I do,” the whore agrees whole-heartedly. “Use me. Get your money’s worth outta my body.”  
         “I may give you that twenty after all. Along with my come. Are you ready for it? Because I’m about to fill you up.”  
         Dopheld wails and he begins to spill onto his stomach. “Fuck, please give it to me. Shoot deep inside me.” When he feels Kylo’s rhythm stutter and his breath hitch, he shouts, “Ren! Please, Ren!”  
         Throwing his head back, Kylo empties. He can’t remember the last time he’s postponed an orgasm this long, and the delayed release has him seeing lights behind his closed eyelids. Then he collapses, rolling Mitaka on top of him, clutching the lieutenant to his chest. Peppering his face with kisses, he murmurs, “So good. So fucking good. Thank you, thank you, love you.”  
         Mitaka doesn’t say anything, he just smiles dreamily and falls asleep with Kylo softening inside him.

 

The next morning, Kylo wakes Dopheld by brushing his fingers against his cheek. They kiss lazily. There’s nowhere they need to be this cycle, so they’ll remain in bed as long as Dopheld can stand to be slothful.  
         “I hope you remember last night.”  
         “Oh, I do. Actually…” Dopheld twists an arm under his back. “I think I slept on top of a five-credit piece.” He looks appraisingly at the plastisteel coin, then sets it on the bedside table. As he reaches over, Kylo quietly chuckles. “What?”  
         “You did. There’s a circle pressed into your back.”  
         Dopheld pokes at the dent in his skin and starts laughing as well. “Alright,” he admits, “Now I feel like a dirty whore.” Shrugging, he adds, “Not that I mind.”  
         “You were incredible,” Kylo murmurs, placing a soft kiss on the lieutenant’s nearest temple. “That character…” He doesn’t finish the statement, just sighs.  
         “Oh, Doph? You liked him? He’s a sad, bitter bastard.”  
         “You’ve played him before?”  
         “Yes, although it’s been a while. I developed him for an engineer I used to see. I was never actually drugged during play, though. I suppose that added a measure of realism to the scenario.”  
         Kylo runs his hands up and down Mitaka’s spine. “I certainly wouldn’t mind paying him another visit. Hm. Now I'm wondering if Hux would like him.”  
         “I think an introduction would be a bit premature at this juncture.”  
         “Yes, I suppose the general may not be ready to hire a whore. Maybe eventually they can meet.” He stretches an arm out to tousle Dopheld’s sleep-mussed hair. “If you were a drugged prostitute and I met you, I’d do everything within my power to rescue you.”  
         Blinking at the sudden rush of emotions this statement unleashes, Mitaka squeezes Kylo’s hand. “Thanks, love.” Silently, he adds, _Thanks for trying to rescue me from my mind._  
_—Of course, Phel._

 

Sighing internally as he prepares for the assuredly bizarre conversation he’s about to have, Hux takes a swig of cold caf and announces, “Good day, Mr and Mrs Mitaka.”  
         “Thank you so much for responding to our missive, General Hux. We know you’re terribly busy, but this is very important to us.”  
         “I’m sure it must be. Although I have no children of my own and no surviving family, I know that blood relations mean a great deal to people.” _Did that sound especially sociopathic? Or just formally polite?_ Once again, he wonders at the precise location of the boundary between the two. “That being said, what precisely are your concerns about your son?” He’d received their letter eleven day cycles ago and has been sitting on it in surprise the entire length of time. Yesterday he’d reached out to inquire about scheduling a holoconference, and the couple had responded within minutes.  
         Rigal Mitaka takes over. “We recognise that, legally speaking, we have no authority over him or the decisions he makes. But the officer’s code directs those who serve the Order to be of sound moral character, and unfortunately I feel it’s our duty to inform you that Dopheld’s actions do not fit that requirement.”  
         “Oh.” Hux pauses, brow furrowing as he suddenly wonders whether there’s something Dopheld has kept from him. But there’s nothing in his personnel file or actions to even suggest that. Unless it has something to do with PTSD—which the Order itself had caused in the first place, and Hux had given informed consent for the lieutenant to continue his service as long as he remained in effective treatment. “How so, exactly?”  
         “It’s his… personal… liaisons. It recently came to light that he’s been… engaging in… unnatural physical… unions.”  
         The general blinks several times before it dawns on him that the Mitakas are speaking of homosexuality. “Ah.” He clears his throat. “Surely you must be aware that the First Order has a clear non-discrimination policy which includes sexual orientation among the protected attributes of our service-members.” He doesn’t mention that the adjective “unnatural” is highly debatable, as there are documented cases of homosexuality among most known species with differentiated sexes.  
         “I understand that a certain measure of… lenience is politically expedient for a government and military that needs all the support it can muster. But—”  
         Lorra interrupts. “But Dopheld is our only son. It would be a terrible blow to our family and indeed our local community, were he to continue on this path. We’d greatly appreciate it if you were to intercede on our behalf and plead for him to abandon his selfish ‘relationship’ and marry a woman so that he can start a family of his own.”  
         Biting his lower lip, Hux listens patiently as the couple lists the myriad ways in which Dopheld’s homosexuality undermines their faith, social standing, and genetic continuity. Eventually, though, they fall silent and it’s the general’s turn to speak on the topic. “I recognise that this is very difficult for you, but allow me to attempt to explain how I—and in fact, the Order itself—views the matter. Lieutenant Mitaka is an excellent officer, but more than that, he is a dedicated, intelligent, and uncompromisingly loyal man. I’m familiar with both him and his partner, and I can speak to the healthiness of their relationship, as nontraditional as it may be for you. They are deeply committed to one another, and if it came to such a conclusion, as commander of this vessel I would happily officiate at their marriage ceremony. On a personal level, I can attest to Dopheld’s recently improved wellbeing, and I attribute much of that to his involvement with Lord Ren. I am not a religious man myself, nor am I a father, but it’s my belief that beyond any other desires, the most important outcome for one’s children ought to be their safety and happiness. To that effect, I recommend that you reconcile yourself to your son’s orientation, as he is happier and healthier than I have ever known him to be. On that note, thank you for voicing your concerns and listening to my input.”  
         It’s Lorra Mitaka that manages to muster the courage for a last-ditch plea. “So there’s no way we could convince you to have a word with him? We love him very much, and we don’t want to lose him.”  
         “No. I could not in good conscience speak against homosexuality, much less reprimand one of my best officers for it. You see, I… Well, I am many things, but a hypocrite is not among them.” He gives a polite smile, nods, and concludes, “Have a lovely day, Mr and Mrs Mitaka.” He ends the call and immediately comms Lieutenant Mitaka.  
         The moment Dopheld arrives in his office, Hux launches in without introduction. “I spoke with your parents today.”  
         Immediately, Dopheld’s hands squeeze into fists where he’s holding them at parade rest. “Oh. Why?”  
         “They contacted me asking for me to intercede on their behalf.”  
         “Ah.” He stares at his booths. “About my relationship with Kylo, I’m guessing.”  
         “Well, and about your orientation in general.”  
         “I wish I could say I were surprised. But what did you say?”  
         “As politely as possible, I suggested they learn to cope.” Furtively, he glances over his shoulder as though to make sure no one is eavesdropping. “Also, I may have incidentally outed myself to your family.”  
         Eyes widening, Dopheld brings the back of a gloved hand to his mouth. He can’t hold back the laugh that follows. “Oh, General.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who've read both, I needn't point out the obvious parallels between the first scene here and the opening chapter to "the Extent of Your Sin." That's because "Extent" grew out of this role-play scene and into a story in its own right. I could blather on about what I chose to keep vs. change between the two, but this isn't really the place for that.
> 
> So here we go. Chapter tags:  
> -Drugged but consensual (pre-negotiated) sex  
> -Prostitution role-play  
> -Awkard conversations with a partner's prejudiced family members


	21. New Territory

Seated beside one another on Hux’s couch, the general and the knight clink glasses. After a first, studious sip, Hux speaks. “I have a thought. I’d like to reward Dopheld for his service.” The lieutenant is currently at one of his weekly therapy sessions and the co-commanders have moved their drinks session from the lounge to a more comfortable location.  
         Kylo cocks his head to one side. “How so?” Immediately he’s imagining another threesome, possibly one lasting even longer than the first and involving the liberal use of restraints. Perhaps a blindfold thrown in there as well. They could make a game of it, see if Mitaka can guess whose hands are on him.  
         “He’s never penetrated anyone, you know.”  
         The knight can guess where Hux is going with this. “I do.”  
         “I’d like to do that with him.”  
          _Nope_. Definitely not what Kylo had been thinking. He’d guessed that Hux would propose watching while Dopheld took Kylo. “Oh,” he says, just letting out a placeholder noise while his brain catches up with the unexpected suggestion. “Are you sure?”  
         “I believe so,” Hux confirms. “Do you think he’d like that?”  
         Finding his mouth suddenly dry and words difficult to articulate, Kylo slowly nods his head. “I’ve seen you together. I think he’d be comfortable enough with you.”  
         “Not with you, though?”  
         “Well, frankly, no. Or not as much.”  
         “But you’re the couple here,” the general points out.  
         It’s difficult to explain, this dynamic of theirs. What they have is supportive and caring, but Kylo just can’t see Dopheld topping him with anything approaching grace. Instead he envisions a fumbling, blushing Mitaka apologising profusely for not pleasing Ren with his usual skill. On the other hand, he can see the lieutenant behaving quite differently with Hux, taking the general delicately, almost worshipfully. Perhaps Dopheld would see it as another form of service, introducing the man he holds in such high esteem to the pleasures of bottoming. “I’d love to give you some pointers for receiving, but I have no experience of my own. I suppose you could ask _him_ , but if you’d like it to be a surprise—”  
         “I would indeed.”  
         Kylo hums in thought. “I’m sure he’ll make sure you’re properly prepared. Take his time and treat you gently. I can’t imagine he’d do otherwise. But what’s motivating you to propose this?”  
         “I… want to demonstrate what he means to me. By giving him a new experience, as he’s done so many times for me.”  
         “My, my, Hux. Are you feeling a bit romantic?”  
         The general shrugs. “It’s more of a… deep friendship.”  
         “That may in fact be romance, General.”  
         Kylo receives a piercing glare for this comment.

 

Three drinks later, Kylo has sprawled out on the floor, his back barely propped up against the wall. Hux has relaxed a bit as well, having shed his boots and gloves and slung one leg across a couch arm.  
         “I’d rather like to play with your hair,” the general announces as he examines the inside of his empty glass.  
         “Really?”  
         Hux nods once, not willing to give the knight the satisfaction of hearing him ask again. “Really.”  
         “I don’t know why everyone’s so fascinated by it,” Kylo grumbles, sounding for all the world like a sulking teenager unaccustomed to receiving compliments.  
         “Because it’s entirely against regulation.”  
         “That’s what Dopheld said.” Kylo rearranges himself until he’s seated cross-legged on the floor and Hux reaches down to pet his head. “So, in return… While I’m down here…” He reaches up to tap a quick rhythm against Hux’s buckle with his fingers.  
         Now it’s the general’s turn to be surprised. “Really?” he inquires with an arched brow. “Is it truly that enjoyable?”  
         “Yes. And I don’t want Dopheld to have all the fun with you.”  
         “Fine,” Hux says, waving his hands in surrender. “If you absolutely must.”  
         Kylo sits up to rest his chin on Hux’s thighs while he unfastens the uniform belt and trousers. “Mm, fuck, Hux…” He runs his fingertips through the red hair. “I guess I didn’t fully believe him. And I didn’t get a close look at you that night we shared him.”  
         Hux snorts. “All my body hair is red, Ren. It should hardly be surprising, as it’s part of the whole ginger… package.”  
         “Well, I like it.” With that, he tilts his face forward. His technique is very different than Mitaka’s. It’s more playful and involves more licking and nuzzling. And a good deal of attention paid to the balls. The general supposes he can see why Dopheld doesn’t consider Ren especially skilled at this, but he is currently appreciating the way that the knight frequently glances up at him with big, solicitous eyes. Hux can almost hear him ask, _Is this good?_  
         He blinks, startled, when he comprehends that he actually did hear Ren speak. Directly into his mind. Before he can snap out a reply to the effect that no one else is welcome in his head, something short-circuits inside it and he pants, “Yes, yes. Quite good indeed.” He twists locks of Ren’s hair around his knuckles as his back arches, sending his cock deeper. The knight gags, but Hux is too far gone to stop. “Ren.”  
          _—Kylo._  
         “Kylo… Close,” he gasps in warning. “May I—”  
          _—Of course._  
         With a quiet groan, Hux spurts down Kylo’s throat, tugging on the knight’s hair as though his life depended on it. As he regains his breath, he looks down at Ren, licking his lips and wearing a satisfied smirk. “What would you like in return?”  
         Kylo stammers in response. “I don’t require anything from you.”  
         “I didn’t ask what you required,” Hux clarifies sharply. “I asked what you’d like.”  
         “I…” His plump lips form a brief frown. “I‘d like to jerk off onto you.”  
         With a companionable shrug, Hux declares, “Alright, then.”  
         “Are you sure?”  
         His voice entirely flat, the general declares, “I’m sure I can manage to be still while you look at me and have a wank.”  
         “Would you be willing to remove your shirt?”  
         Hux nods and with a smirk answers, “So you do know how to be polite.”  
         “Oh, shut up, General.” Kylo sheds his robes until he’s standing in his undergarments and joins the redhead on the couch. When he pulls his dick out of his briefs, Hux raises an inquisitive eyebrow. “Yes,” Kylo answers the silent question. “You did this to me.”  
         “I never thought I’d have _that_ sort of power over men.”  
         Stroking himself slowly, Ren murmurs, “But you do. Because you’re fucking gorgeous. And your cool distance just adds to the draw.”  
         The general gives him a vague smile.  
         “I don’t suppose I could convince you to talk dirty to me?”  
         Hux flushes and glances away. “I don’t know how to do that.”  
         “Tell me about Dopheld. What you do together. What you’d like to do together.”  
         Edging closer to the knight so he’ll be able to speak quietly into his ear, Hux says, “The last time we were together, I laid him across the bed, with his head hanging down. I fucked his throat. I could see the bulge in his neck as I used him. I had him touch himself, watched him climax onto his chest when I called him a whore. Maker, the things he’ll let me do to him… That he _wants_ me to do to him.”  
         Kylo’s eyelids flutter closed and he exhales slowly. “I want to watch you fuck him in uniform. You, fully dressed and proper and him entirely naked. Your gloved hands on his bare skin. Listening to the way he calls you ‘sir,’ like he worships you…” He swallows and slows his hand to prolong his pleasure, to savour the expression on the general’s face as he revels in the mention of Dopheld’s joyful subservience.  
         “I want us to take him again. Together. Perhaps using some of those restraints you have. Take our time working him over. And I want… to kiss you again.”  
         The knight’s eyes open. “We could do that now,” he points out.  
         Hux smiles and leans in. This kiss is sectors away from their first—where the introduction had been hesitant and exploratory, this is hungry and wet. All the while, Ren’s hand continues its motions between their bodies.  
         “Hux…” Kylo breathes unsteadily. “I’m getting close.”  
         “Where do you want to…?”  
         “On your chest. Lie back.” He straddles the general’s waist and gazes down at him. “Fuck, you’re so pale… and freckled.”  
         Chuckling quietly, Hux rolls his eyes, but not unkindly. “Well, I’m glad you like it.”  
         “May I lick it off you after?”  
         “If you insist.”  
         “I do.”  
         “Come on me, Ren,” Hux orders.  
         In response, the knight lets out a guttural moan. His eyes glaze over and he shoots across the midline of Hux’s chest, from navel to collarbone. On the second or third spurt, he whispers “Hux” and even without title or honourific, it speaks volumes of reverence. “Oh, fuck, Hux… _Look_ at you.” Still gasping for breath, he bends down and painstakingly licks up his release.  
         Hux, for his part, has no complaints.

 

Two day cycles later, Hux requests that Mitaka join him in his office after the end of his shift.  
         After announcing himself properly, Dopheld adds, “You asked to see me, sir?”  
         “Indeed I did. Have a seat, Dopheld.” Without further warning, he launches into what sounds like a prepared speech. “I wanted to thank you for introducing me to an entire aspect of human relations that I’d previously dismissed out of hand. It’s been strange but very pleasant.”  
         “Oh, you’re quite welcome, sir. I’ve enjoyed it greatly myself, of course.”  
         Hux smiles before continuing. “But I don’t feel words are sufficient. You’ve given me so many first experiences that I’d like to return the favour.”  
         Brow furrowing, Mitaka inquires, “What exactly do you mean, sir?”  
         “What I’m trying to say, Dopheld, is that I’d like you to have me.”  
         “You, sir?” Mitaka asks, mouth suddenly dry and hands unaccountably sweaty.  
         “Yes.”  
         “Me, sir?” he continues, requiring additional confirmation. “You know I’ve never done that.”  
         “And you know I’ve never received. It’ll be another first, Dopheld. This time for the both of us.”  
         Worrying his lower lip between his teeth, Mitaka slowly nods. “I’d like to, as well. And although I have no experience, I’d want to make it as pleasurable for you as possible.” Tilting his head, he adds, “I suppose I have some idea of what to do. After all, I know what I like.” He pauses and looks instantly horrified. “I didn’t mean… Not the way Kylo and I…”  
         The general grins. “Calm down, Dopheld. I know you weren’t planning on tying me down and flogging me.”  
         “Oh, good. Because I wouldn’t dream of it. So when were you thinking we’d do this?”  
         “Tonight, if you’d like. We both have tomorrow free. I thought we could have Ren there as well. For moral support.”  
         “For _my_ moral support, I’m guessing.”  
         “Yes. I also have a suspicion he’d appreciate watching us.”  
         “I’m sure he would, sir.”

  
With the general recently out of a shower and lying naked across his own bed, Mitaka wonders if he ought to have premedicated. But the thumping in his chest and the perspiration across his palms is not exactly unpleasant. It reminds him of his teen years, the nerves that came with the first fumbles in basements and backseats.  
         He leans over and kisses Hux’s collarbone, then briefly sucks at his pink nipples. After that, Dopheld can’t help but let his tongue drift lower. He wants to taste every centimetre of Hux’s body, and his arse is no exception. Especially after that brief conversation they’d had about analingus. And now Hux is tilting his hips up, either in overt or subconscious encouragement. When the flat of his tongue swipes down between the general’s cheeks, Hux gasps.  
         “Oh. That. Is filthy.”  
         Mitaka backs away, but feels a hand grasp him by the hair to hold him in place.  
         “And don’t you dare stop.”  
         Well, then. His mouth returns with a renewed enthusiasm. This must be the warmest part of Hux that he can reach, and with every swirl of his tongue, the general’s hole contracts and relaxes. Mitaka tries to keep the noises he’s making to a minimum, because the sounds escaping Hux’s mouth are glorious.  
         “Maker. Fuck. Dopheld. Fuck. Yes.” Between each word, he’s panting for breath. Eventually, he begs, “Put a finger in me. I want to know what that’s like.”  
         Dopheld is infinitely grateful that he’d already removed his briefs, because his erection is throbbing and leaking precome onto his belly and thighs. With a quiet thump, a bottle of lubricant lands on the mattress beside Hux—thanks to Ren’s assistance, no doubt. Mitaka leans back and takes the container in one hand, pops the cap, and moistens an index finger.  
         “I’ll go slowly, sir.” He slides the pad of his finger around the outside of Hux’s sphincter, just to wet it properly. At least this isn’t his first time fingering someone. The general’s muscles contract at the unusual contact, then unclench as his body determines it isn’t a threat. “How is that, sir?” Dopheld asks once his finger has sunk entirely inside.  
         Hux breathes in and out steadily. “It’s strange. But strangely fine.”  
         With a short nod, the lieutenant begins to slide the digit back and forth. “And this?”  
         “Oh,” Hux whispers, blinking his eyes slowly in consideration. “Not bad,” he concludes.  
         “Good.” Mitaka continues working like this for some time. “I’d like to give you another, sir. Would that be alright?”  
         “Yes, Dopheld,” he agrees but promptly lets out a hiss. “Hells. Oh, hells.”  
         The lieutenant stills his hand, waits for Hux to relax around his digits. “Let me know when you’re ready, or if we need to stop.”  
         But soon the general nods. “Go ahead, Dopheld.”  
         After the second finger is seated alongside the first, things proceed more quickly. “You’re going to feel so good, sir. I can already tell.” He’s pumping his hand steadily, and Hux is pressing back against him, wordlessly asking for more. “How should we go about this?”  
         “What exactly do you mean?”  
         “Positioning.” He can’t imagine taking the general from behind, but when it comes right down to it, he still can’t envision taking him at all. In spite of this incredulity, it seems the galaxy has decided that’s what is about to happen.  
         “I’m not sure, but I want to see your face.”  
         “Oh.” Dopheld reflects on this request, feeling touched. “I suppose you could lie down on your back. It isn’t the easiest position for a first time, though.”  
         “That’s alright. I can handle it; I’m highly motivated.”  
         A puzzled look crosses Mitaka’s face—he isn’t sure _why_ Hux is motivated to do this. But the general always thinks things through, so whatever his reasons, he must be certain of them. “I’ll minimise the discomfort, but there will still be some. You’ll feel a burning sensation, and you’ll instinctively tense up. But I’ll be patient and gentle.”  
         With a knowing smile, Hux answers, “Of course you will, Dopheld.”  
         “Just remember to breathe.”  
         The preparation that follows is a blur to Mitaka. Positioning a pillow under the general’s hips. Further lubrication. Hux’s legs wrapped around Mitaka’s waist. A few awkward chuckles. And then he’s using a hand to guide himself to his goal.  
         Biting down hard on his lower lip, Mitaka is too busy trying to get the right angle for a smooth and gradual entry to truly appreciate what he’s doing. Once the head has slipped in, he pauses, knowing that Hux’s muscles are clenching too much to allow further penetration without injury. The general makes a quiet noise of discomfort, and Dopheld waits.  
         “Breathe, sir,” he says in reminder.  
         Hux gives him a weak smile, but inhales deeply. The crease on his brow fades, and he murmurs, “Go ahead, Lieutenant.”  
         Inexorably, Mitaka sinks in the rest of the way. “Oh, god, _sir_ ,” he breathes in a wavering voice. Now that he’s fully seated, he can’t help but feel everything. This heat is almost painful. The closeness—not just the physical tightness of a passage that twenty minutes ago hadn’t even felt a finger, but the fierce intimacy of it all… The lieutenant can’t speak in a steady tone.  
         “Please, it’s Hux when we’re like this.” The general blinks once and corrects himself, “No, belay that. Call me Armitage while you’re inside me.”  
         Mitaka gazes at the general who is in turn looking up at him with pale blue eyes. Suddenly the lieutenant feels terribly vulnerable, more so than he’s ever felt bottoming. Because being in any sort of position of power unnerves him—and especially considering the particular man he’s currently inside of. The only man he’s ever been in. “How are you doing, Armitage?” His voice is hardly above a whisper; he can’t believe he’s using Hux’s first name aloud.  
         The general smiles at him faintly. “Yellow, Dopheld. Give me a moment.”  
         Even in this situation, Mitaka is excellent at following orders. So he stays frozen precisely where he is, waiting for a signal, but still savouring every split second. Feeling a subtle give a moment before Hux nods, he rocks forward gently. It may not be the most comfortable experience for the general, but Mitaka is determined to at least avoid causing him pain. He himself knows the difference very well.  
         After a short time of this, the redhead’s lips part. “Oh,” he whispers, sounding pleasantly startled. Even though it was some time and many men ago, Mitaka remembers this: the discovery that bottoming isn’t just bearable, but enjoyable.  
          _—Kiss him_ , Kylo instructs silently, for the first time contributing to the interaction. Mitaka leans down so their lips can meet.  
          _—Go ahead and make love to him, Phel._  
         Startled, Dopheld breaks off the kiss to give Kylo a panicked look over his shoulder.  
          _—It’s alright. I’m not threatened by it; I know it’s different with him._  
         Turning back to Hux, he tries not to stare and fails utterly. “You feel so good, Armitage,” he whispers.  
         The general smiles. “I’m glad. As for you… Well. This is _far_ more pleasant than I imagined.”  
         Mitaka pauses his gentle thrusts to sway his hips left and right. Hux moans throatily and the lieutenant bites down on his lip to contain his own joy. Then he bends forward so he can kiss the general’s neck softly. Hux clutches him by the shoulders and pants in his ear.  
         “Oh. Oh, there. Dopheld.”  
          _—And let him know._  
         Mitaka bites back a rising panic and responds silently to Kylo’s order. _He won’t understand; he won’t take it well. Least of all now._  
        _—You may be surprised. Doesn’t he deserve to know how you feel?_  
         Once he starts talking, the words come rushing out. “Sir… Armitage, that is. I ought to tell you… You’re the best leader I could hope for. You’re exacting and just and brilliant. But beyond that, personally, you’re… magnetic. Poised and graceful and undeniably beautiful. I’m so honoured that you’d choose to spend your own time with me, much less allow me to attempt to please you physically. To demonstrate what I can do, to show you what you mean to me.” His brow furrows in concentration and worry as he approaches the crux of the matter. “I love you, Armitage Hux.” The redhead sucks in a hissing breath at the admission. “Not quite the way I love Kylo; I’m not in love with you, precisely. But still… I thought you should know.”  
         The general gulps, squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, then opens them to focus on Dopheld Mitaka as though he’s the only other man in the room, the only other man in the quadrant. “Thank you, Dopheld. As much as I can understand such things, to whatever degree I am able, I… reciprocate.”  
         The lieutenant can’t keep silent tears from rolling down his cheeks. He’s so overwhelmed that he doesn’t even think to brush them away.  
          _—See?_  
_—You utter bastard, you already knew._  
_—I had my suspicions._  
         Hux reaches up to caress Mitaka’s chin and tilt it down. “Now kiss me again before you climax, pretty boy.”  
         Dopheld’s eyes light up, then his mind attempts to reject the information behind this request. “May I come on you, sir?” he inquires, brushing a hand over Hux’s bare chest, imagining being permitted to decorate this pale skin. The thought is sinful enough to approach blasphemy. He knows there’s a strong element of hero worship in the way he views Armitage Hux, and this evening is feeling more and more like a religious experience.  
         The general shakes his head. “No, you may not. I want you to do it properly and finish inside me.”  
          _I couldn’t possibly,_ he thinks, but then he looks at Hux’s insistent expression. “Oh, bloody hell, sir.”  
         “You seem to love it. I want to feel what it’s like. With you.” He couldn’t possibly explain why he feels so strongly about this, why he’s thoroughly invested in sex with Mitaka—and to a lesser extent, Ren—and not particularly curious about anyone else. He certainly wouldn’t want Ren to ejaculate inside him should they ever engage in this activity; that would simply go against everything their interactions mean. And oddly he isn’t concerned about someone of such a lower rank doing this with him, not when it’s Dopheld Mitaka. “Show me,” he asks gently of the young officer who’s become a suprisingly important fixture in his life.  
         “Sir…”  
         “Armitage,” he corrects.  
         Biting his lower lip and shutting his eyes, Mitaka’s release gathers. It peaks slowly but insistently, and he whispers one word as he begins to empty. Usually at this moment he’d say _Sir_ or _My Lord_ or _Thank you,_ but this time, it’s just “Armitage.”  
         Hux inhales sharply when he feels it, a wet heat he’s never imagined. “Oh fuck, Dopheld. Yes, yes, fuck.” He reaches between their bodies to grasp himself and after a tug or two his own climax is spattering them both.  
         Once he finishes rutting through the last of his climax, Mitaka crumples across Hux’s chest. The general imagines how annoying it would be for Ren to do this, but with the lieutenant it’s unexpectedly pleasant.  
         By the time he has to pull out, Hux is petting his hair. “Thank you, Dopheld. I… had no idea. I think I understand a good deal better now.”  
         Mitaka nuzzles his neck. “You’ll probably want to head to the fresher for clean-up. It’s, well, it’s odd. Not painful, just… not particularly attractive, either.”  
         “Thanks for the warning, Lieutenant. But I’m sure I can handle some bodily fluids.”


	22. Feeling Safe

Dopheld is perched on an exam table, legs dangling over the edge. This is his yearly physical exam and he’s edgy as always to be exposed to strangers and anxious to return to work.  
         “Do you feel safe in your personal relationships, Lieutenant?” the nurse asks perfunctorily after listening to his lungs.  
         “I do.”  
         The nurse slowly frowns before scooting her chair back to reach for a specialised torch. Wordlessly she turns the overhead lights down and flashes the beam over Mitaka’s bare chest, arms, and back. “There’s significant bruising all over your body, including what appear to be hand-prints and human bites.”  
         “Yes.”  
         “Let me repeat my previous question. Do you feel safe in your relationships?”  
         “I do.” His eyelids shut in frustration. “It’s all consensual.”  
         “So these injuries are from a lover?”  
         “Yes. Everything is negotiated.”  
         “You think you want this?”  
         What a stupid question. He’s twenty six, he graduated top in his class, he’s entrusted with trillions of credits worth of classified technology on a daily basis. He’s well acquainted with himself by now, with his desires and motivations. Has made peace with his subservience, understands that it doesn’t spring from self-doubt or loathing. “I know I want it. I’ve been doing this sort of thing for years, with various partners.” The look she gives him in response is filled with such horrified pity that Mitaka wishes he could just vanish on the spot. “He may hurt me, but he doesn’t do any damage.”  
         “Except psychologically.”  
         “No, you aren’t listening! It isn’t abusive.” At this point, he doubts he can convince her.  
         “Considering your mental health history—” she starts.  
         Mitaka has to cut in. “I’m sorry? Are you referring to my PTSD diagnosis?”  
         “I am.”  
         “That has nothing to do with my sexual preferences. If anything, he’s helping me.”  
         “By hitting and biting you?”  
         “No, by listening to me and being supportive. By wanting to satisfy me.” Mitaka stands up and starts pulling his undershirt on. “I’m going to get back to the bridge. This has quickly become a waste of my time.”  
         Instead of agreeing, she announces, “I’m calling our crisis team for an intervention.”  
         Reaching into his jacket, Mitaka sighs bitterly and opens a private comm channel. “Sir? Yes, it’s Mitaka. I’m going to need some assistance in Medical if you’d like me to work my shift at some point today.”  
         By the time Hux bursts into the exam room, Mitaka is standing wordlessly in the corner as far away from the nurse and counsellor as he can while still being physically present. At least they allowed him to dress.  
         “What the bloody hell is going on?” Hux snaps, choosing to launch in without introduction. “I was told that the lieutenant had a routine physical exam scheduled. Why isn’t he being released to report to duty?” Both medical personnel blanch, first at his arrival and then at his questions.  
         The nurse musters the courage to respond, “We have significant concerns for his safety, sir.” Although he’s annoyed beyond words, Dopheld is impressed by her fortitude.  
         “Is he contagious or does he in any way pose a potential danger to himself or others?”  
         “No, General.”  
         “Well, then, what could possibly merit his being kept here against his will?”  
         “It isn’t against his will, sir—”  
         Mitaka gives Hux a wearied glance. “I was informed I would not be able to return to the bridge without a psych clearance.”  
         Slowly, like a predator calmly facing his prey with all the time in the galaxy on his side, Hux turns to the medical team. “Precisely why does my lieutenant require a psych clearance today?” His voice is deadly calm and steady.  
         The counsellor coughs into a fist. “Well, there’s the matter of privacy, sir.”  
         Dopheld announces clearly, “I hereby authorise the release of all my medical information to General Armitage Hux until the end of the current day cycle.”  
         “It appears that Lieutenant Mitaka is in a physically and psychologically abusive personal relationship, but that he’s not ready to admit that. We can’t help him until he does.”  
         Mitaka and Hux together deliver withering glances to the man. Wearily, the general pinches the bridge of his nose. “Has either of you ever heard of BDSM?”  
         The man flushes. The woman scowls.  
         “Lieutenant Mitaka and his boyfriend have a consensual and respectful relationship along those lines. They negotiate, set clear boundaries, and use safewords. The marks on his body are not the results of arguments or violence, but rather evidence of the manner in which they prefer to please one another. To that effect, I’d like to point out that Mitaka is happier now than I’ve ever seen him.”  
         The therapist and nurse turn toward each another, conferring silently. The nurse speaks first. “Based on this information, I… ah, believe we can… um… forgo the psychiatric evaluation.”  
         “Thank you,” Hux and Mitaka say in unison, both sounding relieved and exasperated. On their way out the door, the general turns and addresses the staff one last time.  
         “Also, in the interest of thoroughness, Lieutenant Mitaka’s boyfriend is Lord Kylo Ren. As unhappy as you may be that I arrived to clear things up, I’m certain you’re unspeakably grateful it wasn’t _him_.”  
         Inside the lift outside Medical, Mitaka turns to Hux. “Thank you for rescuing me, General.”  
         The redhead flashes a smile that vanishes quickly. “As amusing as that was, it should have been entirely unnecessary. I’m probably going to have to draft a memorandum regarding the importance of medical staff taking our service-members’ statements at face value unless there’s reasonable evidence of inaccuracy or dishonesty.”

 

Ren stops by Hux’s quarters that evening to collect Dopheld as planned.  
         “Hey, Kylo. Please don’t freak out.” Immediately he realises he probably shouldn’t have opened with this request, because Ren’s face has gone rigid. The knight’s gaze flickers back and forth between Mitaka and Hux. “There was an incident in Medical today.”  
         Kylo comes to the couch to kneel at Mitaka’s feet in a reversal of their usual positions. “Phel, are you alright?” he asks, lightly massaging the lieutenant’s calves.  
         “Yes. But there was a… misunderstanding. The nurse shone some fancy light on me and apparently it showed a lot of bruising.”  
         “And.” Kylo’s prompt is cold.  
         “And she insisted on calling in a therapist for a psychiatric consult before letting me leave.”  
         The knight stands up, hands clenching into and relaxing out of fists. “Fucking ridiculous.”  
         “I know,” Hux breaks in. “Which is why Mitaka paged me and I intervened.”  
         “I will destroy everything they love,” Ren intones. “What do they love most? How much does one of those full-body scanners cost?”  
         “Oh, likely a few million credits,” Hux estimates before reflecting on the meaning of the question. “Wait, Ren. Where are you going?”  
         “To melt a scanner or three.”  
         Hux deftly manoeuvres between the knight and the door. “Stop. Think rationally for once.”  
         “Get out of my way.”  
         “How is this going to look to them? Will it help out Mitaka in any way? Or will it confirm their suspicions about his boyfriend being violently unhinged?”  
         Ren’s hand hesitates, wavering in front of the door panel. Mitaka adds one word. It’s “Please.”  
         For possibly the first time in his life, Kylo Ren listens to reason and stands down. Then he makes his way back to the couch and takes a seat between the two officers, head in weary hands. “Dammit. Now we have to talk, don’t we?”  
         Dopheld quietly answers, “Yes.”  
         “You see why I prefer stabbing things?”  
         “No, not really,” Mitaka says honestly. He’s never taken his anger out on inanimate objects, and can’t see how it would be at all satisfactory or useful. “But I know you used to destroy consoles partially to get Hux’s attention.” Instantly both men turn toward him with shock on their faces. Was he supposed to share this information? Probably not.  
         “You did what.” Hux’s voice is flat with horror and incomprehension. “You destroyed First Order property why?”  
         Turning to the general with a sheepish face, the knight attempts to explain himself. “Arguments can be foreplay.”  
         “Oh good Maker, no. You’re such a child. Tantrums are so unattractive.” He groans. “Who taught you that, anyway? Was it your parents?”  
         Kylo reddens a little.  
         “Really, Ren,” he chides, sounding a touch parental himself. “You’re still taking relationship lessons from terrorists? That’s awfully disappointing.”  
         The knight turns back to Mitaka, places a hand on his thigh. “So what do we do? Instead of breaking things?” He frowns. “Am I not allowed to break _you_ anymore?”  
         Mitaka makes a dismissive noise like _ppft_. “You never broke me.”  
         “Should I not leave bruises, then?”  
         The lieutenant rolls his eyes at the suggestion. “I’d hardly want my sex life to change because a few uneducated bystanders were concerned. You should leave bruises if we both want it. And I know I still want it.”  
         Kylo nods in relief. “As do I. Now, shouldn’t we thank Hux for helping you out today?”  
         Dopheld’s eyes brighten mischievously. “Of course, My Lord.” This use of Kylo’s title indicates a sudden shift to Play Mode. He leans forward to be able to address Hux directly. “What would you like from me, General?”  
         “I…” Hux stammers a little. It seems he wasn’t expecting an offer of anything at all; the plan had been for Ren to come by to gather Mitaka after a trying day. “I think I’d like to tie you down so that Ren and I can have our way with your body. For a good few hours.”  
         Mitaka blushes, he can feel it start on his face before simultaneously travelling down his chest and back. “Yes, please, sirs.”  
         Hux turns to the knight. “I’ll require guidance, if you’d be so kind.”  
         “Of course, General. Pet, go into the bedroom and wait for us on the bed. The general and I are going to select a variety of restraints and other toys to torment you with. Hux, we’ll need to stop by my quarters to pick up some… instruments.”  
         Mitaka stands up from the couch and watches them leave.  
         As the door slides shut behind them, Kylo calls back into the living area. “Oh, and you’d better be nude by the time we return.”  
         Dopheld strips leisurely, wondering what exactly Ren and Hux are planning. Will they linger in Ren’s rooms while the knight explains each item and device one by one, and how to drive Mitaka mad with them all? Or will he just wait to demonstrate? Mitaka takes a moment to stand in front of Hux’s full-length mirror and tease his nipples. Not too hard, though, because the clamps may make an appearance later.  
         By the time he hoists himself onto the bed, he’s fully aroused. Imagination is one hell of an aphrodisiac, especially when the starring roles are going to be played by Ren and Hux. He keeps his hands to his sides and doesn’t even consider touching his cock.  
         He debates if he should prep himself. Then he wonders if Hux even owns lubricant. Each time Mitaka’s been here, they’ve used the small bottle he brings with him. Would it be too forward to use the general’s supply, if he does in fact have one? Would it be too whorish to open himself up at all? Or would that be the perfect level of self-degradation they’d like to see from him? Would they want to prep him together instead?  
         The front door slides open, and Mitaka realises he’s spent all his time alone trying to figure out what to do, without even deciding. Well, that makes the decision for him, he supposes. If the matter comes up, he’ll explain that he wasn’t instructed one way or another, and didn’t want to risk disobeying.  
         The two men stand in the bedroom doorway and appraise him. “Lieutenant,” Hux acknowledges.  
         “General. Lord Ren.” Should he salute? How ridiculous would that be, considering that he’s naked on Hux’s bed and the Knight of Ren is carrying a duffel bag filled with sex toys? He salutes anyway. Kylo laughs.  
         “You have him so well trained, Hux.”  
         “It’s the military hierarchy overall that does that, Ren. Not me personally.”  
         “Well, the military hierarchy has raised one hell of a good submissive.”  
         “Thank you, My Lord. But I was always like this.”  
         Hux nods. “That’s why he does so well in the Order.”  
          _—And in bed,_ Kylo adds silently, but he sends it to both other occupants of the room. Hux and Mitaka smile together. The two clothed men approach the bed, and that’s the last sight the lieutenant has for a while because Kylo slips a blindfold over his eyes. He hears a zipper—the duffel bag, he assumes—and rustling of its contents. Ren and Hux confer in low voices, just outside Mitaka’s range of hearing.  
         Hands take hold of his wrists (he can tell they belong to Hux from their size) and secure cuffs around them, one at a time.  
         “Now what?” Hux asks.  
         “Turn him over, then hook him up.”  
         Hux’s hands guide Mitaka onto his stomach, then stretch his arms out on either side of his head, and fasten his wrist restraints to the leads Kylo must have attached to the bedposts.  
         Something changes hands. “Thank you,” Hux says to Kylo. Then there’s activity between his feet, and Mitaka knows exactly what’s happening when he feels a touch at one ankle. The general is locking him into the spreader bar. From here on out, he won’t be able to close his legs even if he wants to.  
         He doesn’t imagine he’ll want to.  
         “Now we’re going to play a game called Whose Fingers Are Up Your Ass,” Kylo announces.  
         “What are the rules, sirs?”  
         Hux explains. “One of us will shove a finger inside you, and you’ll have guess to whom it belongs. If you guess incorrectly, you’ll receive another.”  
         “And if I guess correctly, sir?”  
         Kylo laughs as he answers. “You’ll receive another.”  
         Mitaka has to laugh at this as well. It may not be the most well thought-out game, but he guesses he’ll enjoy it. The men vanish to the fresher to wash their hands and on their return, a bottle (lubricant) is opened. He’s pulled down to the edge of the bed and someone stands behind him. A wet digit teases his rim for the briefest of moments before sinking in.  
         “General Hux,” Mitaka answers almost immediately.  
         “Beginner’s luck,” Kylo decides. “Go on and give him another.”  
         Hux works a second finger in and pumps them both lightly. Mitaka pushes back onto his hand, getting into the spirit of this game of theirs.  
         “Alright, Round Two.”  
         The fingers disappear and the lieutenant can’t hold back a sad little whimper, even though he knows he won’t be left empty for long. And he’s correct, because two other fingers force their way inside and instantly curl towards his prostate.  
         “Oh! Lord Ren!” He can tell from the stretch compared to Hux’s digits, as well as the deft manoeuver once inside. Then he remembers that his response is going to get him a third.  
         “Correct. You may be better at this that I originally guessed. General, please assist.”  
         Another digit joins Kylo’s. _Oh, dear._ This third finger is Hux’s, then. He works it straight in while Kylo continues to press on his prostate.  
         “I think we should abandon the game in favour of focusing on widening him up,” Hux suggests.  
         “Good call,” Ren agrees. “We have twenty fingers between us. How many can your slutty hole take?”  
         “I… don’t know, My Lord.”  
         “We’re about to find out. Another of yours, if you would.”  
          _Two and two,_ Mitaka thinks, trying to remain as relaxed as possible. One hand—Kylo’s—is shifting, pulling most of the way out to allow him to add another finger. Three and two.  
         “Have you ever been fisted, pretty boy?” Kylo asks, his voice hoarse. He already knows the answer.  
         “No, My Lord.”  
         “We’re going to have Hux be your first, then. I’m not feeling particularly cruel tonight.”  
         “Thank you, Lord Ren.” He thinks he could have handled it, but is glad for the relative reprieve.  
         “What do I need to do?” Hux asks.  
         “First of all, you’ll need a good deal more lube.” Ren’s hand eases out and he moves to the bedside table. There’s a spurting sound as lubricant hits Hux’s palm. The two remaining penetrating fingers wriggle inside for a moment, then withdraw entirely so Hux can work the slick over his entire hand. Mitaka can feel his hole flutter as it clenches around empty air.  
         “Filthy,” Hux murmurs, although he rubs the rim affectionately with the pad of his thumb. “I’m not sure how all this is going to fit,” he observes. Mitaka imagines the general is staring at his own hand.  
         “Just take your time. His body can take it. It’ll have to. Here, start back in with these two, but palm down.” The index and middle digits slide back inside. “Now, curl the tips downward. Find his sweet spot. It has a rougher texture.”  
         “Oh!” Mitaka cries out as Hux’s fingertips land against his prostate.  
         “Now what?”  
         “Make him desperate.”  
         As Hux starts massaging him, Dopheld’s back arches and his mouth hangs open. He thinks he may be drooling. Remembering that this is Hux’s first time doing this, he suspects Kylo is instructing him silently. “Sir! Oh, sir! Please, give me a break or I’ll come!”  
         “He can climax just from this?”  
         “If it’s done right, yes.”  
         So Hux straightens his fingers, pulls them back, and inserts another. Dopheld pushes back, encouraging him to pump his digits in and out.  
         “See? He’s doing just fine. Give him another. He had five in him earlier, remember.”  
         Despite the lube, the fourth burns, but the sensation is still more pleasurable than not. Mitaka tries not to worry about how the thumb is going to feel, as he just wants to be a good toy for the general to play with.  
         Someone’s moving around, and it must be Kylo because Hux is rather… occupied at the moment. So Dopheld doesn’t focus on it, even forgets about it, until—  
         “Fuck!” he shouts as the crop makes stinging contact with his lower back.  
         Kylo clucks in disapproval. “Is that any way to respond to my attention, boy?”  
         “No, My Lord,” he admits. “I’m sorry.”  
         “Good. Let’s try again.”  
         Another smack from the end of the crop. This time Dopheld’s expecting it, so he just bites his lower lip, breathes in, and says, “Thank you, Lord Ren.”  
         “Good little fuck-boy.”  
         And all this time, Hux is still diligently working him open, gradually rotating his hand. “How can I tell if he’s ready?”  
         “Go slow and gauge by his reactions.”  
         “Alright, Phel. I’m going to give you my whole hand. Think you can take it?”  
         Mitaka nods.  
         “We can’t hear you, pretty boy,” Kylo prompts.  
         “Yes, sir! I’m ready for your hand, General! Please fuck me with it!” His voice has risen at least half an octave. Kylo lets off with the cropping while Hux folds his thumb in and presses forward as gently as he can. Mitaka whimpers, and suddenly Kylo sits down beside his head and pulls off the blindfold. Cupping his chin in one hand, he looks into Dopheld’s eyes as they begin to tear up.  
         “You’re such a good boy, Phel. I know you can take this.” He leans in and kisses the lieutenant, partly because he wants to and partly to distract him. Petting Mitaka’s hair, he licks the man’s lips, drawing out a sigh. “Shh,” he soothes, brushing away the tears leaking from the corners of Dopheld’s eyes. “Don’t panic. Just breathe. Hux is going to make it as painless as possible. Then you’ll relax and it will slowly feel amazing.”  
         Mitaka thinks about asking, _How would you know?_ But he doesn’t want to be a brat.  
         Still, Kylo’s eyes narrow for a moment. “I’ve seen it in memories, Phel. From other men.”  
         “I’m sorry, My Lord. I didn’t mean to doubt—”  
         “It’s fine. You’re under a bit of strain right now, and I forgive you. Status?”  
         “Green, Lord Ren.” Finally, Mitaka feels a narrowing sensation. He allows himself a few deep breaths, then turns to look at Hux. A victorious grin is spreading across his face.  
         “That’s it. You’ve taken it. Good boy, Phel.” He looks to Ren for direction. “What now?”  
         “Slowly remove your hand. Make a fist and lubricate it some more. Then fuck him with it.” Kylo’s attention returns to Mitaka. “Don’t worry. I’ll stay right here with you.” Dopheld groans when the fingers furl inside him, then gasps with the first thrust.  
         “Please? Lord Ren?”  
         “What do you need, Phel?”  
         “Hold me?”  
         Immediately Kylo wraps his arms around Dopheld’s shoulders, kissing his cheeks and murmuring, “I love you, Phel. Love you so much.”  
         Mitaka starts crying fully, but it isn’t pain that has tears coursing down his face. Undoubtedly, there’s a significant amount of discomfort, but that isn’t what’s overwhelming him. No, it’s the fierce intimacy with Kylo, the power Hux currently has over him, and a surging swell of gratitude. “Thank you, sir. I love you, too. Thank you for everything you give me, My Lord.”  
         “And how about some gratitude for our General?”  
         “Of course,” Mitaka gushes, raising his voice for Hux to hear. “Thank you for your hand, sir. For fucking me like this.”  
         Hux snorts in surprise. “You really are incredibly well-trained, aren’t you?” He checks in with Kylo. “What happens next? What do we do with this stretched hole?”  
         The knight’s responding grin is wide and feral. “We both fuck it. At the same time.”  
         Mitaka wails. “Yes, please! Oh, Maker, _please_ …” His voice breaks in desperation, sending him into a brief coughing spell. He sees stars behind his shut eyelids. “And soon, I _beg_ you, sirs.”  
         Kylo nods, then reaches around to unhook Mitaka’s wrists from the bedposts. Immediately Dopheld flings his arms around the knight’s shoulders. Hux gives him a few last pumps for good measure, then ever so slowly begins to withdraw. Kylo reaches a hand out to Force-pull the largest plug from the duffel bag, then tosses it over to the general.  
         “Slick that up and slide it in to keep him open for us while we get into position.”  
         Hux nods and follows his instructions. At room temperature and coated in lubricant, the plug is welcomingly cool in Mitaka’s already worn arse.  
         “Should we let him out of this as well?” Hux asks, gesturing to the spreader.  
         “Yes. I imagine it will just get in the way.”  
         “So…” The general’s voice has that familiar problem-solving tone to it. “How do we position ourselves? I suppose one of us lying down, our sweet boy in the middle face-up, and the other sitting between his legs, holding them in the air?”  
         Kylo blinks. He keeps forgetting how much of an engineer the redhead is. “Yes. That’s it, exactly.”  
         “Well, sirs, I know where I’m going to be. So which of you is where?”  
         The knight answers. “I think I should be on the bottom, so I can hold you steady. Besides, I imagine the general would prefer not to be crushed tonight.”  
         Hux voices his opinion of this plan. “How very thoughtful of you, Ren.”  
         Kylo Ren leaves the bed to remove his robes, leggings, and underclothes. Hux does the same with what remains of his uniform, and takes a side trip to the sink to wash his hands. Back in the bedroom, both men slick themselves up.  
         “Make room, slut,” Kylo orders with a playful smile as he lies down on the mattress. Hux crooks an eyebrow at just how much real estate the knight is able to occupy. Then Ren pats his chest, gesturing for Mitaka to join him. “Hux, you’ll be the one to remove the plug when we’re ready. I’ll go in first, then let you know when to raise his legs up and come on in.”  
         Once Mitaka’s back is against his chest, Kylo takes the opportunity to kiss where his neck meets his shoulder, causing him to shudder. “Status?”  
         “Green. Very green.”  
         He folds an arm across Mitaka’s chest, twists a nipple, and says, “Take the plug out now.”  
         “Ahh,” Dopheld complains with a whine.  
         “Don’t worry. Here’s my cock,” Kylo says in consolation while he reaches down and shoves himself inside in a single motion.  
         “Fu—fuck.” It’s his first dick of the night, but it feels more like the eleventh. Kylo tilts up into him, and Mitaka likes the way that he can hear every sound coming out of the knight’s mouth. The quiet pants, the subtle moans, and the reverent chant that accompanies it all.  
         “Gods, Phel. Fuck. Good boy, Phel. So good.”  
         After a minute or so of this, Kylo speaks louder. “Join me, General. There’s plenty of room in here, I’m sure.”  
         Dizzily, Mitaka watches as Hux sits up on his knees, grabs the lieutenant’s legs and places them over his shoulders. Then he takes hold of his dick and eases it in alongside Kylo’s. He stares down at Mitaka, jaw slack, eyes glassy. Dopheld meets him with a similar expression.  
         “Aaaa,” is the only thing Mitaka can say.  
          _—Status?_ Kylo asks.  
         Mitaka can’t even formulate words in his mind. Instead he just sends Kylo a burst of the colour green. It suffices.  
         Hux braces himself with his arms on either side of Dopheld’s body, palms flat against the mattress. “So. Fucking. Tight. Dopheld.”  
         Kylo breathes into his ear. “Such a good boy. So very good for us.”  
         “I won’t last,” Hux admits in a breathy voice.  
         “Neither will I,” Kylo adds. He snakes a hand down to stroke Dopheld. “Think the two of us can coordinate?”  
         Perspiration is forming on Hux’s brow and upper lip, and already slicking his collarbone. “Possibly.”  
         “Because Phel is going to come right after we start.”  
         “I… usually… do, My Lord.”  
         “That’s because you’re a sweet little come-slut.”  
         It’s true. Making men climax has always gotten Dopheld off, especially when he can feel their release on or inside him. And he suspects that Kylo can use the Force to sense when Hux is close, and use it to speed his own way. He wonders if he’s going to pass out in ecstasy.  
         Hux puts a hand across Dopheld’s throat and squeezes. “Say it.”  
         “Sir?”  
         “Tell us what you are, Phel.”  
         “Oh,” he says in surprise at the general’s use of his nickname. “I’m a come-slut, sir.”  
         “What else?” His blue eyes are glinting with power and pleasure.  
         It all bubbles out of him. “I’m a filthy whore, sir. Yours and Lord Ren’s. I’m just your little toy to use. So please, General, give me your load.”  
         The redhead’s eyelids slam shut, his pace wobbles, and he shouts something that isn’t a word in any language. Kylo begins groaning deeply, holding Mitaka tightly to his chest.  
         Dopheld feels _everything_. The throbbing of both dicks inside him, the pulsing bursts of their fluids, the aching jolt in his own scrotum. His vision fills with stars; he can’t tell if he’s breathing. All he knows is that he’s given these two incredible men enormous pleasure, and that fact has kicked him over into his own climax. He’s never felt so important… or powerful.  
         When he comes to, Hux is sliding out first, wiping the sweat off his brow. “Bloody fucking hell, Mitaka. You’re absolutely incredible.” He smirks. “You know, you’ve probably ruined me for other men.”  
         Kylo turns the two of them onto their sides before easing out himself. “Same.”  
         The general shrugs. “Then I suppose we’ll have to maintain the new status quo.” Reflecting for a moment, he looks back at the Lord Knight and his adjutant, sprawled across his sheets in post-coital lassitude. “Do you think we ought to combine our living quarters? It would take some renovation, to add a second fresher and another bedroom… But with yours unoccupied, we could expand across the hallway between… Hmm.” He strides over to the viewport, lights a cigarette, and stares into space, tapping the filter against his lips in thought.  
         Dopheld twists around to look at Kylo in utter shock. “Did he just ask both of us to move in with him?” he asks in a hushed voice. “Or did the two of you fuck me so hard that I’m hallucinating?”  
         “Um… No, I heard it too.” Kylo clears his throat and raises his voice. “General Hux?”  
         “Mm?”  
         “Did you invite us to all cohabitate?”  
         “Yes, I did. What? It would be practical. I think I’d prefer to have a separate bedroom for myself most nights, but it would be very convenient to share a general living space. Then there would be no question of where one’s items… for example, all these toys… are at any given moment.”  
         “That’s probably the least romantic reason I can think of to want a partner to move in.”  
         The redhead shrugs. “You both know I don’t do the romance thing. I leave that to the two of you. I’m just here for your bodies. And in Dopheld’s case, friendship as well.”  
         “I still hate you, Hux,” Kylo declares. “Just to make that clear.”  
         “Good. I wouldn’t want to change everything.”


End file.
